


Lead me back from the darkness like you do.

by electricteatime



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, BLACKWING - Freeform, Broken Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, DGHDA Big Bang 2019, Dirk is gonna find him, Emotional Support, Everything Going Wrong, Farah is amazing, Gen, Happy Ending, Holistic Team Up, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental projection into the astral plane?, Mild and brief mental possession, Reality Bending, Relationship hang ups being resolved, Rescue Mission, Road Trip, Soulmates, Temporary Character Death, The Backstage of Reality, Todd is missing, established relationships - Freeform, more creepy than horror, references to childhood abuse, soul searching, still weird though, unlikely friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-14 15:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 50,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20194240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricteatime/pseuds/electricteatime
Summary: One missing person is so normal it’s almost boring, and two really isn’t much better. A missing house on the other hand, that’s a little more interesting, and when an entire street disappears without a trace, it’s fair to say Dirk is in his element.Then Todd goes missing, and he’s so out of his element it threatens to drown him.It's all just symptoms of a bigger problem, one Dirk has been trying his hardest to ignore, something broken in the fabric of reality itself that's only growing worse with time. He's not the only one who feels it, but he might be the only one who can fix it. It's a thought that he doesn't even want to consider, let alone have to contend with when he doesn't know what he's doing and he no longer has Todd to help him out.But Dirk isn’t ready to give up just yet, no matter what the universe tries to toss his way. Instead he finds allies in unlikely places, friends where he’d assumed enemies, and sets out for the one place on earth he swore he’d never go back to. He’s going to set things right if it kills him, it’s what he was meant to do, he has to fix this.And get Todd back in the process. That part is non-negotiable.





	1. One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's me! It's been a while since the Beginner Bang and in the meantime I've been working on this! Weirdly it's not as long, and was a million times more stressful because while doing this my life kinda went to shit for a while so I'm not entirely happy with the outcome but at least it's here. 
> 
> HOWEVER! This is my Big Bang entry, which means it comes with art!I was lucky enough to be paired with [lilymanzo](https://lilymanzo.tumblr.com) who made some _incredible_ art (including some of glitch Todd that blew my mind) which you can find [here!](https://lilymanzo.tumblr.com/post/186924162132/this-is-the-art-i-made-for-the-dghdabigbang). You're really gonna miss out if you don't check it out, thank you for making such cool stuff! 
> 
> I have to send some thanks to [incorrigible-worksop](https://incorrigible-worksop.tumblr.com) for looking over the first few chapters for me when I couldn't work out if I was coming or going. And of course to [dont-offend-the-bees](https://dont-offend-the-bees.tumblr.com) for looking over my whole fic in pretty much one night so it didn't go entirely un-beta'd, and of course for running this whole thing. You've both been a massive help and I really appreciate it <3
> 
> (I stole the title from Tall Heights - Horse to Water which is a song I love. I do have a playlist for this fic for anyone who wants it <3)
> 
> I suppose I'll shut up now and let you get on with it. I have a lot of reservations about this fic, but I hope you all at least enjoy it!

Dirk wakes up to the overwhelming feeling that something is _very_ wrong. 

Which is to say that he wakes up like this _most_ days; being attuned to the universe and all its faults has its downsides, has _mostly_ downsides, and one of those downsides is the ever present awareness that something is _not right_, which every so often, when he’s unable to tune it out, is accompanied by an overwhelming need to _fix it_. 

Having said that, today is not actually _today_ yet. Rather it’s just gone four in the morning, the world around him is quiet and dark, and yet still he wakes up so suddenly he manages to fall out of bed with the shock of it. The sound is enough to wake Todd it would seem, as a few moments later he sits up and looks around with some confusion, before groaning and moving to peer over the side of the bed. 

“Dirk?” His voice is thick with sleep, some confusion, and more than enough warning that there had better be a good reason for his sleep being so rudely interrupted. Dirk knows well enough by now that a just-woken-up Todd is not the best at dealing with things outside the realms of his accepted and understood perception of reality, and so Dirk decides it might be best not to drop anything too alarming on him right now. 

“Hello Todd! Lovely morning!”

Todd's brow furrows, looking him over where he's sprawled on the floor before he glances over at the clock on the side table.

"It's the middle of the night," he states, yawning as he wipes a hand over the back of his eyes. "You okay?"

There's a tumultuous feeling in his gut growing stronger by the second, a cacophony building in the back of his head that's getting louder and louder and _louder_, like the pressure of it might make him explode, like if he tried to put voice to what exactly it was all he'd end up doing is screaming and screaming and _screaming_ and yet-

"Fine, Todd. I'm fine I just... fell. Out of bed. Like people do. People _do_ do that don't they? It's not- well, of course they do that would make sense, it _is_ rather high. I'm just going to..." he pushes himself up off the floor, taking a few steps back from where Todd is watching him, the confusion on his face spreading through suspicion to concern.

"_Dirk_," he repeats, and dammit he sounds clearer now, like he's waking up and the time that Dirk has to get away with anything is growing shorter by the second. "What's going on?"

He pauses, fidgeting his fingers together as he tries to work out what to tell him. _How_ to tell him. Todd is... wonderful, _perfect_ even, and he's made his stance on sticking around for even the strangest things rather clear, but that doesn't mean he has the ability to _understand_ Dirk's ability, anymore than Dirk himself can _explain_ it. It's frustrating at the best of times, and downright distressing at the worst.

"Nothing. _Nothing_ is going on. Everything is... fine. I just-" he sighs, shoulders dropping as he shakes his head, rubbing his hands over his face. It's been there for days now, the feeling. Coming and going and usually remaining little more than a niggling sensation in the back of his head that he's able to brush off as long as he doesn't think about it. It's going back to that now, he can feel it pulling away, retreating to the corner of his mind where he's quite happy to let it sit as long as it doesn't bother him too much, but when it had woken him up it was more like he'd just stuck his finger in a plug socket. A sudden jolt right through his being, the echoing inhuman sound in his head he could only think of as a scream still ringing in his ears when he was unceremoniously dumped into the land of the living, the metallic tang of iron on the back of his tongue. It's like he's trying to play scrabble in a language he's never seen if he thinks too hard about trying to understand it. He asks, although he already knows the answer, small and uncertain like he's not sure what else to say.

"Did you feel something?"

Todd softens at that, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, finally giving in to the fact that he's awake now, and likely will be for some time.

"What kind of something?"

Dirk watches him back, the look on Todd's face is more familiar than ever now, and although he knows it means Todd knows this isn't going to be something he'll be able to understand it's just as comforting to Dirk. He listens, and even if there's no way for him to ever feel the universe the way Dirk does, even if it's not _real_ to him, he tries. And he believes him, if Dirk lets him.

"It's like..." he shakes his head, looking for the words. "Like a... something _sudden_, something... not _right_. More not right than the _normal_ amount of not right. Like- Like something _happened_."

Todd frowns, and Dirk can see him trying to parse the information. Trying to pick his next words carefully. "Did- _did_ something happen?"

Dirk shrugs, moving to sit down next to him now the worst of it has passed. It just leaves him feeling _tired_ more than anything. "I don't have the first idea. If it did then not here, clearly. If _not_ then- then I don't know _what_ it was. I've felt- _things_ before, all the time, even. But not- _never_ like that."

Todd doesn't say anything for a moment, just turns towards him, taking one of Dirk's hands between his own. It's nice. Their relationship is still settling in, but Dirk hopes he never stops finding it nice.

"Right. But... if nothing's happened here then there's nothing you can do, right? I mean, does it... does it want you to go somewhere? Do something?"

He frowns, doing his best to focus on the feeling even though he knows all too well that rarely helps him out. "No. I don't think so it was more like... it was almost like it was in _pain_."

"The _universe_?"

"Yes. Just- just for a second but it felt- not good?"

"Are you... are you hurt or-?" His voice takes on an edge of worry that almost makes Dirk feel bad in his hurry to correct him.

"No! Well, a little. From the falling. But not- I wasn't _in_ pain I just... _felt_ it. Sorry. It's..."

Todd shakes his head, an attempt at reassurance. "I think- maybe, if there's nothing... I mean if it doesn't seem to want you to _do_ anything then... maybe you should just try sleeping again? I mean. We can't do anything now, right? And if there _is_ something wrong I'm sure it'll... come up in some other way. Somewhere. Right?"

There are many times Dirk considers Todd's more straightforward approach a little inadequate when it comes to dealing with universal anomalies. And yet now, like he is so many times whether Dirk would like to admit it or not, he happens to be right about the situation at hand. Dirk doesn't _tell_ him this of course, instead he just sighs heavily and leans into him, warm and solid against the chill of the early morning.

"It could have at least _waited_ until a reasonable time to wake me up," he grumbles.

"Yeah well," Todd moves, nudging Dirk along with him until he's maneuvered them both back under the blankets, letting Dirk curl up against his side in a mirrored reversal of their usual sleeping habits. "When the universe starts being reasonable, we'll be out of a job."

Dirk smiles at that, Todd's gentle grumbling about the state of affairs a sure sign that everything is not quite as bad as Dirk had first thought. He's not convinced he'll be able to sleep much, but at least like this nothing feels as urgently panicked as he had upon waking, and if something _is_ wrong Todd is right that it will crop up sooner or later. He's not looking forward to _that_, but at least for now the moment has passed, and he's quite content to lay here instead, listening to the steady, gentle sound of Todd's breathing as it slows, the fingers combing through his hair growing heavier and slower with every pass.

It feels, for a moment, like he could just as easily have imagined the whole thing.

Dirk, though he doesn’t know it yet, should know better by now.

***

Life at the agency is a steady ebb and flow for the most part, something which Todd had honestly been surprised by when they first settled into it. They had plenty of false starts of course, plenty of cases that Dirk would deem _boring_ or ordinary, not holistic enough to warrant his skills but sometimes intriguing, or upsetting, or the client was willing to pay them enough for them to take them on anyway. Dirk it would seem is particularly fond of cases involving missing cats, he claims it's where his career as a detective began and so he owes it to anyone who comes to them with these cases to take them on. Todd has noticed that once they _find_ said cat, it often takes Dirk an hour or more to actually call the owner. Found cats leave their office a lot more fussed than they otherwise had been.

It's been slow recently though, a lot of days spent sat around tossing poorly crafted paper airplanes back and forth, debating the quality of local coffee shops, and politely informing many a caller than no, they are not the pizza place they are looking for. The breaks are welcomed, especially when they follow a particularly heavy case, but it's times like these; Dirk leaning back so far on his chair he's in danger of falling off it, Todd trying to work out how much Dirk would complain if he startled him into doing just that, Farah scratching away at something she refuses to share in a notebook, when a knock on the door is more than welcome.

Dirk, teetering on the edge as he was, startles enough to end up on the wrong side of gravity, and finds himself crashing to the floor with a yelp. Todd feels bad for laughing before anything else, but a glance at Farah tells him he's not the only one.

"_That_," Dirk huffs, as he extracts himself from the tangle of limbs and chair legs, "was _completely_ uncalled for!"

"You okay?" Todd asks, amusement clear in his voice as Dirk rights himself, sure that he _is_ but just worried enough to ask anyway.

Dirk narrows his eyes at his tone, suspicious. And okay, maybe Todd is mocking him a _little_, but if he _will_ lean back on his chair like that...

"_Fine_, thank you Todd." He sniffs, making his way through from the back of the office to what Dirk had dubbed the 'informal interview area' where Farah has already invited their client in. Todd thinks the area is just an excuse to have sofas in the office, but given that he's often found sprawled out over them himself he's not complaining.

"This is Sarah," Farah says, gesturing towards the woman. She's tall, in her mid thirties with a cropped brown haircut that seems to have been ruffled out of its careful styling by whatever it is that's brought her here. The tear tracks are still visible on her cheeks, and she looks like she may start sobbing at any moment. Farah has already handed her a box of tissues and settled her into a chair. "She says her brother is... missing?"

"Gone," Sarah corrects. "He's... _vanished_. Just- completely disappeared and I don't-" she shakes her head. "It's not _like_ him, I don't care _what_ they say, he wouldn't just _disappear_ like that."

"What _who_ say?" Dirk interjects, taking a seat on the sofa opposite her, clearly intrigued by _something_. Todd thinks back to the night before, the first indication of universal interference they'd had in quite some time, and wonders if it's at all connected. Well, he reminds himself, _everything_ is connected, something that he tries rather hard to stop himself thinking about whenever he starts before he ends up in a mental tangle of universal inconsistency. "Sorry," Dirk continues waving his hand apologetically. "I'm Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective," he gestures to the sign as he says it, and Todd tries not to let himself feel too overwhelmed with affection at the sight of him being so proud of himself. "And this is Todd, my assistant!"

Todd finds himself a little flustered by the fond look that accompanies those words, but like always he manages to swallow it down and vaguely wave a notebook in her direction. "I'm uh, gonna be taking notes? He talks, so..." he shrugs, but it seems to satisfy her as she gives them both a watery smile and clutches onto the glass of water Farah hands to her as she joins them on the sofa.

"So!" Dirk continues, bright as anything. "Your brother has vanished?"

"Yes," she nods, sniffling a little and sipping at her water. "Two days ago. I always go to see him on Thursdays, he can get... down. Sometimes. I like to check in on him. But this time when I went he just... wasn't there."

"Is that unusual?" Todd asks, trying his best not to turn it into an interrogation. "I mean... he couldn't have just gone off somewhere for a bit?"

"Well that's what I thought at first! I thought maybe... maybe he was getting better, maybe he'd forgotten it was Thursday, maybe he'd just gone out to get some milk but- I let myself in. I thought I'd wait for him and I went to make myself some coffee, and that's- that's when I noticed his keys were on the table. The door was locked, but his keys were right there! Like he'd... forgotten them or something but-" she swallows, shaking her head. "I'm- I'm _not_, I don't believe in... you know. Ghosts. The paranormal. All that kind of thing. I _don't_, but... it felt _wrong_ in there. Like... like if someone had moved everything in there just an inch to the left. Not... _completely_ wrong but-"

"Not completely right?" Dirk asks. He's leaning in now, clearly engaged, and Todd wonders if he's _feeling_ something. There’s something different in the way he engages with _holistic_ things that isn’t entirely present when he’s engaging with more _ordinary_ things, or at least Todd thinks so. He’s started to associate it both with excitement at the idea of a new case, and dread for what fresh hell will be unleashed upon them this time.

"Exactly. Everything was... right where he left it. He hadn't taken any clothes, any _money_. The plates were still drip-drying from where he'd washed them! It wasn't like he'd gone it was... it was more like he'd never been _there_." Her breath is shaky as she reaches for her bag, fishing something out. "I tried- I tried calling his phone when I couldn't find it... but it just- made some strange kind of crackling, _screeching_ sound. I've never heard anything like it. Just- listen." She pulls the phone from her bag, dialling the number swiftly and placing it down on the coffee table. 

It rings for a few moments, the standard dial tone, and for a moment it feels like they're all holding their breath before the call connects like someone's picking up. The speakers shriek with static, immediately filling the room with a piercing white noise that seems to be all kinds of sounds all mashed together to create one _awful_ cacophony of feedback. Todd grits his teeth, Dirk covers his ears, and it's not long before Farah reaches out to hang up the call. The silence that falls on the room leaves their ears ringing.

"What _was_ that?" Todd asks, staring at the phone like it might come to life any second. "That was-"

"I don't know," Sarah shakes her head. "It happens every time. I can call other people just fine but... someone picked up, right? Something- something _answered_ that phone."

"It- It certainly _seems_ that way," Farah agrees. "I don't- Did you go to the police at all?"

Sarah scoffs. "Yeah, they searched the whole house. They said there wasn't anything suspicious, that he's _clearly_ just left and they'll keep a look out for him but they're not- they're not _looking_ because he's a grown man who can leave without telling me if he likes. They-" she sips at her water again, trying to calm herself. "They didn't listen when I told him that Henry isn't _like_ that, he wouldn't just _do_ that, and even then, who... who _leaves_ without their clothes or their money? How on earth did he lock the door if he left his keys? They said his phone must be damaged but- but _someone picked that up_ and I don't-" her voice catches, burying her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. "He didn't leave, I _know_ he didn't, but even if he _did_ they should at least look for him and- and then I saw your advert so I thought... Why not? I’ve never- I’ve never _done_ anything like this before but it said… it said you ‘find the whole person?’ I don’t know what that means but- I need _someone_ to look for him. I don’t know how to do that.”

“Well,” Dirk smiles, probably a little more cheerful than he should be given the circumstances. “You’ve certainly come to the right place! This doesn’t even sound like the strangest case we’ve had, I’m sure we’ll be able to find your brother.”

“_Dirk_,” Farah warns, likely attempting to remind him of the conversation they’d had about promising things they don’t know if they can deliver. Dirk rolls his eyes.

“We’ll _do our best_ to find your brother,” he corrects, “although I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end! These things tend to!” 

Sarah looks from Dirk to Farah like she’s seeking reassurance, which Farah does her best to give her. “It might be a good idea if you gave us some details? I have some forms you can fill out so we know how to contact you. Dirk is…” she casts a glance over to where Dirk is already chattering excitedly to Todd. “He’s not too good with the details but, he does mean it. We’ll try our best.” 

It seems to be enough, and Sarah nods as she rummages through her bag for a pen. “Thank you,” she tells them. “I- I didn’t know what else to do.” 

“Oh, that’s alright, nobody does!” Dirk assures her. “Or, well, in general I mean. Not with the- I know what I’m doing when it comes to- I’m a _very_ good detective.” 

Todd snorts, and Dirk manages to look offended even past the wide-eyed way he’s attempting to reassure their client. “I- yeah, yeah he _is_. It’s…” he hurries to correct himself, not wanting her to worry any more than she already has. “He’s uh, unconventional? But I mean, if the cops aren’t helping that’s… probably a good thing, right?”

Farah sighs, soft but enough to be noticeable. “Maybe you two could go and start doing some research? Go and check out the address?” she asks, knowing full well it’s unlikely but wanting them out of the room anyway. Todd nods, thankful for the excuse to leave as he takes Dirk’s arm to drag him with him just in case he protests. 

“Sure! That sounds… we’ll meet you there?” He tears the piece of paper with the address on out of the notebook, and grabs Dirk’s jacket off the hook by the door before he can say anything. 

“Nice to meet you!” Dirk calls to them as Todd shoves him unceremoniously out of the door. He takes a moment once it’s closed behind them to right himself, straightening out his shirt and casting Todd a sideways glare. “Honestly Todd, is that _really_ any way to act in front of our guest?”

“If you want her to think that you’re any good at your job, then _yes_.”

For a moment Dirk just holds his glare, before he shrugs his shoulders and takes his jacket when Todd holds it out to him.

“Well, I suppose if she won’t be convinced by _words_, we’ll just have to _prove_ it won’t we?” He grins, reaching out to take Todd’s hand and pull him along like he always does. “Come on, I’ve got a _good_ feeling about this one!”

Todd doesn’t trust Dirks ‘good feelings’, but he certainly hopes he’s right. 

***

When they arrive at the house, things seem deceptively normal.

It's a standard two up two down, a little well worn and uncared for but clearly not falling into any state of disrepair. The most uncomfortable thing about it is the strange looking garden gnome perched next to the door that Todd side-eyes as they make their way up the driveway. By all accounts it's the kind of place you wouldn't even look twice at on a street like this.

Dirk stares at the house for a moment, considering, before he hums thoughtfully and declares the house, "_suspicious_."

Todd takes a break from side eyeing the gnome to side eye him instead. "What's suspicious?"

"This house," he forges ahead, leaving Todd to traipse after him with a sigh. "It looks _normal_."

Todd rolls his eyes in place of comment, knowing by now that trying to argue with Dirk on things like this will only lead them both in circles and be helpful to exactly nobody. He's relieved when Farah and Sarah appear, joining them at the door just in time to stop Dirk breaking in. Todd had watched him testing the windows, and he's rather glad he doesn't have to try and talk him out of it.

"Found anything?" Farah asks as Sarah digs out her keys.

"Not yet. I'm guessing the weirder stuff is inside?"

"Oh I do hope so!" Dirk smiles at Sarah as she unlocks the door, bouncing on his feet like an overeager puppy. "Outside has proven to be a _total_ loss."

"Well-" Sarah never manages to finish what she was going to say, if only because Dirk makes it clear he's not really listening by beelining his way into the house as soon as the door is open, Farah giving her apologies as she chases after him, trying to give some warning about walking into unknown danger without a hint of caution.

"Don't worry about him," Todd reassures her when Sarah looks at him, bewildered. "He's... Doing something. It'll make sense in the end you kind of just have to go with it."

"Is he always so..." she trails off, closing the door behind them and looking up at the ceiling where they can hear Dirk and Farah in the room above.

"Yeah," Todd agrees, offering her a small smile. "You get used to it. Eventually."

She eyes him sceptically for a moment, before drawing a breath to right herself and nodding. "Well, I don't really have many other options so I hope you're right."

Perhaps the loud thud from upstairs isn't exactly reassuring, but the excited, "_Todd_!" that follows certainly makes _him_ feel better.

Farah is waiting for them at the top of the stairs, face pinched in concern and looking a little _ill_ for lack of a better word. It's an expression he recognises, one which means she's just seen something she doesn't want to accept, and before he has chance to question it Dirk is rushing over and grabbing him by the wrist to pull him across the landing.

"You are not going to _believe_ what we just found!" He says, pulling them over to an inconspicuous looking closet set into the wall between the bedroom and the bathroom.

"It's... a closet?"

"Well, yes, _obviously_ Todd. The question isn't as to what it _is_, more as to what it's doing _here_." He grins, the expression on his face telling Todd that he's missing something entirely as he glances between Dirk and the painted wooden door.

"Because... that's where they built it? Dirk, I don't know what you're-"

"That- Where- That wasn't here before." Sarah is standing transfixed, staring at the door like she can't quite believe what she's seeing, colour draining from her face as her voice shakes with the realisation. "Where- what _is_ it?"

"Aha! Isn't that the question? You're _good_ at this, by the way. That's _exactly_ the sort of thinking we need to solve this kind of mystery! The trouble is of course, that I have absolutely _no_ idea. Any thoughts?"

"I..." She takes a step closer, appearing almost hypnotised by the presence of the door. "It- This isn't- I mean, it's... it _looks_ like..."

"It looks like what?"

Todd shouldn't have favourite things, not when it comes to the unexplainable, not when it comes to dealing with people who have exhausted all their options and have come to them in a fit of desperation, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't like watching Dirk when he'd finally hit on something. It's the first step in watching the impossible unfold in front of them, and despite his initial resistance to the lesser understood facets of the universe, there are times when he finds himself almost looking forward to them.

"There _was_ a closet here, when it was my parents house. They filled it in years ago and- there had been some kind of damp problem? We used to keep laundry in there it wasn't- it wasn't _anything_ but- how on _earth_ would that be here? You can't- you can't _undo_ that."

"Well, not _ordinarily_, no." Dirk agrees. "But I think we can all agree that whatever is going on here isn't quite congruent with what we would expect from a linear progression of space and time."

Sarah laughs, and she looks more startled by the fact that she'd made the sound at all than anything that had caused it. "Are- I'm sorry, are you saying that this is... some kind of- _time travelling closet_?"

"Well..." Dirk backtracks, just a little. "We can't really know _what_ it is without opening it, can we?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Todd asks, taking a step closer unthinkingly like he's readying himself to step between Dirk and the closet if he has to. "I mean- if we don't know what it is or where it came from it seems... we don't know _what_ could be in there!"

"Well we won't _know_ unless we _look_, will we Todd?" Dirk scoffs, like his concern is entirely unfounded. "What else do you propose we do? Just... _leave_ it there? We're here to solve a disappearance, I think a sudden _reappearance_ of a thing is a _pretty_ important clue, don't you?"

His face is doing that _thing_ where he's simultaneously smug because he knows he's right, and pleading with Todd to agree with him just for the benefit of _hearing_ he is. It is, in Todd's opinion, the most frustrating expression in the world.

"_Fine_, fine_\- maybe_ you have a point. But you can't just _open_ it without _some_ kind of back-up! It shouldn't even _be_ here, I think that's a pretty good reason to worry."

Dirk stares at him for a moment, unwilling to concede that maybe Todd _also_ has a point, before he sighs heavily. "Farah. Would you do me the great honour of defending me from this _closet door_ that Todd appears to think is going to attempt to _eat me_ or something similarly horrific?"

"Okay, I never said it was going to _eat you_ you're just-"

"Todd has a point. You don't know what's in there, I'm not so sure it's a good idea," she's been eyeing the door warily herself, holding onto her gun just in case.

"Ha! _See_? Thank you!" Todd declares, smug himself now he's got his own back up. "Opening unknown time-travelling doors? _Not_ a good idea."

"I'm _sorry_,” Dirk scoffs, affronted. “But wasn't it _you_ who, not so long ago, threw us through a bed into an _alternate dimension_?"

"Wh- I only did that after you fell down a slide and almost got us killed by a _nightmare houseI!"_

"I never _asked_ you to follow me down the slide! In fact,I _very_ specifically remember telling you _not_ to follow me. Which, as my assistant, seems to contradict the whole _point_ of being _my assistant._"

Todd narrows his eyes at that, doing his best not to raise his voice too much but suspecting it’s a fight he’s already lost. "Okay, well as your _boyfriend_, I think I'm allowed to be concerned about the possibility of you disappearing through a- _time warp door_!"

For a moment, Dirk doesn't say a word. Instead he just stares at Todd for the longest moment. He’s starting to worry he’s said something wrong before Dirk, in a voice that’s both confused and hopeful asks, "boyfriend?"

Todd feels his face flush with colour that isn't just down to their arguing, immediately fumbling over his thoughts to try and find a way to counter the fact that yes, he had just said that. "I- I mean. We don't- we don't _have_ to call it that it's just- you know. We haven't really _talked_ about it and it seems like- there are- we could call it _anything_ really I'm not- I'm not _picky_ it's just-"

He's cut off when the air around them suddenly explodes into a screaming void of white noise.

Sarah, seemingly tired of their bickering, had taken it upon herself to open the door. How she’d gotten there without _someone_ noticing Todd has no idea, but for a split second before the terror ensues, he almost feels relieved at the interruption.

When the sound hits him it feels like his insides are being turned out. It's the same noise from before, but hearing it through the phone's speakers is nothing compared to the all encompassing sound that rattles through them like it's trying to turn his brain to liquid and rattle his bones to dust. It screeches in his head, some unholy, otherworldly sound that every cell in his body seems to agree is not made for human ears. 

Todd manages to pry his eyes open, looking for the others as he tries to find his bearings, they seem to be in a similar state but he only catches a glimpse of them before his attention is pulled back to the closet, or at least, where the closet used to be.

The door is flung open, and behind it lies a gaping maw of nothing but empty, inky, _darkness._ Or perhaps, he thinks as he stares at it, every colour all at once, swirling and tumbling into and over each other and stretching on and on until he's not sure if what he's looking at is nothing or _everything_, only that his head is starting to hurt at the sight of it, and that somehow it's starting to feel less like the shrieking feedback it's giving off is no longer filling up the room around him, but coming _from_ him.

He only realises he'd been screaming when Farah pulls him back with enough force to make him stumble and look away.

"What..." he can't hear his own voice over the sound around them, Farah's mouth is moving but he can't make out her voice either and instead just lets her drag him forward, barely managing to get his feet to cooperate as they make their way down the stairs, miraculously not tripping over each other until they trip out of the door and land on the front lawn.

As soon as they get out of the house the noise stops.

Outside is just blue sky and birds, the sound of cars going by like nothing has happened. Todd can feel the grass underneath him as he pants for breath, trying to work out what the hell just happened but his head is far too scrambled to put any of it together in any way that matters.

He registers, faintly, the sound of his name being called, soft and worried as Dirk's fretting hands flitter over him like they had the first time Todd had had an attack and he hadn't known what to do. It's strangely reassuring, even if he can see the worry on Dirk's face and he can't quite work out what he's saying. Instead he finds himself staring at the house, standing there innocent as anything, like there was never anything wrong with it in the first place. It shouldn't make sense, it _doesn't_ make sense, and then- just as he's starting to think the universe will never make _any_ sense of _anything-_ the house disappears entirely.

Finally content that this is the only course of action it could have taken that _would_ in fact make sense, Todd lets himself fall back onto the grass and, despite his desire to reassure Dirk that he's absolutely _fine_, promptly passes out on the front lawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3


	2. Two

Todd wakes up to a blinding headache.

It reminds him at first of a morning after hangover, the bone deep ache and feeling that he might throw up if he opens his eyes calls back to a simpler time when his biggest worry was who's floor he'd passed out on and if they were going to make it to the next show on time. He doesn't miss it.

Eventually he pries his eyes open, finding himself staring at the familiar ceiling of his bedroom, frowning at the sight of it like he can't quite work out how it got there. He's at least conscious enough to know that this _isn't_ where he passed out.

"You're awake!" Todd jumps, turning towards the sound of Dirk's voice and wondering how he hadn't noticed he was there before. "Oh thank _heavens,_ Farah _will_ be relieved. We were going to take you to hospital if you were out much longer but you always get so angry if anyone causes a fuss so I just thought-"

"What happened?" Todd cuts him off, groaning as he pulls himself up to sit against the headboard, ignoring Dirk's wide-eyed worry. "How did- did that house _disappear_?"

"Ah, well. Yes. In theory, that would seem to be the case, but- How are you? You've... you've been asleep for _quite_ a while now and I thought- well. We were worried. About you."

This time Todd looks at him, _really_ looks, doing his best to make sense of what's going on. Dirk looks worried, more worried than he's ever really seen him and it makes something in his chest ache when he notices Dirk's eyes are red with what he can only assume is tears. His hair is a little ruffled on one side, like he'd been lying down next to him, too stubborn to leave his side no doubt, and his hands are hovering nervously like he's afraid of touching him just in case. It's not a look Todd wants to see on him.

"I'm-” he offers him a small smile that he hopes is reassuring. “I'm okay just, how long was I..."

"Four hours," Dirk interrupts, fidgeting his fingers together. "You've never- I know you don't like to _talk_ about it Todd but- it's never been that long before and if it's getting worse then I think, _maybe_, it might be a good idea to try and see someone about it?"

Todd frowns, swallowing as he tries to get rid of the dryness in his mouth. "It-" he shakes his head, thinking back on what had caused... whatever _that_ had been. Todd can't claim to be the most imaginative person in the world, but he can't even begin to understand how he'd ever explain what had happened. "It wasn't an attack it was- I mean it kind of _was_ but- didn't you see it?"

Oddly, the question seems to make Dirk look sheepish, eyes darting away to the side of the room as he clears his throat. "Well. _Yes_. Or- I _felt_ it but I didn't- I didn't _look_. It's... look. I've seen... something _like_ that before now and it wasn't- Whatever happened to you it was _different,_ it was like- I don't know. It _looked_ like a pararibulitis attack, but I don't-"

"Wait, what do you mean you've seen something like that before?" His head is still spinning, and maybe they should wait to have this conversation, but Dirk is slippery about these things at the best of times and Todd can't help but take the opportunity to pin him down when it presents itself.

"Well..." Dirk sighs, weighing up his options, clearly unsure. His fingers are still tangling around themselves in his lap and Todd's line of questioning doesn't seem to have made it any better. He reaches out to cover his hands with one of his own, and Dirk offers a soft smile as he laces their fingers together and squeezes gently. "I suppose it's... it's hard to explain, really."

"Like a disappearing house?" Todd teases, pleased when it makes Dirk relax a little.

"Perhaps. Or more like... I don't understand it myself, well, I _never_ understand any of it really but this is..." Despite Todd's attempts to hold onto him, Dirk curls in on himself a little more. It's enough to let him know that whatever it is that's bothering him it's one of those things he just _doesn't_ talk about.

"You don't have to tell me," he promises. "I just... I've seen- when we were... when I was in Wendimoor with Amanda we went... _somewhere_. It was like... looking at a map of... everything? I don't- it's hard to remember really but I just felt..."

"Small." Dirk says, finishing the sentence for him and watching his face with no small amount of wonder.

"I- yeah. I guess," he shrugs, frowning in confusion when Dirk just keeps staring. "What?"

"You- you've seen it?" he asks, soft, like he's almost afraid to speak the words. "The... the lights? The whole... _thing_? You were _there_?"

"Well, yeah? I mean, I don't know if I was _there_ like, physically? But I saw... everything was black except there were all these little... I guess they were like shooting stars? Or... something. Do you-" Todd scans Dirk's face, the expression not quite one he recognises on him but it's enough to make his stomach flip in anticipation. "Wait have _you_ been there?"

"I-" Dirk shakes his head, seemingly coming back to himself. "No. Well- not really it's just... That's- that's _it_ that's what it is! It's the whole... _thing_. The universe! And of course it doesn't make sense to you! I mean, why would it? You're not-" Todd is having trouble keeping up, and when Dirk stops abruptly in realisation he's no clearer on the situation than he had been before. "Oh," Dirk says softly. "Oh but that's... Todd, when you looked into the closet did it feel like... like an attack?"

Todd has long since learned that trying to ask his own questions when Dirk is following a path he can't begin to follow him down won't get him anywhere. Dirk will explain, eventually, when he can, and it's mostly Todd's job to stand there and look confused until he does. It doesn't mean he _likes_ it.

"Sort of?" he offers, doing his best to think back to it. "It was more like... like I was _in_ an attack. I wasn't- _it_ wasn't coming from me it was just... happening _around_ me. And then-" he meets Dirk's eyes like he's hoping to find the answer in them. "When I looked at it, it was like I _felt_ it. Like it... got inside my head and-"

"Screamed?" Dirk asks. Todd doesn't answer, but it must show on his face because Dirk just nods like it makes _sense_. "Todd I think... I think maybe the universe is trying to tell us something. Or, well. Tell _me_ something."

"Like..." he frowns, the pieces starting to click into place in a way he's not sure he wants them to. "Like whatever happened with you last night?"

"Exactly!" He smiles, pleased to have some kind of clarity, even if it seems like it will end up being more confusing in the long run. "But I _already_ get those... things. Messages. Whatever they are. I get them all the time. I have _way_ more practise than you at blocking them out and then…” he snaps his fingers, waving his hands in a way Todd knows all too well. “When you were in Wendimoor and you went to the other place, you were having an attack then, weren't you?"

"Well yeah, we both were. Amanda was the one who took us to... wherever that was."

"Right! _So_, it might _just_ be the case that whatever happens when you have a pararibulitis attack, just for a moment it gives you _just_ enough _something_ to let the universe into your head too!"

If Todd is being honest, the idea makes him feel rather sick. 

“What? No. No- that’s… are you saying my pararibulitis is a _universe_ thing?” 

“No Todd, of _course_ not,” he says, rolling his eyes like Todd has missed the point entirely. “I’m _saying_ that whatever it _is_, the universe can use it to tell you things. Like Amanda and her visions!”

“Okay,” Todd breathes, not at all liking that this might actually make some sense. The last thing he wants is _universal visions_, he has enough of a time dealing with _Dirk’s_ Holistic garbage without his _own_. “Okay but… if it’s trying to tell _you_ something then- why would it talk to _me_?”

“Oh that’s easy,” Dirk says as if it’s all obvious. “You picked up the phone. Or, well. It keeps _trying_ to call me, but I never pick up unless I _have_ to. _You_ though, when you had an attack it was like you answered the call. You just…”

“Didn’t speak the language?” 

“_Precisely_.”

Todd drops his head back against the wall, closing his eyes and doing his best ot ignore the implications of what all of that could _mean_. He doesn’t like this stuff at the best of times, he’s _seen_ the way the universe likes to mess with Dirk and he doesn’t want it getting any worse for _either_ of them. But then if Dirk is _right_ it’s not like the universe is _trying_ to connect to him, he just happened to be convenient. Todd thinks back to all the one night stands he’d had back in his band days, and wonders if that’s a running theme in his life. 

“Where’s Farah?” he asks tiredly, deciding it’s best not to dwell on all of _that_ right now. They do have a case to solve after all. 

“Oh!” Dirk seems to remember something, digging his phone out of his pocket and firing off a quick message. “She went to Sarah’s house, see if she could find anything. She- she vanished, with the house, so I don’t know exactly what she’s looking for but I suppose it can’t hurt.”

The news that Sarah had vanished too makes Todd feel uneasy. “You didn’t go with her?”

Dirk huffs softly. “You _passed out_ Todd, of _course_ I didn’t. Farah is _perfectly_ capable of conducting a thorough investigation on her own and besides-” he glances at Todd briefly, weighing up his options. “As your _boyfriend_ I think it made sense that I stayed with you.”

The word fills him with warmth, which he _wants_ to dismiss as being _stupid_, he certainly would if it were anyone else and yet… Things are different with Dirk. Todd can’t remember a single partner he’d ever had who would look as nervous as Dirk does now about using the word _boyfriend_. He can’t remember a time when he wouldn’t have scoffed at it, the thought of putting labels on things, of tying himself down to something he already knew would end badly one way or another. Dirk isn’t like that though, everything with him is different, _new_ in ways Todd didn’t know he’d ever be able to feel. The blush creeping its way up his cheeks, the way he’s carefully avoiding Todd’s gaze, it’s _sweet_. It’s adorable, in fact. Enough to set butterflies off in his own stomach, and for some reason, this time, Todd finds he doesn’t hate the feeling. 

“I didn’t-” he starts, soft and trying to think over his words. “I- Is that… is that what you want?” And now _he_ feels nervous. A lifetime of apathy over his relationships working out hadn’t prepared him for dealing with one he so desperately wants to make work. Then again, it’s not like Dirk is doing much better, and Todd hasn’t seen anything stand up to a determined Dirk Gently and win yet. Between them he thinks there’s hope that they can hold onto this. 

“Well, yes. Obviously. I mean- I don’t _mind_ exactly, if you want to use a different word but…” he sighs, settling back against the wall next to him. “We’ve been doing this for… a _while_ now and I suppose… It would be nice, wouldn’t it? To have a word? I’ve never really-” Dirk swallows nervously. “I’ve never done this before, and as long as things don’t- as long as we can _keep_ doing this I don’t mind what we call it, it would just be nice to call it _something_.”

It’s been five months, and Todd wonders how long Dirk has been thinking about this. He clearly _has_, he’s not good at hiding his feelings and he can hear it in his voice that this is something that _matters_ to him. Todd can’t quite bear the thought that he’d been thinking it might not be a permanent thing. 

“Hey,” he reaches out to take his hand, waiting for Dirk to look at him. When he does he looks almost shy, if not hopeful, and Todd finds himself smiling softly. “I’m good with boyfriends,” he promises, smile turning into something teasing for a moment. “It’s better than any other ridiculous title you’ve given me so far.” 

For a split second Dirk’s smile takes over his face, the relief and utter _joy_ in the expression might be too much for Todd’s heart to handle, but he still finds himself smiling when Dirk tries to play it off like it was nothing. 

“I think ‘tea-bringer’ suited you,” he sniffs, not quite pulling it off when he leans into Todd’s side all the same. 

“You’re lucky I love you,” he says, knowing Dirk likely doesn’t need the reminder but happy to give it all the same. Todd smiles when he hums his acknowledgement. “Any idea what we do next?”

“Wait, I suppose. There’s not much else we _can_ do until something else pops up.” He sounds tired of it already, and it’s not the first time Todd has wondered if Dirk has ever tried to blatantly ignore what the universe wants him to do. He doesn’t ask. 

“You think it’s gonna be bad?” Is what he tries instead, even if he knows there’s no way to know what’s coming.

“Isn’t it always?” It’s a little bitter, but he shakes himself out of it soon enough, sitting up properly and turning to smile at Todd. “In the meantime however, _you_ need to take your pills and rest. So I suppose that means _I_ will be making dinner.”

“You will be _ordering_ dinner,” Todd corrects. “The last thing we need is the building burning down around us.”

Dirk has the good grace to look offended, before conceding that Todd is probably right. 

“Pizza?” he offers, pressing a kiss to Todd’s cheek before clambering off the bed without waiting for an answer. “I’ll get some for Farah too, she’ll be back soon.”

“Sure.” He doesn’t feel hungry, but he probably should eat. There’s a sick feeling in his stomach that he can’t quite shake off, the memory of earlier echoing in his mind like a vulture circling above his head. 

Todd watches Dirk trip over his own shoes on his way out of the bedroom, and wonders if maybe the universe might cut them a break this time. He doubts it. 

***

It takes two days for them to find any leads. Between multiple empty cups of tea, Todd's trawling the deepest internet forums he can find, and Farah calling up every person she can find who might be able to offer some insight, it's safe to say the search is slow going.

Dirk has spent most of his time trying his best to work out what could cause an entire house to disappear, and resolutely ignoring the niggling feeling of _wrongwrongwrong_ that's starting to claw away at the back of his mind. The good news is that neither he nor Todd have woken up screaming due to the universe's attempts to contact them again, but the bad news is that Dirk can feel it anyway. The slow climb up a rollercoaster before the steep drop off the edge, the knowledge that there's _something_ wrong even though he's unable to work out _what_. He knows he might be able to work it out if he focused, if he _listened,_ but the truth is... the truth is he doesn't _want_ to listen. The truth is that whatever is wrong with the universe, he'd rather it was somebody else's problem for once, the truth _is_, that no matter how much experience he may have in dealing with these things, he's taken a peek behind the curtain before and it _scares_ him. He'd give just about anything to not have to look again, and so instead of doing his best to pay attention to the growing unease he can feel making its way through him, he does his best to pretend it has nothing to do with the case at hand, and shoves it away to a place where he can continue to ignore it until it explodes rather fantastically in his face.

He never said it was a good plan.

"I think I've found something," Todd speaks up eventually, hair ruffled on one side where he's been running his fingers through it absent-mindedly. "It's... I mean, it's _crazy_ stuff. Everything on here is but-" he sighs, turning the screen around to face them. "This guy says there was an entire street near him that went missing yesterday."

"That certainly _sounds_ odd," Dirk agrees, leaning forward in his chair, more than happy to have _something_ to distract him from his ever-growing headache.

"Yesterday?" Farah frowns. "That's... is it nearby?"

"Yeah, like half an hour. He says nobody else remembers it."

"That would explain why we haven't heard anything about it," Dirk agrees. "Missing person, missing house, missing _street_. Whatever is going on that certainly seems like a worrying pattern, don't you think?"

Farah doesn't look happy with the turn of events, and Todd doesn't think he can blame her. Eventually she sighs, reaching for her keys. "I suppose it's worth checking out, but-" she points between them with a warning finger, "-no opening interdimensional closets this time, okay?"

"It was an accident!" Dirk protests, bouncing on his toes as he pulls on his jacket, finally happy to have something to do. "I didn't even _open_ it, neither did Todd. Although I can't say _looking_ at it seems advisable either."

Todd offers him a small smile, because he knows Dirk is still worried about potential after effects if nothing else. He's not felt much different since he woke up though, and he's not sure how much of a good thing that is.

"I'm not in any rush to do that again," he promises, taking Dirk's hand when he holds it out for him and letting himself be pulled along down the stairs in a manner he's grown rather more familiar with once Dirk had learned hand-holding was a thing and that Todd couldn't really get out of it.

"Wonderful!" he leans over to steal a kiss from Todd, clearly pleased with the answer. "That's settled then." Dirk beams, reaching for the passenger side door as Farah climbs into the drivers seat. Todd glares at him, seeing the distraction tactic for what it was and ignoring the look of innocence plastered all over Dirk's face before climbing into the back.

"You're a menace," he tells him, even though he doesn't really have it in him to be _that_ bothered.

"I'm a _detective,"_ comes the ever so predictable response. Todd just rolls his eyes as Farah starts up the car 

"Put your seatbelt on," he says, instead of what he means, but he catches Dirk's pleased smile in the wing mirror anyway and realises he already knows.

***

It's rather strange, Todd thinks, to be looking at a place that doesn't exist.

Farah had managed to track the man from the forums down, and she's currently talking it over with him at the end of what looks like a normal street. There's something _odd_, even Todd can feel that, but people are going past like always, with babies and dogs and bikes, and nobody here seems to find the situation strange. Todd is having a hard time wrapping his head around the idea that a whole street could up and vanish, but Dirk seems more than happy to explore. He's been wandering round in what seems like haphazard circles for at least ten minutes, occasionally looking at things and jumping up and down on patches of grass like he's testing their existence, Todd is starting to get dizzy watching him.

"So," Farah says as she joins him. "David is crazy."

Todd laughs, watching fondly as Dirk scratches at the paint on the electrical box for a moment. "Yeah well, I did find him on a forum for governmental conspiracies. It's not exactly a glowing endorsement of his mental stability."

"I know, I just-" she sighs, folding her arms over her chest. "I don't think he's _lying_. Not about this. But if he isn't... an entire street's worth of people? That's... We don't even know where they _are_, how are we going to find them?"

"We'll..." Todd swallows. There's a buzzing in the background of this place, a sharp white noise that doesn't disappear when he shakes his head. It's making him uneasy. "We've found people before, right? I mean- Dirk... has his thing? We'll find _something_. They've gotta... there's got to be a _reason_ they're disappearing."

"And what then?" She asks, clearly frustrated. "What happens when we find out why? What happens when we find out what's doing this? Because so far _nobody_ has had a good reason to take people and David thinks it's _aliens_ and I can handle a lot of things Todd but aliens? I really don't know what to do with that."

He wonders if whatever it is that's setting him on edge is getting to Farah too. No matter how many people may be going by, it's not escaped his notice that they're all avoiding this place, in fact it's almost like they can't see it. Todd feels the need to look away, he can feel himself straining to keep his focus on the empty patch of land, he's not quite sure how Dirk is managing to stay _on_ it for so long, but then he wonders if it has something to do with what he said the other night, practice at pushing these things away. They still need to talk about that. They need to talk about a lot.

"If- _if_ it's aliens, we'll just have to... deal with it? I guess? I mean... do we even know the street was here? He could be making it up, right? We haven't even looked at a map."

"This whole _place_ feels weird, Todd." And okay, that settles that. "We should go. I don't like it. It's not-" she cuts herself off. "I don't know. It's... _strange_. We can look at maps when we get back but I don't want to stay here any longer than we have to."

Todd agrees, even if he doesn't tell her that. He's starting to feel itchy, _antsy,_ like they've been here too long and whatever it is that had taken the street is showing them the door. He picks at his nails as he watches Dirk, wondering if he should call out to him, when Dirk beats him to it.

"I found something!" He's holding something in the air, and it only takes a moment before he's running back to them with all the excitement of a dog fetching a ball. “It’s a note!”

“A… note?” Todd asks as soon as he’s close enough, more relieved than he wants to admit that Dirk is back with them. “What, like a ransom note?”

“No, _stranger_ than that.” He holds out a piece of paper, crumpled and weather beaten. “It’s the _only_ thing I could find, which seems a little odd seeing as there was a whole street here.”

“What-” Farah says, confused as she turns the paper over in her hands. “That’s… I don’t recognise that language.”

Todd takes the paper from her, frowning at the blocks spaced out on the page. “It looks like some kind of puzzle?”

“_No_,” Dirk tuts, taking it from them and turning it around. “Look!” He holds the paper up to the sun, and Todd has to squint his eyes to see it, but once he does it’s enough to make his stomach drop.

The blocks on the page spell out a very clear message, but that doesn’t get them any closer to understanding what it _means_. 

HELP. 

“Help _who_?” Farah asks, taking the paper back from him and turning it over. 

“_Very_ good question Farah! They don’t seem to say.”

Dirk, Todd realises, has that one very particular look he gets when something is starting to ping on his radar. It’s a look Todd knows means two things, one being that Dirk is no longer going to be able to let this go, if he ever could in the first place. And two being that no matter _what_ this is, it’s about to get a whole lot weirder. 

Todd has _never_ liked weirder, but as he looks out over the street that isn’t, he has a sinking feeling that this time things really aren’t going to be good. 

***

It only becomes more obvious when they’re huddled around Farah’s laptop that he was right. 

The map they’re looking at shows, very clearly, that Primrose Avenue did in fact exist. There are articles that mention it, city planning for improvements to the area, a goddamn _street view_ taken from right where they’d been stood that afternoon, and it exists. 

Except that right now it doesn’t. Or it exists somewhere else. Honestly he’s not sure it makes much difference when it’s categorically _not there_ and nobody aside from one weirdo on the internet seems to recall that it was. 

Todd thinks he could use several stiff drinks in a row, or at least a coffee. 

“Do you think the note was some kind of… joke?” Farah asks, sounding just about as done with this whole situation as he is, which is something of a relief. 

“I don’t _think_ so,” Dirk hums. “It looks like… well. It’s _strange_, but then a lot of things are strange. It seems more…” he trails off, staring into the middle distance like he’s suddenly remembered he’d left the oven on. Only Todd hadn’t made breakfast this morning, and Dirk has been banned from using the oven.

“Dirk?” He prompts softly when it doesn’t look like they’re going to get a reply. 

“Hm? Oh! Yes. It’s… I don’t think it’s a joke,” he says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Probably just a clue. Maybe even an _accident_, but-” he swallows, and Todd narrows his eyes suspiciously. He knows Dirk too well to not notice when something is going on with him, and more than that Dirk is _very_ bad at pretending nothing is happening. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment I’ve just got to-” 

What exactly he’s got to do they never find out, because a few seconds later the door shuts behind him and Dirk is gone. 

Todd and Farah watch in silence. 

“That was… should we go after him?” Farah asks after a moment. Todd shakes his head with a sigh. 

“He’s been doing this a lot lately. He’ll be upstairs.”

“Doing… what, exactly?” She sounds concerned, and as much as Todd doesn’t want to dump things on her it feels almost like a relief that she’d asked. 

“Just…” he swallows, shaking his head. “Stopping. In the middle of things and… I usually find him making tea in the kitchen, but it’s like he sort of… goes away. For a minute. Like- you’ve seen it, right? When he-” he’s not sure how to explain it, the moment that Dirk realises something, like he’s heard something nobody else can hear and will drop everything to follow it even if he tries to stay put. “Well. It’s like when he… does _that_, case thing. Only he just kind of- he’s not _going_ anywhere with it, you know? It’s not like he has to follow something or whatever he just- stops. And then he makes tea. And then he’ll sit there for a while looking kind of… lost. I guess.”

Farah frowns, tilting her head at him. He wonders if he looks as tired as he feels in the moment. “Have you talked to him about it?”

“I-” Todd shrugs, part guilt and part exhaustion. “I don’t want to- overstep? I don’t know if it’s a universe thing or a _him_ thing. I asked him about it the other day but… he just said everything was fine and I worry too much. I can’t _make_ him talk to me. It might not be anything.”

“That was _something_.” She points out. “And- look, I know you’re… _dating_? Is that- you’re _together_. I don’t think you _can_ overstep. Not when you’re just asking.”

“There’s a _lot_ of things he doesn’t want to talk about.” 

She smiles softly, shaking her head. “_None_ of us _like_ talking about things, Todd. But if you’re worried… tell him. It’s not the end of the world.”

Todd makes a non-committal sound, knowing she’s right but not quite willing to admit it. He’d never been a good boyfriend before, although to be fair he’d never really had a good relationship before, and this is one he desperately wants to get right. It’s still a learning curve though, and he knows somewhere deep down that he’s not the only one learning. 

“If it _is_ something to do with the case though, it might be worth finding out _what_. The last thing we need with whole _streets_ disappearing is having Dirk out of commission.”

“Alright,” he sighs, like he wasn’t already convinced. “Alright I’ll talk to him.”

“Good,” Farah smiles, closing her laptop with a soft click. “I’ll lock up here. Let me know how it goes. 

He smiles back, reassured already. It’s nice to have people around him who have his back, he thinks. It’s nice that they’re all in this together. 

“Sure. Just… don’t work too long, okay?” 

She shoots him a fond, half hearted glare that he finds himself smiling at before she even speaks. “Good_night_, Todd.”

“Night Farah,” he offers, closing the door softly behind him. The stairs up to the flat above seem to look like they climb higher than usual, but Todd knows it’s just because it’s likely the night ahead of them is going to be long. 

He takes a breath anyway, and hopes that he actually finds Dirk where he thinks he is. Otherwise he’s all out of ideas, and he won’t know what to do then. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3


	3. Three.

Todd finds Dirk in the kitchen, clutching a cup of tea to his chest and staring into space. It’s not exactly reassuring, but he’s relieved at least to have been able to find him so easily, if Dirk had gone running off all over the place there’s no way Todd would be able to track him down. 

“Hey,” he offers softly, trying not to startle him. It doesn’t seem to make much of a difference though, when Dirk just keeps staring like he hasn’t heard him at all. It’s not good, he knows that much, and Todd swallows down his worry as best he can as he leans against the counter opposite. “You okay?”

There’s a long silence before Dirk finally speaks, the kind that drags on full of tension, the kind that Todd doesn’t know how to fill on his own. And then- 

“Mona’s stuck.” Dirk doesn’t move, still staring into space like he’s not quite here. The words make Todd frown though, the last time he’d managed to keep track of Mona she was an alarm clock on the shelf in the bedroom. She’d since disappeared, but Dirk seems to be able to find her wherever she is, and if Todd is completely honest he finds more comfort in pretending there isn’t a shapeshifter living in his flat that he barely knows. It’s one of those things he’s just had to accept and move on from for the sake of his own sanity. 

“What-” he looks around the room, trying to work out which of the objects he can see is actually a person, and coming up blank. “What do you mean she’s stuck?”

“She can’t get back, she’s-” Dirk swallows then, finally turning to look at Todd. His eyes are distant, like he’s looking _through_ him, but there’s some spark of recognition there and Dirk is at least _conscious_ and talking to him so he’ll take it. “She’s _stuck_. Like it won’t- it won’t _let_ her change and she’s- she’s _scared,_ I can _feel_ it.”

This is so far out of his realm of understanding Todd realises pretty quickly that he’s going to have to just go with it. There’s a lot about the universe, or at least the way Dirk experiences it, that he’s starting to at least grow familiar with, but it’s safe to say that this really isn’t one of them. From the look on his face it doesn’t seem like Dirk is either. 

"Feel it?" he asks, doing his best to make some sense of the situation. "Like... like a hunch?"

Dirk shakes his head, holding the mug out in front of him and Todd realises abruptly that he isn't holding a cup of tea at all. It would appear that the mug _is_ Mona, which would make some sort of sense since Todd doesn't think he's seen this particular one before. She's a lovely shade of greeny-blue, and even if he finds it a little difficult to reconcile that she's a person, he can tell from the way Dirk is holding her so carefully that he's worried.

"She's stuck like this," he says softly, coming back to himself a little as he looks down at her. "I've been talking to her but... I don't know if she can hear me. I can just- I _know_ her. I know when she's scared and she's- I don't understand what's _keeping_ her there."

If Dirk doesn't understand, Todd understands even less, but he still takes the mug- _Mona-_ from him, turning her over delicately in his hands. "How do you know she's stuck? Maybe she just... likes this one?"

"No. I- I asked her to change because..." and now Dirk looks _shifty_, eyes darting away in a manner Todd is familiar with, one that means Dirk has done something he thinks he shouldn't have. "Things have been _strange_ lately and- and it's not like I didn't _tell_ you because I _did_, even if it's only when it was obvious or because it seemed necessary but that's _hardly_ the point! The point _is_ that... maybe... maybe things are a bit, well, _more_ not good than I may have led you to believe." He looks back at Todd, wide-eyed and worried this time, stumbling over his words in his haste to get them out before Todd makes any decisions about what he's saying that Dirk doesn't want him to make. "It's not because I don't trust you! It's just that... I didn't want you to _worry_, and I know you worry, and I know it's bad for you, _worse_ for you now because- well. You don't _need_ the extra stress and I suppose I was hoping that it would just... go away. But it isn't going away, it's just getting _worse_, and now other things are going away or being taken or... _whatever_ is happening and I don't know what to do because I can't-" Todd doesn't know when Dirk got so close to tears, but Todd thinks he's more worried now than he would have been if Dirk had just told him there was something wrong in the first place. "I don't know what it _wants_."

There's a lot to take in, a lot Todd doesn't really know _how_ to take in, but his immediate concern right now is that Dirk looks _more_ than a little distressed by whatever this is and he isn't about to let that carry on. He sets Mona down gently, moving to take hold of Dirk's arms, trying to keep himself steady as he looks him in the eye.

"Hey," he says softly, trying to catch Dirk's gaze and get him to look at him. "_Hey_ it's not- you're okay, right? You're not- you're not hurt or..." he's upset, but there's nothing else Todd can immediately see to suggest something else is wrong. "It's not- done anything? I don't..." he huffs out a soft laugh, "I don't know if it _can_ so- I might need you to help me out here."

Dirk meets his gaze then, sheepish and uncertain but looking more like himself and that's something at least. Todd can work with that.

"I don't know if it can either," he admits. The words sounding watery and tired as his shoulders slump, relying a little more on Todd and the counter to hold him up between them. "I suppose I just... I don't know what's happening, I just know that it's bad, and I've... I've known it was bad for a _long_ time now. Or at least... usually it's more like little bits here and there, little _ideas_ or feelings or just... _knowing_, like flashes, they never last. But lately it's been getting faster, _stronger_, and I don't- I _wanted_ to tell you but I didn't know _how_ when it doesn't make any _sense_. And now Mona is stuck, and she's _scared,_ and I guess I just- I got scared too."

Todd sighs softly at the explanation, reaching up to cup Dirk's cheek and wipe away some of his tears with his thumb. "You know nothing about this makes sense to me, right?" he asks, absolutely determined to keep it light against the worry clawing in his chest. "Like, I can't think of a single weird universe thing that's happened that's ever made sense to me. And that's... you know, it's fine. It's just... you see things differently to me, to _anyone,_ and it doesn't have to make sense to me if it makes sense to you because-" he shrugs, offering him a little smile. "I trust you. Maybe not with the coffee machine, but I'll... I trust you to know what you know even if you don't know why you know it. That's... how this whole thing works, right?"

Dirk nods, looking for all the world like he's going to burst into tears all over again if Todd gives him chance. "So... whatever this is, whatever's _wrong._ You're not- you were never doing it alone, you know? But Dirk, you _have_ to tell us because we- me and Farah we don't _know_ the things you know. We can't know if something's wrong. And, okay, maybe the entire missing street thing is a _pretty_ big giveaway but... that's different. You know it is."

"I-" Dirk sniffs, smiling uncertainly at that. "Sometimes I just want it to leave me alone."

And god, isn't that the worst thing? The biggest reminder Todd has that no matter what the problem is, when it comes to things on a universal level there's absolutely _nothing_ he can do about it to help Dirk out. Todd doesn't like not being able to help, he likes it even less when his boyfriend is crying about it, and he searches desperately for a way to make it better.

"Okay." Because there's nothing else to say to that, no real way to reassure him. "Okay so. Something is wrong, yeah?"

"_Very_ wrong." Dirk agrees, glancing at where Mona is still resting on the countertop. "And yet I don't have the _first_ idea what."

"So," Todd summons up all of the false bravado he has, pretending like it's nothing. "Let's figure it out."

Dirk frowns, narrowing his eyes in a way Todd knows means he's said the right thing. Sometimes Dirk needs nudging into things, and sometimes he just needs _pushing_. If Todd can make this seem like something they can do, despite his own reservations, his own certainty might be enough to spark some in Dirk after all. It's worked before, and he can only hope it will work again now.

"We can't just _figure it out_ Todd. Something is wrong on a _universal_ level. It's not like... riding a bike."

"Why not?"

"What?"

Todd shrugs, folding his arms over his chest now he has Dirk's attention, refusing to back down. "I mean... it's your whole _thing_ right? You're a detective. The universe is giving you clues. Figuring it out is _literally_ what you do. Why is this any different?"

He's got him, he knows he has, because any question that makes Dirk scoff like that but takes longer than a minute to answer is one that's gotten him thinking. Todd feels oddly proud of himself when Dirk side-eyes him a minute later.

"It won't be _easy_." He pushes back, testing Todd's resolve. "The universe is a mess at the best of times and this is _certainly_ not that."

"When have you _ever_ done _anything_ the easy way?" He can't help but laugh, pleased when it makes Dirk huff and roll his eyes, the beginnings of a smile pulling at his lips.

"Well. I don't usually have a choice in the matter."

It makes him soften, just a little, leaning in to steal a quick kiss from him which is apparently enough to leave Dirk looking faintly startled when Todd pulls back. "I don't know if you really have one now. I mean, it sounds to me like it's gonna keep getting worse until you do something. So... I guess it's up to you but, if you do something now rather than later, that's kind of like _making_ a choice, right?"

There's a way Dirk looks at him sometimes that Todd never quite knows what to do with, it's soft and wonderous, awe-filled like he can't quite believe what he's seeing. Todd feels his cheeks heat up under the weight of it, looking away and clearing his throat. "I'm just saying-"

"No," Dirk interrupts, shaking his head and cupping Todd's face in his hands before he can curl in on himself. "No that's-" Dirk laughs, "you're _wonderful_, you know that?"

He rolls his eyes, because it's all he can think to do. "I just- you're the one who told me you should choose your moves or whatever.”

“Oh shush,” he insists, pulling Todd into a kiss that doesn’t last _nearly_ long enough in Todd’s opinion. “Come on, we have some investigating to do!” The abrupt change doesn’t really surprise him, but it does mean he’s a little bewildered as Dirk takes his hand to pull him along. “Wh- now? Dirk it’s like, nearly nine.”

“No time like the present!” He insists, and Todd may briefly regret having pep-talked him now instead of waiting until the morning. “Besides, we need to go back to the first house. Or- the space where the first house _used_ to be. I have a _feeling_.”

“A _good_ feeling?” Todd asks warily, knowing all too well that the manic grin on Dirk’s face could mean any number of things. 

“I don’t know yet. It’s _certainly_ a feeling though, and besides, goodness and badness is all entirely relative really. If someone loses ten pounds and I find it we’d both have rather different perspectives on the situation.”

“And what? You think you’re gonna find something?” Todd locks the door behind them, following Dirk down the stairs as he heads out, used to keeping up with him by now. 

“Well I don’t know about that, but it’s worth a look isn’t it?” 

Todd isn't so sure, he’s certainly in no rush to go back there given what had happened last time, but he has Farah on speed dial and it’s not too far all things considered. He sighs as he shoves his hands in his pockets and decides if it gets them one step closer to solving whatever this is he’ll take it. He was the one who’d talked Dirk into this anyway. 

Dirk just smiles at him, looping his arm through Todd’s without asking and seemingly happy enough to fall into step with him rather than rushing ahead.

“I’ll buy you coffee on the way back.” 

It’s a promise he can’t possibly keep when Todd knows full well Dirk’s wallet is on the coffee table at home, but it’s just enough to pull a smile to his face. 

“Alright. But this better be good.”

“It will definitely be _something_,” Dirk promises, pressing a pleased kiss to Todd’s cheek. “I’m sure of it.”

*** 

The plot where Sarah had disappeared is standing just as empty as it had the last time they’d been there. It’s unnerving, the palpable aura of _absence_ that permeates the air, it doesn’t seem to be bothering Dirk but Todd feels like he can _taste_ it. Whatever happened here doesn’t make any sense, not to him at least, and if he closes his eyes for too long he can still hear the screeching emptiness that had tried to pull him in. He wonders where he’d be if it had managed it, wonders where Sarah is now. Where _all_ of the people who’d gone had ended up. 

He has a feeling that Dirk understands more about the situation than he’s letting on. It could just be that he doesn’t know how to explain it to him, or that he wants to be sure before he says anything, or just that Todd is being paranoid and Dirk knows nothing at all, but he can’t shake the feeling as he watches him pace the perimeter from the sidewalk. Todd wouldn’t know what to do about it if he did know for certain that Dirk knew something, or felt something, or _whatever_ his hunches are. There’s no way he’d want to straight up interrogate him, but just being here fills Todd with a rushing sense of unease that he can’t quite put his finger on. Dirk _must_ feel it too. 

“Did you find anything?” He calls, anxious to not spend any more time here than they absolutely need to. He looks over his shoulder into the darkness of the street, nobody appears to have even noticed that they’re here and it doesn’t make him feel any better. 

“I don’t know.” Dirk’s voice rings with uncertainty, scanning the area in front of him with a frown. “You’d think there’d be… _something_, wouldn’t you? I mean-” he huffs, kicking at the grass. “It’s like- It wanted me to be here. I _know_ it wanted me to be here but now I’m here’s it’s just… _nothing_. Like when you walk into a room and forget what you were there for! Only I didn’t know what I was here for in the first place _to_ forget it so that’s not really _fair_. Not that any of this is fair. I suppose… does anything here strike you as odd? _Unusual_? Somewhat out of the ordinary?”

He turns to Todd, eyebrows raised expectantly, and all Todd can do is shrug. “You mean other than the missing house?”

“Well _yes_ Todd,” he rolls his eyes, “obviously the _missing house_ is at odds with what we might expect. I just meant… other than that. I didn’t get dragged all the way out here for nothing!” 

“It’s like, a twenty minute walk.”

“Which is twenty minutes _more_ than I would have had to walk if it had let me stay home.” He shoots a scathing look at the sky like there’s someone there to receive it, and shoves his hands into his jacket pockets. “There’s always _something,_ even if-”

Todd is too busy trying to ignore the rushing sense of _wrong_ that rushes through him like a wave to notice that Dirk has stopped talking at first. It doesn’t take him long though, frowning when he looks over to see him staring into nothing again, eyes glossed over like he’s not really here. It makes something in his stomach drop uncomfortably and his voice sounds strange to his own ears when he swallows and asks. 

“Dirk?” 

He doesn’t get a response, and it’s too much like earlier but too different at the same time because this time whatever is wrong is something he can _feel_ and if _he_ can feel it then Dirk must-

“Thirty seven.” It sounds oddly hollow, like Dirk isn’t even the one talking. Todd finds himself almost scared to touch him. 

“What? Dirk, that doesn’t-” 

“Fourteen.”

Todd thinks he liked it better when Dirk wasn’t talking, and he finds himself hovering nervously at his side, not quite touching but reaching for him like he’s ready to catch him if he needs to. 

“Three hundred and sixty.”

“Okay, _okay_ Dirk you’re freaking me out now. Can we just-”

“One hundred and fifteen.” 

Todd finds his mouth tastes sour, and he pulls out is phone to call Farah even though he doesn’t know what he’ll even tell her. “I don’t- I need you to _talk_ to me Dirk. I don’t know what this is but I don’t think-”

“Forty eight. Twenty three.”

“Shit. Okay this isn’t- I’m gonna call Farah and see if she can-”

“Ninety nine.” It’s the last thing he says before his eyes roll back into his head and Todd finds himself having to catch him after all. He only just manages, and in the end they both go down, Todd sitting on the grass with Dirk sprawled in his lap, eyes flickering wildly behind his closed eyelids. Of all the things Todd thinks he knows how to handle this isn’t one of them.

“Fuck. Fuck, Dirk can you-” he’s interrupted by the ringing of his phone, scrambling to pull it out of the grass where he’d dropped it as they fell. The caller ID reads Amanda, and the unsettling feeling in his stomach intensifies. 

“Amanda-”

“Todd! Oh thank _fuck_. Something- something really _weird_ just happened and I don’t-” she sounds upset, worried, and it claws at his heart like it always does with the immediate need to _do something_. “Is Dirk there?”

“Uh,” Todd looks down at Dirk who still seems to be in some kind of state of fitful rest. He’s breathing, and he doesn’t seem to be too injured, but that’s about all he has to feel hopeful about right now. “Yeah but he’s… wait, something weird? Like-” he swallows nervously, unsure if he wants to know the answer. “Dirk just… something happened here too. He’s out. Passed out. I caught him but… I don’t know what it was he just started-”

“With the numbers thing?”

“I- yeah. The- you too?” This is not good. Amanda doesn’t sound reassured by the fact that it had happened to both of them, and Todd certainly doesn’t feel it. 

“Yeah. Shit man, the boys just- I don’t know. They’ve been weird lately anyway and now this is just- Dirk as well? Like, does that mean it’s some kind of holistic… _thing_? Like, all of them?”

“I don’t know.” His mouth feels dry, his head is spinning, every second that Dirk doesn’t wake up threatens to tip him over into a panic attack which will probably tip him into a _pararibulitis_ attack and none of it is conducive to trying to figure out what the fuck just _happened_ if it wasn’t just them. “I don’t _know_. This whole week has been… Dirk’s been off for a while now, some kind of universe thing, he had a nightmare or… something the other day and now- now people are disappearing, fucking… a whole _street_ disappeared and I’m pretty sure I stared into some sort of… black hole- universe stuff the other day? And I just don’t-”

“Todd?” Dirk’s voice pulls him out of whatever spiral he was starting down, jumping at the sound as he looks down to find Dirk staring hazily up at him. “Why are we on the floor?”

“Okay, okay he’s woken up I’m guessing that’s good?” he tells Amanda, smiling at Dirk in a way he hopes is reassuring but doubts actually is. 

“I- Yeah. The guys… Martin and Cross woke up pretty quickly but Gripps and Vogel were out longer. They’re doing a… thing? I don’t know. Some kind of energy shit that they do. I think- this isn’t normal, right? This isn’t a thing that’s happened with you before?”

Dirk is blinking up at him, the haziness starting to clear from his eyes even if it’s being replaced by the slow drip of confusion. Todd runs his fingers through his hair gently, hoping it helps keep him calm. 

“No. Nothing like this. I don’t-” the thought makes him nervous, because their relationship is far better than it was but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still strained at times. He’s not sure how to ask. “Do you- Do you think that maybe it might be a good idea for you to… pay a visit? Not- just because… I don’t know what just happened but if it happened with you too it might be… good? I don’t know. Obviously not if you’re too far or if you don’t want to I just- it might be a good idea. I guess.” He winces at his own inability to forward a straight question, but the last thing he wants to do is upset her and he doesn’t even know if he has a right to ask. 

“I- yeah. Okay. You might be… I’ll talk to the boys, see how easy it’ll be but I guess we should pool our resources. In case of something bad.”

It’s a relief, not just because she hadn’t shot him down but the thought of having more to go off than what they have right now gives him a spark of hope that they might actually _get_ somewhere. 

“Okay! Okay that’s… good. Cool. It’ll… it might make stuff easier I guess? I can- you can let Farah know or something? Even if you can’t make it we’ll keep you updated I just… you’re good, right? Other than this?”

She sighs, but it’s nothing too harsh. It still stings. “Yeah. I’m good. Everything is good. Tell Dirk I said hi, I’ll let you know about coming over. I...” he hears the pause as she decides what she wants to say. “I hope nothing too bad happens and uh, y’know. Stay safe.”

It’s enough, _more_ than enough, and he finds himself smiling fondly the same way he does every time he realises that rebuilding their relationship really _does_ mean rebuilding. Even if it looks different in the end there’s still things there they can recognise. 

“Yeah. You too. I should- I should probably go, make sure Dirk is- y’know. It’s late.”

“Sure. We probably need to move anyway. Just- keep me updated yeah? I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

Dirk pulls himself up slowly, groaning as he holds his head in his hands for a moment, and Todd forces himself to push down his worry until he’s at least finished the phone call. 

“Sounds good,” he agrees. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Night Todd.” 

She hangs up quickly, always has, and usually the silence leaves him feeling a wave of guilt but right now he has more important things to focus on, tossing the phone aside in favour of looking after Dirk. 

“Hey, you okay? Sorry I was- Amanda. Whatever happened with you uh, happened with the Rowdy Three? I don’t… I don’t know if that even makes sense but- shit. Nevermind. How are you?”

“I feel like I’ve been stuck in a blender,” Dirk says, wincing as he pulls his hands away from his eyes to look at Todd. “I didn’t enjoy it.”

Todd’s frown deepens, moving instinctively to press the back of his hand against Dirk’s head like all of this could be explained away by a fever. “I don’t… I mean, do you- What happened?”

“I haven’t the first idea,” Dirk sighs. “I heard a noise, or, well, more of a _screech_ really and then… I was on the floor. With you.”

“You don’t-” and how he’s supposed to explain what just happened to Dirk he doesn’t have the first idea. “You don’t remember any of it? With the… numbers?”

“_Numbers_?” Dirk asks in that voice that means he thinks Todd is being ridiculous. “No Todd, I don’t recall there being any- wait, what do you mean there were numbers? _What_ numbers?”

“I- I don’t know you just… You checked out and then you said a bunch of random numbers. Fourteen, twenty three or some shit, and then, y’know. You passed out and Amanda called me.”

“Todd,” Dirk starts slowly. “Are you telling me I said some numbers which, seems rather suspect to me, particularly given where we are, and you _didn’t write them down?_” He sounds almost insulted as if Todd’s incompetence could cost them everything, and with everything that had just happened it’s enough to push him over the edge. 

“Are you _joking_?” he asks, incensed. “Are you- No. _No_ that’s- jesus _christ_ Dirk you scared the _shit_ out of me! You went completely fucking dead-eyed out of _nowhere_ and started repeating random numbers and you-” Todd scrambles to his feet, clearly feeling that sitting down doesn’t quite give him as much shouting power as he’d like. “_You_ expect me to what? Record it? Get a notepad and write it down instead of _freaking the fuck out_ over the fact that you just got fucking… _possessed_ or some shit? That’s _bullshit!_”

Of all the things he could choose to do in that moment Dirk rolls his eyes, pulling himself to his feet as well, grimacing as he does so. “_You_ were the one who told me I should be detecting! I can’t work things out if you’re not even writing down clues! The numbers could be important, and now we’ll never know!”

“The numbers?” Todd takes a step forwards, anger written all over hs face even if it is tinged with worry. “The fucking- _screw_ the numbers Dirk, _you’re_ important!”

Dirk tilts his head like that particular line of thought hadn’t occurred to him and it manages to both infuriate Todd and break his heart all at once. He doesn’t say anything in response, and Todd worries that it’s another episode for a moment. 

“_Hey_,” he softens, reaching out to take Dirk’s hands in his own. “You know- when I said you can do this I didn’t mean… not at all costs, you know? You still have to- you still _need_ to look out for yourself. And-” Todd swallows down all the things he could say in favour of the words he means. “Look. You’re right, the numbers probably were important, but… you’re always gonna be more important to me than some stupid case so…” he shrugs awkwardly, clearing his throat. “Besides, Amanda said it happened with the Rowdy Three as well so maybe she has something?”

Todd never wants to make Dirk cry, but it’s horrendously easy to when he starts saying things he means and this time is no different. Dirk always tries to pretend he definitely isn’t crying, but it never really works out. 

“I- yes. Yes well, that would… make sense?” he offers, nodding his head in a way that comes across more like he’s trying to convince himself of it more than he actually believes it. 

“It does. It makes sense.” Todd agrees, as firmly as he can because he’s _going_ to undo all of that awful way Dirk is surprised when people care about him no matter how long it takes. “Because, you know, I love you.” They’re words Todd struggles with no matter how much he means them, how deeply he _feels_ them, _saying_ them is always daunting. Sometimes it matters. 

“I love you too.” Dirk sounds like he’s about to burst into tears despite his smile and Todd can’t stand it anymore, moving to pull him into a kiss that lingers long enough to impress the sentiment. 

"I still want to know what the fuck that was," Todd tells him, linking their fingers together and tuggin him away from the site. "I'm just glad you're- you _are_ okay aren't you?"

"I... I think so. It's still-" he shifts a little uncomfortably. "I can still sort of _feel_ it I suppose but. There's not much to be done about it."

Todd doesn't like it. He doesn't like a lot of things, but this is one he particularly doesn't like. Mostly because it's a threat to someone he cares about and he can't even fight it, it makes him feel useless. Dirk is right though, so Todd leans in to press a kiss to his cheek and tugs on his hand.

"Come on. You promised me coffee and you need to sleep, I don't care if you say you're okay."

Dirk smiles, mouth quirking up in the corner fondly as he lets Todd pull him along. He's getting more and more used to Todd's protective, worried caretaking, but that doesn't mean it doesn't flood his chest with warmth every time it happens. He's an insistent force of nature at times, stubborn in a lot of ways, but this is the best way in Dirk's opinion. Even if being aggressively looked after can be an inconvenience at times, Dirk thinks it's worth it.

By the time they make it home Todd has informed Farah of what happened and made arrangements with Amanda for her and the Rowdy Three to visit. Dirk isn't entirely enthralled by the idea, but even he knows they stand a better chance of working out whatever this is with everyone involved so he agrees on the condition that Amanda will be with them at all times. She seems to have some kind of sway over them that Dirk only vaguely understands but is nonetheless thankful for.

He finds himself exhausted pretty quickly, and he lets Todd fuss over him and eventually herd him to bed, unwilling to put up too much resistance when he can already feel the fingers of sleep tugging at his mind. It turns out that being briefly possessed by _whatever_ is actually very tiring. Not enough to completely stop his thoughts racing though, and he finds himself watching Todd when he settles into bed next to him, wondering how much is too much to share with him. He hopes nothing is, no matter how strange, especially when he knows Todd has seen it too, no matter how briefly.

"When-" he pauses briefly when Todd turns to look at him, having his attention making his confidence waver for a moment before he steels himself to push on. "When you saw... when you were _in_ the 'backstage of reality' did you- that is to say... what did it look like?"

Todd's brow furrows, confused by the question but answering all the same.

"I don't know. I mean- it was dark. But... not? Like, there wasn't really a sky or anything but it was like... there were lights? Blue and white and all these little... lines? Like shooting stars but, not. Like I guess it was- it felt like I could see something I couldn't explain and it was on the tip of my tongue, you know? Out of reach or something."

Dirk nods, understanding more than he can really explain to Todd right now but hoping he can see it on his face anyway. There's a rush that comes with it, the thought of being understood in some way even if Todd doesn't necessarily know that he understands.

"I... I don't suppose you saw anything else?" And he doesn't want to talk about it, not really, but he still needs to _know._ It feels important.

"Not really? I mean- I wasn't really paying attention too much, there was a lot going on. I guess... like- what else?"

It's almost enough to make Dirk regret asking, but he can't bring himself to. Instead he looks away, spreading his hands out and studying the lines there, trying to work out how to say what it is he wants to say.

"I suppose... when I was- I've seen it sometimes, you know? That place. One time it was-" he shakes his head, too much. He can't talk about that right now. "I don't know _what_ my whole... thing with the universe is. I don't know how to understand it or explain it or _use_ it, but that's not the point. The thing is that... I can _feel_ it. And not like..." his eyes flicker back to Todd for the briefest moment. "I know you know I feel it, but this is... sometimes when I'm there, when I can see it, I... it's like- like there's something there _with_ me. I can- I _feel_ it, like... like a hand on the back of my neck. Or- it's _there_ but it's not quite _touching_ and-" he can feel the tears welling up and does his best to force them back. He's not sure he can make Todd understand but it might be enough just to have him _know._ "I never look, I never turn around to check because... it feels like... like whatever it is if I _looked_ at it, it would... I don't know. Like I'd stop existing. And sometimes, when it gets really bad I just... well. I lean into it I suppose. Let it show me where to go and- it's _unbelievably_ easy to follow. I could follow it forever, I could just let it..." he trails off, unsure if he wants to keep going down that train of thought. "Anyway," he says, taking a shaky breath and forcing himself to look at Todd, who has the most unreadable expression on his face. "I suppose I was just wondering if you'd- seen it? Felt it? Because if- _whatever_ it is exists then... maybe that's what sort of..."

"Possessed you?" Todd asks, and this time Dirk's exhale is nothing short of a sigh of relief. The same he always has when, against all odds, Todd manages to understand what he's saying.

"Yes. But like I said it might- it might not even be _real_ so-" Todd shakes his head, cutting him off.

"If you feel it then it has to be _something_ right?"

"I- honestly I'd rather it _wasn't_. It's rather terrifying at times."

Dirk smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes, and Todd reflects it back at him. "I guess... it's a good theory. Or, the only one we have right now which is a start. Do you think... y'know. Mona and the others... they feel it too?"

"If they do they've never talked about it. Which... is understandable given _I've_ never talked about it either so I'm not exactly in a position to complain."

Todd shuffles closer, reaching out to pull him in and Dirk finds himself sighing happily when he does. There's very little about being close to Todd that could fail to raise his spirits, or at the very least provide some reassurance.

"You want to know what I think?" He asks, yawning around the last word in a way Dirk would classify as completely adorable.

He snuggles closer. "Always."

"I think whatever it is, it can at least wait until morning and if it doesn't like that, it can come complain to me instead."

"Todd. Are you _threatening_ the universe on my behalf?" He asks, amused.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Oh no, quite the opposite. It's rather charming, I suppose. Very heroic of you."

Todd snorts, and Dirk can _hear_ the eye roll as much as he can see the flush creeping up his cheeks in his minds eye.

"Sure. I'm pretty sure it won't come to that anyway, not if you get some sleep. We can work out what it wants tomorrow."

"Mm," Dirk hums, sleepy now he'd explained himself enough to quiet his racing mind. "The universe is stubborn."

"So am I," Todd counters, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "I think it'd be a pretty fair match."

Dirk just smiles, hiding his face in Todd's chest and fighting to keep his eyes open. "You're very brave, Todd. Or stupid, but brave is far more flattering."

The mumble of Todd's reply is lost as Dirk finds himself drifting off, feeling safer than he has in a while pressed as close to Todd as he is right now. It's warm and secure and for the first time in weeks Dirk thinks he might just stand a chance at fixing whatever this is. Especially when he's not doing it alone.

It's a good thing really that Dirk is used to being wrong, but that doesn't mean he's at all prepared for just _how_ wrong he could be, or how much it could hurt to have the world shift below his feet right when he least expected it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3


	4. Four.

As soon as he wakes up, Todd knows he’s disappeared. 

He feels strangely incorporeal, like he’s stopped existing outside of his own mind, even though he can still see himself when he looks down which is more distressing than it feels like it should be. It’s like he’s taken on more dimensions than his usual three, like he’s been pulled and pushed into a shape he’s unused to, like someone took him apart and put him back together in a different order. It’s disorienting to say the least. 

It takes him a moment to sit up, the ground underneath him feeling strangely solid when a moment before it had felt like he was floating in a vast expanse of nothingness, like he’d never feel solid again. Regardless of the current state of things he manages to drag himself to his feet in what he can only assume is the direction of ‘up’, if he thinks about it too hard he’s going to get a headache, and he’s already at threat of that from the way everything around him feels both empty and full all at once. 

When he opens his eyes it’s to a sight that manages to be familiar even though he’d never thought he’d see it again. 

The space above him is lit up with millions of tiny lights, blue and white stretching out infinitely over his head. It moves, undulating and whirling into some kind of cosmic soup, random bursts of bright light firing themselves across the vast expanse of blue, chasing each other across the universal roadmap above. There’s a thick line of white flowing through the centre, looking almost like the teeth of a vast gaping mouth, or a river cutting across the land and splitting it in two. The stream of creation, he thinks, wondering if Dirk would think the same if he was here. 

Dirk. _Shit_. 

He can’t tell what time it is. Despite the way the scene above is so bright it hurts to look at for too long, the space around him is nothing but inky darkness, leaving him just as blind as if there were no light at all. It’s either that or the space is empty, and Todd desperately does not want to think about being trapped all alone in infinite emptiness. He has no way of knowing how long he’s been here, no way of getting out to tell Dirk he’s okay. Or at least, as okay as a person can be when they’re staring at the inner workings of the cosmos with no guarantee they themself even exist in any kind of measurable capacity anymore. The headache he was trying to avoid is rapidly approaching. 

He can feel the panic creeping up on him, the implication of where he is, of what’s _happened_ to him. The fact that he feels so ridiculously cosmically small just _standing_ here and staring at… _everything_. Last time he was here he’d at least had Amanda, he knew how he’d gotten here, he knew how to get back. This time… 

Todd has no idea what took him or why. He has no idea if this is where everyone else who went missing ended up. He has no idea how to get out of here, where to even _start_ looking, he doesn’t even know if Dirk knows he’s _gone_. He realises with a sudden surge of horror, that if he’s been forgotten about then nobody is looking for him, and if nobody is looking for him, there’s no guarantee he’ll get out of here. This doesn’t seem like a place a person can die, not when it barely seems to be able to hold together his existence, and the realisation that this could be his eternity is enough to send his mild, creeping panic into an overwhelming terror. 

He scrambles to pull his phone out of his pocket, amazed that it’s still here, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to be much use. The screen is glitching strangely, colours and numbers and an array of unusual shapes flittering across it at a pace too fast to keep track of. It makes no sense, and when he tries turning it off it doesn’t seem to respond, much less so to his tapping at the screen. God, he misses phones with physical buttons, at least that way he’d be able to type in a number. Frustrated, he shoves his phone back in his pocket and runs an uncertain hand through his hair, feeling an overwhelming urge to cry. There _has_ to be a way out of here, maybe if he just goes _looking_ he can find… _something_. He doesn’t have the first idea what he’d even be looking for but he knows he can’t just give up. 

It’s with that in mind he starts walking, a strange thing to do when there doesn’t seem to be anywhere to walk _to_, but Todd is stubborn and unwilling to give up on finding his way back, pushing away his panic in favour of anger at the situation he’s found himself in. He can only hope that Dirk and Farah are still safe, still in reality, still _looking_, at least for the others if not for him. The thought that they might have been taken too is too much for him to bear right now, so he tries his best not to think about it. Instead he does his best to focus on finding an exit, an explanation, or just _something_ other than himself in this stupid, ridiculous space. He might not be a detective (at least by Dirk’s definition of the word) but he’s been doing this kind of thing for long enough now that he can at least attempt to make _some_ headway on the utterly mind-bending situation he’s found himself in. 

He’s not stuck here, he _can’t_ be. Somewhat more horrifyingly though, as he makes his way determinedly through the nothingness and feels creeping paranoia make its way up his spine, is the rather unsettling feeling of being watched that begins to permeate the darkness around him.

Todd does what he does best in situations he doesn’t want to be in, and resolutely decides to pretend that he hasn’t noticed that it’s happening.

***

Dirk wakes up to nothing. Or rather, he wakes up to an absence of Todd, which in his opinion is about the same thing.

He doesn't notice at first. It's not necessarily unusual for one of them to be up earlier than the other and Todd has a rather _lovely_ habit of getting impatient and making breakfast on some days when he wakes up far earlier than Dirk does, so he assumes in his half asleep state that he must be off doing that. It doesn't take long for the niggling feeling of something being _wrong_ to start creeping up on him though, something about the morning fighting through his hazy state to inform him that something just isn't right. The room is strangely silent he notices, blinking his eyes open to frown at the empty space where Todd should be, listening for the sound of him in the kitchen or the bathroom and hearing nothing. The apartment walls aren't thick enough for that, and it just makes him more unsettled.

The sheets are cold where he would have been which Dirk tries to convince himself could mean anything. Maybe Todd has been up longer than he'd thought, maybe it's just that he runs colder than Dirk in the first place. There are any _number_ of reasons the sheets could be cold, or so he wants to believe. It makes him reluctant to drag himself out of the bed to go and investigate but the feeling in his gut is only growing. He checks his phone first. No messages or missed calls, just a number of notifications from his endless supply of games which he scrolls through just to check Todd isn't giving his whereabouts away via Candy Crush requests. As he suspected there's nothing, and Dirk takes a steadying breath as he extracts himself from the sheets, trying to convince himself everything is fine.

The emptiness of the living room would suggest otherwise.

Todd isn't in the bathroom when he checks, he isn't in the kitchen either. There's no note which, at times Todd _does_ forget to leave but usually he's rather good about it. The blinds haven't been opened, which doesn't necessarily mean anything either but it casts the room in an oppressive semi-darkness that does nothing to make Dirk feel better.

"Todd?" He calls, just in case even though every bone in his body is telling him that Todd isn't here right now, and the panic starting to build in him is showing no sign of stopping. "Todd this isn't funny!"

No response, not that he was expecting it. Dirk hugs his arms around himself as he scans the room, looking for some kind of clue that isn't the most obvious explanation which just so happens to be the one thing he wants to contemplate the least. He runs out of plausible deniability when he spots Todd's keys still sitting in the dish he'd insisted they get when Dirk kept losing his. Next to it there's a bottle of Todd's medication, which makes Dirk's stomach flip-flop uncomfortably, and he unlocks his phone with shaking hands.

It takes him a good long minute of staring at the screen before he can summon the courage to actually call Todd, and when he finally manages it Dirk finds himself holding his breath and praying to anything that this is all a big misunderstanding. All of his hopes are dashed when the call connects, and the silence of the room erupts with the same unholy screech it had when Sarah had tried to call her brother when she'd first come in to see them.

He hangs up, dropping his phone and backing away from it, head spinning and heart racing as he tries to work out a way that this doesn't mean what he fears it does. There isn't any other explanation though, there's nothing else that would have caused that sound, no other reason for Todd to have up and vanished at some point in the night.

No better message for a universe that wants him to listen to send when he's been steadfastly ignoring it for as long as he possibly can.

Dirk swallows heavily, pushing past the idea of Todd being taken, pushing past the guilt of it all being his fault, and closes his his eyes to try and steady himself.

"Fine." He says, voice breaking around the word as he does his best not to burst into tears right there and then. "_Fine._ You’ve successfully wrangled my attention. I'm _listening_."

The room around him remains as silent as it had been when he'd woken up, and Dirk doesn't have the first idea what to do with that other than cry.

***

It takes him half an hour to call Farah. In reality he knows he should have called her right away, he knows he shouldn't have sat there and let his panic grow into something it seems almost impossible to combat. He _knows_ the longer they leave it, the longer Todd remains stuck _wherever_ he is. But Dirk is a master of ignoring, avoiding, and otherwise talking around situations he doesn't want to face and so instead he takes the time to take a shower and get dressed in an attempt to collect himself before he lets Farah know what happened. And also in the vain hope that Todd's insistence that a good shower can make anything better might mean that once he'd gotten out of the shower Todd would be back to complain at him for using up all the hot water.

He isn't.

The room is empty. Everywhere he looks there's evidence that Todd _was_ here, things that usually make Dirk's heart skip to look at, knowing they share this space together and knowing it's the first real home he's ever had. Now they seem to mock him, like a pointed reminder of Todd's absence and for the briefest moment he considers doing something _entirely_ reckless like setting Todd's entire record collection on fire just to see if it will draw him out of the woodwork. He doesn't think he could bring himself to destroy something Todd loves so much though, even if the situation weren't that desperate, and instead he tries to pretend his tears are leftover water from the shower. It helps that there's nobody there to call him out on it.

He puts together his own outfit like he would any other day, because he _has_ to pretend this is normal if he doesn't want to lose his mind, but he can only comb his hair for so long before he has to admit that if he doesn't call Farah soon he never will, and that just can't happen if Todd is relying on them. Ideally he'd like a cup of tea first, but his hands are shaking far too much for that to be safe, and so instead he just settles on the sofa and clutches an unmoving Mona in his hands. She hadn't been able to tell him anything, she's still stuck or so it seems, because as much as she doesn't like being a person Dirk knows she would be if he really needed her to and she could. He can't feel her reaching out the way he usually can, and it scares him enough that he cradles her against his chest and tries to reassure her too as he finds Farah's number in his phone.

"Dirk? Is everything okay?"

She picks up before it even rings through once, the concern in her voice a constant presence whenever he calls her even though usually it's dropped a moment later when Dirk fails to ask anything of importance. This time though he can't find the words to say anything at all, and the concern in her voice only grows.

"Dirk?" She presses. "Are you there? Because if this is another pocket dial I'm-"

"No! No, don't hang up! I'm here, it's not- I'm here I _promise_ I just- I'm sorry I'm a little overwhelmed right now could you... Is there any chance you could possibly come over to the flat if you're not busy? It's... well. It's rather urgent actually but I'm also hoping it isn't so maybe if you don't come over it won't be because nothing will be wrong because it can't _possibly_ be wrong if you're not worried. That would mean that there isn't anything to worry _about_ and frankly I would _much_ prefer that situation so if you could actually-"

"Dirk!" She cuts him off, sounding more worried than before which is _bad_ and the complete _opposite_ of what he'd wanted. "Alright, just. Breathe for me, okay? And- tell me what happened."

Dirk breathes, once, twice, and then gives up on the whole endeavour because it's not actually going to _help_ him find Todd and really what use is _breathing_ if he's just going to be completely useless whether he does it or not?

"I- well. I don't know. What happened that is. By all accounts it makes no sense, or maybe it makes _too much_ sense and Todd-" he trips over the word, sitting far too heavy on his tongue and tugging unpleasantly at his heart, bringing fresh tears to his eyes.

"What about Todd?" Farah asks, and Dirk knows her well enough by now to know when her worry is reaching critical levels no matter how hard she's trying to sound calm. "Dirk, where _is_ Todd?"

Dirk's breath is wet and shaky when he exhales, words forming around a sob. "I don't know," he manages, and suddenly it seems like it's all too real. "I don't- I woke up and he was _gone_. His- his keys are here but his phone _isn't_ and I tried calling him and it just- it made that _awful_ noise and I- I know what that _means_ but I don't... I don't know where he _is_ I just know that he's _gone_ and it's _taken_ him and it's all my-"

"Shit. Okay. Okay, Dirk I'm on my way over just- don't move okay, stay where you are. We'll- whatever this is we'll work it out, okay? It's... it is _not_ your fault. We just-" her next breath comes out sharply, and Dirk hopes she isn't crying too. "We have to keep ourselves together, alright? If Todd has gone missing, we need to get him back so we need to _keep it together_. He needs us to do that for him. Do you think you can manage that? "

He sniffles, rubbing at his nose with his sleeve and marvelling a little at the fact that it feels better just to talk to Farah on the phone. Dirk is convinced Farah is the most incredible woman to walk the earth and every time something like this happens it just proves it. The thought of doing this without her is one he can't bear, and he's so _ridiculously_ grateful to have her here now. She's right of course, they might be the only people who can get Todd back and if they are Dirk _needs_ to keep himself together to do that. He'd do _anything_ for Todd, no matter how seemingly impossible.

"I- yes. Yes I can... I can do that," he promises, forcing a smile to his face just to see if it will make a difference.

"Alright. Good. I'm on my way over. I-" she sighs, restrained, professional, all the things Dirk admires in her but never quite managed to learn for himself. "I need you to tell me what happened."

Dirk pulls himself up until he's sitting properly, doing his best to approach this the same way he would any other case, only this time he's on the other side. "I suppose I should just... start at the beginning?"

"That seems like a good place," she agrees, gentle despite her resolve.

Dirk nods, and thinks back to when the beginning _actually_ was. There was plenty that came before last night that could be relevant, and he hopes it doesn't end up being _too_ long of a story. For their sake _and_ Todd's.

***

Farah doesn't hug him when she arrives, but she does take his hand and squeeze a little harder than usual. Dirk's returning smile is watery at best.

"I called Amanda," she says. "Apparently she was already on her way over, Todd called her last night?"

"_Shit!_" he'd forgotten all about that, forgotten to even call Amanda and let her know that her _brother_ is _missing_ because he was too busy being a mess about it himself. "What did she- is she _okay_? I mean, obviously _not,_ her brother is missing, stupid Dirk! But-"

"She's _fine."_ Farah assures him. "Worried and pretending not to be. She said they'll be here by this evening and that Todd is the only idiot who could get lost while lying in bed so. She's Amanda. It's..." Farah looks pained for a moment, and Dirk wonders if there's more to it than she's letting on. "I didn't... I didn't exactly _tell_ her that the universe is... stealing people? I just- I just told her Todd was missing. The universe thing seemed like more of an in-person explanation? I don't have the first idea _how_ to explain it so... she said she was coming about the numbers?"

Dirk swallows heavily at the thought of having to explain that Todd isn't just missing but in fact he's quite possibly blinked out of existence altogether, but he _has_ to save that thought for later because right now the last thing he needs is another reason to freak out.

"Right! Yes! The numbers! _Very_ mysterious, I don't even _remember_ them! It's probably a good thing that Amanda saw it too or that information could very well be...." he nearly says lost forever, but the words stick in his throat and he tightens his grip on Mona. "It seems important."

Farah seems to know what he's thinking, frowning at the mug in his hands but saying nothing about it. "You don't remember anything at all?"

"Not a single thing. I remember getting a very specific _feeling_ that I couldn't for the _life_ of me explain to you. A universe feeling. Like a hunch but... colder. Or just... sort of damp, I suppose? Like stepping in some water with socks on. _Very_ uncomfortable. And then I just... woke up on the floor. Todd was on the phone, and he was pulling his _very_ concerned face with all the-" he gestures to his eyebrows like that explains it. "And he said I was saying numbers and that he didn't write any of them down because-" Dirk clears his throat, frowning himself now. "Because he was... worried. About me. Which as it turns out was a waste of time because now _he's_... wherever he is."

There's a long moment of silence before Farah leans over to cover his hands with her own. It's their own brand of comfort, one they're both comfortable with and means more than either of them want to say.

"We'll find him." She sounds certain, and Dirk wants so badly to believe her and yet he feels just as lost as he looks when he meets her eyes.

"What if we don't?" He asks, voice soft and scared. "We haven't found Henry, or Sarah, or the _entire street_ that went missing!" he's growing more panicked, words coming in faster by the second. "We don't have the first idea what happened to them, we don't even know if they're still _alive_! Or if they exist at all! The only people who remember them are people who cared enough, or in fact were _weirded out_ enough to go looking! Nobody else even _noticed_! What if we _don't_ find him? What if we _never_ find him? What if- what if we _forget_ he even _existed_?"

Farah shakes her head, eyebrows creased like she's holding back tears but her eyes set with that familiar determination she has when despite the low odds she's _refusing_ to give up.

"We are _not_ going to forget about him. You- you _can't_ think like that, Dirk. _We_ can't afford to think like that, not if we want to get him back. It took-" she swallows and steels herself, making sure to catch his gaze and hold it before she keeps talking. "It took us _two months_ to find you. I thought Todd would go crazy! I thought _I_ would- but we kept going. We did everything we could and- yes there was a point I wanted to give up because it seemed _hopeless_ but Todd? He's... you _know_ what he's like, he would have gotten himself killed looking for you- which is _not_ something I approve of, before you get any ideas, and I don't..." she sighs, softening around the shoulders and she shakes her head. "I don't know how we found you, but we kept looking, and we did. So.... we _have_ to keep going. We have to keep looking. He _needs_ us, and you _know_ how much he'll hate that but he _does_ so- We're _going_ to find him Dirk. It took him for a reason, we've worked with less than that before."

Farah's face swims in his vision, and he realises it's because he's crying when it's too late to stop himself. Dirk doesn't bother to wipe the tears away, needing to hold onto his one point of contact with Farah far more than he needs his face to be dry. Everything feels wrong with the world right now and the last thing he needs is to feel more alone.

"We're going to find him." He agrees, a little less assuredly than she had but managing the words nonetheless. It feels like a tiny victory. He is _not_ going to give up on Todd.

Farah smiles, nodding her agreement and squeezing his shoulder. "I think it's best to wait for Amanda and her... _entourage_ before we make any moves but- we can look over what we already have? See if we can make any connections?"

They're both the kinds of people who need to _do_ something rather than sitting in their worry, and it seems like the perfect solution right now. Even if they don't make any progress it will feel purposeful, like they're working towards finding him even when they can't do anything more. It won't take away all of his worries but it will certainly work to distract him for long enough that he won't work himself into another panic spiral before Amanda gets here. It's all they really have.

"Perfect," he agrees, nodding his head and wringing his hands together. "I think first though... tea?"

Farah smiles, the corner of her mouth quirking up fondly. "Tea sounds good."

It's the first thing that's felt normal all day, but somehow without Todd making derisive comments about Dirk's preferred hot beverage, it's not entirely the same.

***

It feels like he's been walking for hours.

The lights above him haven't dimmed, a mass of white and blue that is constantly changing shape, undulating against the backdrop of complete and utter darkness. The last time he was here was different, back then he could feel a tether to where he'd come from, where he still _was_, like he'd been split in two and had an escape route back to himself. There's no such tether this time.

He feels cut off, isolated. It's far lonelier than last time, when he and Amanda had shared the space and wondered at the sight of the workings of the universe. Todd still feels that wonder now, every time he looks up there's a sense of awe that overcomes him, a nagging need to understand, or perhaps to look away like it's something he shouldn't be seeing in the first place. He tries not to look up too much, worried that he'll find himself trapped like he had when he'd opened the closet and seen _everything_. There's nobody to pull him out of it here, and he has no idea what would happen then. He wants to be sure that he couldn't disappear from a place he'd already disappeared to, but he's convinced that no matter what he needs to find _some_ way of reaching Dirk. He has to believe he's trying to find him.

And so he walks, the darkness around him never ceasing, no changes in the landscape to tell him how far he's come if he's even _going_ anywhere. He wonders how long it would take him to go mad here, and almost thinks he _has_ when, despite everything, his phone starts ringing.

Todd has never really been one for answering his phone, preferring to let it go to voicemail on account of the fact that he'd given too many people too many reasons to want to say less than pleasant things to him and that way he doesn't have to engage, but he doesn't think he's ever been more relieved to feel his phone vibrating in his pocket so determindley.

The problem he finds when he manages to fish it out of his pocket, is that even though it seems to be functioning in the ringing capacity, the screen is less than co-operative. Its display is still glitching, a bright point of light against the darkness, and for a moment he just stares before he starts tapping against it at random where he vaguely remembers the pick up icon to be. It takes him a few tries, each more panicked than the last when he knows he only has a limited time to pick up before it goes directly to voicemail.

"Fucking... _shit,"_ he swears, wondering how in the hell he even _has_ reception here when it's going to break his phone anyway. "Come on, _come on,_ I don't have time for-"

"Todd?"

For a minute Todd just stares at the screen in disbelief. It's crackly and distorted, but it's _Dirk's_ voice. He'd know it anywhere.

"Dirk! Shit, what _happened?_ I don't-"

"Todd? Is it- what _is_ that? I can't- are you okay? Can you- can you hear me?" He sounds worried, frantic, and Todd feels almost bad about it if it weren't for the relief of hearing his voice.

"Yeah, I'm right here! I don't- wait, can _you_ hear-"

Dirk cuts him off with a sigh, and Todd suddenly remembers the static. Dirk can't hear him, even if _he_ can hear Dirk. All he can hear from Todd is that _awful_ screeching static that had been enough to make all of their stomach's turn last time. It makes his flip again now.

It seems _ridiculously_ cruel for the universe to throw him a lifeline he can't even _use_. But then he supposes if the universe had taken him in the first place it never had much interest in being nice.

"I'm here," he says, just in case, because Dirk sounds scared and he _hates_ it. "I'm right here, I just can't-"

"Right. Of course not. Why _would_ it work? Stupid..." Dirk swallows, and even over the bad line Todd can hear the tears in his voice. "On the _incredibly_ small chance that you can hear me right now, I think I'd quite like to say that... I fully intend on getting you back from... wherever you are. Well, I'm going to call Farah and then- _we_ will try and get you back. I hope. If there's even any of you to _get_ back. I don't- I'm _sorry,_ Todd. I'm so- this shouldn't have happened and it's so... it's _not..."_ he cuts himself off this time, breath catching on a sob and Todd just clings to his phone as tightly as he can as if it could somehow transfer that back to Dirk. "Anyway I don't- this is all a bit silly. You're probably not even there, but I... I have to try. I'm going to try and I- love you. I love you. There, I said it, you're not here to complain so I get to say it. I'd say it anyway, obviously, I don't understand why it bothers you in the first place honestly when I-" Dirk clears his throat and Todd can picture him sitting up straighter, the way he does when he's trying to pull himself together. It makes his heart ache. "I'm going to get you back. Somehow. Just- please, _please_ hold on until we get there because- I don't know what I'd do without you. I suppose I'm going to find out, but I'd much rather that _not_ be a permanent state of affairs."

There's a long silence in which Todd isn't sure whether he should speak. The line is crackly and disrupted, but Dirk is _there_, he's right _there,_ just on the other end of the phone line. A whole universe away. Todd finds himself rather suddenly feeling like he's going to cry.

"Goodbye, Todd." Dirk says, soft but a little more solid than before. "I- I hope I'll see you soon."

The realisation that Dirk is going to hang up hits Todd too late to do anything other than shout, "_wait-!"_ before the phone line goes dead, and the world around him falls back into silence.

He stares at the screen for a long time, trying to ignore the fact that there are tears burning in his eyes as he wrestles with the relief of knowing Dirk is looking for him, and the fear of what that could bring. There's no predicting the universe at the best of times, and no predicting Dirk either, but this is _far_ from the best of times and Todd is helpless to do anything other than wait, and hope that it all turns out okay.

It feels lonelier than it had before, the weight of having had a brief moment of contact settling heavily in his chest. At first he almost welcomes it, but when the pain keeps growing, spreading through his body all too quickly and building on itself in a horrifically familiar way, Todd realises that he hasn't taken any of his medication since the previous night, and wonders how it's even _possible_ for him to have an attack here.

As he breaks the deafening silence around himself with the sound of his own screaming, he supposes he's about to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3


	5. Five.

By the time Amanda does show up, Dirk has drunk his way through at least six cups of tea and is showing no signs of slowing down. Farah had been eyeing him with some concern, wondering if cutting people off from tea is a thing that can be done, but considering how anxious she's feeling herself she can hardly blame him for it and as far as coping mechanisms go it's far from the worst. She thinks they might both need some reinforcement for when Amanda and her friends arrive. Farah had called her to update her, and she's still not entirely sure what to make of the way she'd gone terribly quiet for a long minute before announcing that they'd be there as soon as they could. She's preparing herself for the worst, especially with Dirk's less than favourable attitude towards the Rowdy Three, Farah is trying to make sure she holds it together as much as she possibly can. It's a lot harder to be objective about the situation when it's somebody she cares about, but for the sake of her sanity she's _trying._

Expected or not, the knock on the door comes as a surprise, and Farah and Dirk look at each other before Dirk scrambles to his feet to open it despite his reservations about who may or may not be on the other side.

"_Amanda_," he says, the relief is palpable in his voice and the woman in question wastes no time in scooping Dirk into a hug. He sags against her, and Farah eyes the men crowded into the hallway behind her with a little suspicion, one of them waves back with a sunny smile, and she's not sure why it makes her feel better but it does.

"Have you found anything?" Amanda asks when she finally lets Dirk go, her eyes are red rimmed like she's been crying, eyeliner smudged like she's been trying to hide it. Todd and Amanda aren't like they used to be, but their relationship has been been getting far better more recently, and Farah suspects even in the midst of the worst time in their relationship she never would have been _pleased_ to hear that Todd had been stolen by the universe and all but vanished off the face of the earth with no clear way to get him back. They've talked since then, and it's clear that she's worried just from the look on her face, it makes something in Farah's own chest twinge with sympathy

"I-" Dirk sounds choked up already, shaking his head as he looks at her in despair. "We wanted- we thought it might be best if you got here before we... we're _trying_ but I don't _know_ he just..."

"He vanished," Farah fills in for him, appearing at Dirk's shoulder and smiling in a way that's more grimacing than anything. "We've been dealing with-" she cuts herself off with a sigh. "You'd better come in."

"Oh! Oh, yes! I'm sorry I didn't even-" Dirk scrambles out of the way, holding the door open for Amanda and taking care not to make eye contact with any of the Rowdy Three as they filter through the door in a manner far more subdued than Farah had ever seen them, let alone Dirk.

They settle themselves on and around the sofas in the living room. Martin perches himself on the window ledge just behind where Amanda has sat down where he's able to survey the room, Vogel dropping to sit on the floor next to her, leaning back against the sofa itself where Gripps has sat himself next to Amanda, and Cross seems to have taken to the arm next to him. They look like a small pack of wolves, but despite the way Vogel is fidgeting a little it's obvious someone, Martin, Farah would assume, has made sure they're on their best behaviour. If anything Farah can respect that, they clearly care for Amanda deeply and Farah understands a protective instinct like that more than most. Dirk is still fidgety though, clearly not particularly comfortable with the situation, especially when Martin turns his attention towards him.

"Drummer said you caught the crazy too." It's a question, but he doesn't state it like one, and Dirk frowns at the wording.

"I'm not sure what you mean by _crazy_ and I certainly didn't _catch_ anything so I'm not really sure what you're-"

"With the numbers," he interrupts, leaning forwards to rest his elbows on his knees. "All misty eyed and shit. What'd it feel like?"

"I felt real cold, man. Like ice cubes and shit," Gripps interjects, shaking is head.

"It was spooky," Cross agreed. "Didn't feel good. All shivery."

"It felt _bad_," Vogel reaches for Amanda's hand, wide eyed. "All bad. Worst kinda bad. There were _numbers_."

For a moment Dirk just stares, and he seems to find some bravery from somewhere, or perhaps some frustration because he draws himself up a little and looks Martin in the eye.

"_Right_. Well I didn't feel... it was certainly _strange_ but it's not the _worst_ thing I've ever felt and I don't know about the numbers because-" he trips over himself for a moment. "Because Todd didn't get chance to record them anywhere. I imagine it felt much the same way for me as it did for you. I don't know what it was but I'm not sure how it _helps_."

"You- your _thing_ works differently though, right?" Amanda asks, "It's not like... you have a different _thing._ You get hunches and shit, you... you _find_ things. Can't you just-"

"It doesn't work like that." Dirk takes a step back, the involuntary kind of response he usually has to such questions, fighting the urge to leave the situation as immediately as possible. "I wish it _did_ believe me at times like this there is _nothing_ more I would like than to be able to find Todd but- It doesn't _work_ like that and I can't just- I'm sorry. I'm _sorry_. I don't know how to find him."

"You ain't felt it?" Martin asks, regarding Dirk curiously from his perch. "I don't know what weird shit goes on with your whatever, but you're like us and _we_ felt it. All wrong."

Dirk's eyes go wide, fidgeting his fingers as he stammers around the words. "I... well. I'm not, I wouldn't say I'm _like_ you as such but I... I may have felt something rather _unsettling_. Disruptive sort of... all round not _good_ feeling."

"What do you mean, not good?" Amanda turns back to him, leaning forwards. "Like... ate some bad takeout not good or _the world is imploding_ not good? Because the guys have been... freaking _out_, man. Not like... really badly but, y'know, _weird_ shit."

"Well... I suppose it's been- on _that_ kind of a scale one could argue that-"

"Todd said you woke up screaming the other night," Farah interjects. "He said you kept staring into space, he was _worried_ about you. _I_ was-" she cuts herself off with a sharp sigh. "How long has this been going on? All of you."

"Couple months," Gripps tells her. "Everything went real quiet."

"Then real loud," Cross admits. "Felt all funny like a stomach ache."

"I suppose... It's been a while? It's... hard to tell, the universe is always- it's never _right_, not for me so- but I suppose it's been a few months. And then... the other night it would have been. It was like an earthquake? Like, a culmination of all the _bad_ and that's when..."

"People started disappearing," Farah finishes for him.

Dirk nods his agreement, "I'm afraid so."

"Right. _Right_ okay so- something is clearly _causing_ this, something to do with... the universe? And you're all- if the universe is _reaching out_ it's trying to contact everyone it can, right? And if it's sending the same message..." she sighs, burying her face in her hands as she sits down. "It's completely _useless_ if we don't know what the message is."

"The numbers?" Amanda asks, hopeful. "You think the message was the numbers? Because-"

"Gripps knows!" Vogel jumps up excitedly. "Oh _man_! He knows like, _all_ the numbers!"

Dirk eyes him sceptically. "You _remembered_?"

"I'm good with numbers," Gripps shrugs.

Cross nods, "he's _real_ good with numbers."

"_Yes_ but we _passed out_. How could you _possibly-_"

"Dirk!" Farah shakes her head at him before she turns back to Gripps. "Do you know what they are?"

"Thirty seven, fourteen, three hundred and sixty, one hundred and fifteen, forty eight, twenty three, ninety nine."

"See! He did it! He knows all the numbers!" Vogel grins, egged on by Cross and Martin cheering for him.

"What are they?" Amanda asks, leaning over Farah's notebook with her. Dirk is keeping himself a little away but he still tilts his head at the page over her shoulder. "Are they like, a secret code or something? A combination?"

"No," Farah shakes her head. "There's no real pattern here. Not like... it wouldn't match to any code I know of."

"Okay," Amanda draws the word out. "So like, how can it be sending a message if there's no _words_?"

"Maybe it's a phone number," Dirk suggests. "A very _long_ phone number. Perhaps?"

"It's not-" Farah's frown deepens. "Amanda, when they were speaking, were there pauses?"

"Well, _yeah_. Not like... nothing happened but, they stopped. Between the numbers."

"And they read the numbers like that? _Exactly_ like that? Not as three, seven, one, four, but as multiple digit numbers?"

"Yeah, totally. Why?"

"I think..." Dirk watches intently as Farah picks up her pen, making small markings against the page.

"What's that?" He asks, taking the paper from her to squint at it. "Does that make it _mean_ anything? What's the point of a message that doesn't _mean_ anything?"

Farah raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, holding her hand out until he relents and hands the paper back to her sheepishly. She sets it down on the coffee table where they can all see.

"They're coordinates," she tells them. "We're missing the direction but... latitude and longitude. I used to use them all the time. Numbers are universal, coordinates stay where they are no matter where the person is, if this is from the universe, it makes _sense_. It wants us to go to wherever this is."

The Rowdies, always happy to have a reason to make some noise, yell their approval loudly. Vogel jumps up and down to hug Amanda, pleased to have solved it, and Farah has pulled out her phone to try and work out exactly which direction it wants them to take. Dirk, feeling a familiar yet uncomfortable tug in his stomach, uses the excitement to sneak away to the kitchen, placing his head against the cool glass of the window and trying his best not to cry. He doesn't manage to stay there alone for long.

"Drummer thinks that's where her brother is." Martin's voice makes him jump, spinning round to regard him with wide-eyes, wishing he wasn't as intimidated as he is. "You know that's not it."

"I-" Dirk swallows heavily, eyes darting away. "I don't have the first idea what you're talking about."

"Bullshit." Martin stands up straighter from where he'd been leaning against the wall. "You're not like us. Same thing, different way of workin'. Works funny for you, I don't understand it, but y'know. In a place like that you hear things. Feel things. You know stuff, like it or not, an' you know where it is this thing wants you to be."

Dirk feels strangely like he wants to stamp his feet and scream that it's not fair. He tamps down on the urge, turning on his best defenses instead.

"We are _not_ the same. We have... a rather unfortunate connection. You have a thing, and I have a thing, and you know _nothing_ about how it works so if you'd be so kind as to _not_ make assumptions you have _no_ reason to be making it would be _rather appreciated_."

Martin stares at him for a long moment, and it doesn't do anything to calm the racing of Dirk's heart.

"What're you scared of?"

Dirk snorts, trying to avoid the question. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more _specific_."

"You want your boy back. You wanna help those people. You know where they are. Why're you scared?"

"Aren't _you_?" Dirk turns on him, unable to help himself as he steps into his space. "Would _you_ want to go back there? If the universe, which, by the way, most of the time tries to get me _killed_, was dragging you back there would you just... stroll merrily in through the front gates and right back into _that_?" He's worked up, caught somewhere between anger and tears. "It's alright for you, because you're right, you _don't_ know how it works for me. It's _different_, it's not _safe._ I don't _get_ a way to defend myself, and I _certainly_ don't get people to _share_ it with. So if you knew there was nothing keeping you safe, nobody to go with, and that if you try this and get it _wrong_, bearing in mind that you _always_ get it _wrong,_ would _you_ just go 'oh right, better go then!' and drive down there alone to get back into _that_?!"

Dirk immediately feels the fear creep in from the way Martin is looking at him, but he stands his ground, chest heaving and looking like he's halfway to going mad as the other man stares him down.

When he finally speaks, it's the last thing Dirk expected him to say.

"You ain't on your own."

He's so dumbfounded he forgets to be afraid, deflating in his confusion. "What?"

"You ain't on your own." Martin repeats, like it'll make more sense to him. "Drummer's brother is missin', ain't no way she's missin' out on gettin' him back. Ain't no way she's goin' there without us, ain't no gettin' anyone back without you, and your boss lady in there don't look like she's gon' let you go down there without her."

"I..." Dirk's eyes dart back to the open doorway, letting that sink in for a moment. "You mean- but you... you can't _want_ to go back there?"

Martin shrugs. "Don't think nobody does, but if drummer is goin' so are we. We ain't gonna get stuck there again."

"You don't _know_ that."

"Sure don't know that they won't try, but I know we won't let 'em."

Dirk doesn't know what to say to that. The thought of going back to Blackwing _terrifies_ him, the thought of getting stuck there again is almost enough to make him want to turn and run in the opposite direction. But somehow, knowing that he won't be going down there alone... in some way it helps. Just a little. Perhaps just enough to give him the courage to _try._ Besides, if it's the only way to get Todd back he can't see what other choice he has.

"Okay." He says after a long moment. "_Fine_. But- we're taking our own car. I don't feel like dying _before_ we get there."

Martin doesn't smile, but he tilts his head towards him in acknowledgement and claps him on the shoulder hard enough to make him stumble.

"Not bad," he tells him, and Dirk recognises it as some kind of praise. He's not sure how to feel about it.

"Yes, well, I'm not exactly _happy_ about it," Dirk huffs, more for the protest’s sake than anything else.

"Get your boy back first, worry about that later."

Dirk, as he follows Martin back into the living room, realises with a horrified feeling, that he might actually have a point.

He wonders if that's a good thing or a bad thing, and finds it's impossible to tell.

***

There's an unpleasant feeling settling into Dirk's stomach that he does his best to ignore as Farah turns their living room into a makeshift base of operations. She'd narrowed down the coordinates, deciding which direction they were meant to go in had been easy enough once Dirk had decided to _actually_ offer his input rather than shoving away every signal the universe was giving him. Martin seems to have no qualms about keeping an eye on him, and every time Dirk glances in his direction he has to look away when he meets his eyes. He's not sure whether he should feel intimidated or reassured, but it ends up as some strange mix of both.

"Getting there without being detected could be an issue," Farah muses, clicking through the map she's pulled up on her laptop, scouting out the surrounding area. "There's a lot of empty land, it's unlikely we'll get through without being seen."

"Won't the universe... do some _stuff_?" Amanda waves her arms to indicate what _stuff_ means. "Y'know, if it wants you there? That's how it works, right?"

"We can't rely on that," Farah shakes her head before Dirk can interrupt. "We might... we might just have to play it safe? I don't know how far we'd get if we just walked up to the front gate but-"

"They'd let me in," Dirk says, a little bitter. "They want me to go back there as much as the universe does, they'd hardly turn me away."

"They might let you in, but they won't let you _out,"_ Farah protests. "We're not risking it."

"No risk there," Martin rolls his head towards Farah. "Me an' the boys are comin' with you. We'll get you where you need to go."

"I like breaking stuff!"

"Do somethin' real fun!"

"They're bad people!"

The chorus makes Dirk roll his eyes, and Farah looks a little pained by it herself. Amanda grins at them though, shrugging her shoulders.

"Come on, who _doesn't_ want to break into a secret government facility?" She teases, bumping Farah's shoulder.

"Those of us who've spent countless hours trying to break _out_ of it," Dirk grumbles, folding his arms over his chest. "Besides, it's not like getting in is even the _issue_."

"_Fine_," Amanda rolls her eyes this time. "We get in, we get all the missing people, we get out. It'll work out."

"They're not _there_!" Dirk throws his hands up in the air, exasperated. "It doesn't want us to go to Blackwing because that's where they _are_, it wants us to go there because there's something there we can use to fix whatever's wrong and then _hope_ that when it's fixed it will _give_ us the people back. They weren't taken by _Blackwing,_ they've been taken by... the _universe_. There's no guarantee they even _exist_ in the same state as we'd expect them to, especially not if they're trapped in some kind of... pocket dimension!"

"Woah, hold up. I thought you said it wanted us to go there?" Dirk feels a surge of guilt at the look on Amanda's face, confusion and a little betrayal. "What do you mean they _aren't there_?"

"I-" he shakes his head, shrinking in on himself a little and _god_ he feels tired already. "_Look_. The problem isn't- the universe taking people is just a side effect of a _much_ bigger problem. I don't... there's something there we can use to get them back. Potentially, _maybe_, it's- it's _complicated_. Nobody _really_ knows what the problem is but if I can _fix_ it, which at this point is definitely still an _if_, a big, humongous _if_, then I might be able to bring them all back."

"And what if you can't?" Amanda looks about as scared as he feels when he meets her eyes, feeling more out of his depth than he has in a while. He wants Todd, this whole situation would be easier with Todd here to stop him feeling like he's drowning. He's good at that. Dirk can't face the thought of never having that again.

"Then... whatever is wrong will likely _keep_ happening until it creates some kind of ... _catastrophic event_ that will kill us all." Which honestly Dirk feels could be a small mercy at this point, but doesn't seem to reassure Amanda in the slightest. He sighs to himself, reaching out to her, hands fluttering nervously before he rests them on her shoulders even if it seems to be more for his benefit than hers. "But I suppose if that's going to happen anyway..."

Amanda's worry turns into a smile, lighting up her face with the kind of manic lets-do-this expression he's so used to seeing on Todd. It makes his chest ache, but somehow manages to give him hope. Perhaps it's because that expression on Todd's face always makes him think they can do anything, and he has no reason to expect anything less from Amanda. More, even, if he's completely honest.

"We can _so_ do this," she promises him, setting her own hands on his shoulders and shaking him a little until he smiles. "C'mon. We've _got_ this. Me and the boys, _Farah_, who is a fucking _badass_, and the world's best magic detective? What else could be _possibly_ need?"

"Someone who _knows_ the place." Farah has her hands on her hips, but it's a look that means business rather than despair. "We might be able to get in, you _might_ have a distraction, but if we don't know where we're going or how the security works or what their schedules are then we'll still be going in blind and I'm sorry but that is _unacceptable_. Do any of you actually know how they operate?"

The Rowdies remain uncharacteristically silent, Martin narrowing his eyes at her while Vogel looks around at the others nervously. It takes a moment before Dirk, regretting it before he says it, speaks up.

"Actually..." all eyes in the room turn to him and he clears his throat before venturing on, sensing Farah's reaction before he even gets the words out. "I might... know someone who does."

"You _know someone_?" She asks, brows furrowing together indignantly. "You _know_ someone who knows how Blackwing runs its operations?"

"I... _well_, I don't exactly _know_ him. We sort of... had a moment, and we've been talking? A little. It's... he doesn't work there anymore, he's not a _threat_. It's all fine, really, nothing to worry about and hey! We can use him now so really it's just more proof that everything is connected!"

"_When_ were you going to tell us that you were _talking_ to a guy from _Blackwing_? Dirk! That's... that's a _monumental_ risk! You can't possibly..." she throws her hands up in the air despairingly. "Are all of you _okay_ with this?!"

Dirk reaches his hands out but thinks better of it at the last minute, panicking in the face of Farah's outburst. "It's okay! They want to kill him too!"

It doesn't seem to help, instead she just stares at him in silence before shaking her head. "_Unbelievable_."

"He a bad guy?" Martin asks, Dirk finds him unreadable as ever.

Cross interrupts before he can say anything. "We don't like bad guys."

"Sure don't," Gripps shakes his head as Vogel drops down onto the couch next to him.

"Some bad guys are real scary!"

"He's..." Dirk looks to Farah for help, but the same question is written all over her face too. "Not really? He- he _helped_ me, and we've been... only talking a little but we _have_ been talking and they really _do_ want to kill him so... how bad can he be? He'll help us."

"How do you _know_ that?" Farah asks, and he knows she's just looking out for them, he loves her for it too, but it's a frustrating question when a lot of what Dirk knows comes from an unacknowledged universal certainty that only he can decipher.

"Hunch?" He offers, as innocently as possible. "That and he seems _very_ guilty, honestly he _wants_ to help, he's offered before. I don't think _this_ would be _quite_ what he had in mind but... what are the chances of the universe dropping the _one_ person who could help us get into Blackwing _metaphorically_ into my lap? How can it do that and _not_ want us to use him? It's _obvious_!"

Amanda shrugs in Farah's direction, hopeful look back on her face. "Sounds good to me."

"Fine, _fine_!" She agrees after a moment, throwing her hands up in the air. "But if he tries anything, I will _shoot_ him."

"Fine by me!" Dirk agrees sunnily, happy to have her on board. "Now. Are we all in agreement with the plan?" he frowns to himself before turning back to Farah. "What _is_ the plan?"

She sits down, pulling the laptop towards herself and clicking through a number of pages until she's happy.

"We take two vehicles. Amanda and... her friends in theirs, Dirk and I will go in mine. You take a head start and go the long way round to come in from the north, meanwhile we'll pick up Dirk's intel and head up from the south. We'll meet outside their perimeter and regroup. It'll be easier to make a plan when we have more information but for now our main goal is to make it look like we're _not_ doing what we're doing as much as possible." Farah looks up over her laptop at them all. "This is probably the worst plan I've ever had to come up with."

"But it _is_ a plan," Dirk grins, bouncing on his feet because it feels _good_ to have _something_ in the way of an idea of how to get Todd back. "You're _brilliant_ Farah!"

"Don't thank me yet," she sighs, but it does pull a smile to her face too. Dirk knows she'll feel just as good as he does to be _doing_ something rather than just sitting here. "I hope you know where this guy is?"

"Of course I do! Vaguely. He's in a motel a few hours away from here, or at least he was the last time I checked. He keeps moving."

"Well at least he's not a _complete_ idiot," she concedes, closing her laptop to put it away before turning to Amanda. "I want check-ins every hour. Let me know where you are, where you're headed, and if anything has gone wrong. We need to keep in touch, I'm hoping we make it there at roughly the same time but if you do get there first lay low and _try_ not to look suspicious."

"You got it!" Amanda grins, giving Farah a mock salute. "I feel _way_ better with you in charge. No offence, Dirk."

Dirk is offended for all of a minute before he realises that Amanda has a point. Farah is certainly a reassuring and competent presence. 

"Yes, well. Stay safe," he offers, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder before Amanda rolls her eyes and drags him into a hug. "Oh! Or, yes. This works too."

"We'll find him," she promises, quiet enough just for him to hear. Dirk holds onto her a little tighter than necessary.

For the minute that it feels okay to do so.

"Well, if we _don't_ he may come back as a _very_ shouty ghost and I don't think any of us would want that."

Secretly Dirk thinks he wouldn't mind as long as he was still here, but it has the desired effect when he finally breaks the hug and sees Amanda is still smiling.

"C'mon," she tilts her head, reaching out to take Vogel's hand. "We've gotta go save the world and shit. We'll see you there!"

She lingers just long enough for Farah to press a burner phone into her hand and reiterate the importance of hourly check ins, before following after the Rowdies with an astonishingly loud slam of the door behind them. Farah winces at the sound, but they're both thankful that the apartment itself remains intact.

"I think Amanda is a good influence on them," Dirk muses. "Or... perhaps _equally_ good and bad depending on the situation."

"Don't think I've forgotten about the secret blackwing operative you've been talking to." She sounds tired, and Dirk feels a spark of guilt at the sound of it, wondering if that's his doing too. "Are you _sure_ this is safe? I mean- how do you know this isn't a trap? How do you know they haven't been tracking you this whole time?"

"Of course they're tracking me Farah," Dirk rolls his eyes, pointedly avoiding her gaze. "They're _always_ tracking me. Honestly, it seems rather a waste of resources if you ask me but they seem rather determined not to lose sight of their..." he shakes his head, shrugging on his jacket. "It doesn't matter. The point is I _really_ don't think Michael is much of a threat, the last time he pointed a gun in my face he didn't much look like he knew how to use it."

"He pointed a _gun_ in your face?!"

"It was an emergency! Besides, ultimately he proved _more_ than helpful. I wouldn't even be here without him, and they really _do_ want him dead. He wants to help, and we have _you_. It's not like I'm inviting him over for tea."

"No," she sighs. "Just bringing him into a highly sensitive mission."

"Which won't work without his information! Honestly he's _far_ more useful than you'd think to look at him." Dirk turns wide, hopeful eyes on her, trying to look as reassuring as possible and mostly looking like a lost puppy.

"We're going to be _careful_," she warns, pointing a finger at him to reiterate her point. "The more people we involve the more risk there is. We _need_ this to go smoothly."

"And it will! But only if we actually _leave,_ so-" Dirk cuts himself off, turning towards the bedroom with a slight frown, feeling that familiar tug of _something_ in his chest that urges him to follow. "I'm... I'm sorry Farah could you excuse me for a moment? I'll be right out, I just have to..."

It's like he's in a daze as he approaches the bedroom, feet moving without his permission and turning the handle without even realising what he's doing. The room is filled with a blue light, crackling around him like electricity, causing all the lights in the apartment to flicker for a brief moment. It makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, tasting metal in his mouth as he pushes the door open to see...

"_Todd?"_

It is, but not really. He looks like he's only half here, flickering in and out with the lights, glitching like a computer screen with a faulty connection, as if one wrong move could wipe him out. Dirk reaches out to him, but doesn't dare take a step closer, frozen in place by some strange hybrid of hope and despair as he watches him flicker like static on an old tv screen.

Todd spots him too, eyes narrowing before blowing wide in disbelief, the manic expression Dirk has seen on him countless times blooming across his face as he shakes his head.

"Dirk! I- what are you-" his words sound all wrong, distorted the way he sounds when Dirk tries to call him from somewhere far underground and the connection is about to break up. "_Where_ are you I don't-"

"Where am _I_? Todd- where are _you!_? We- we're trying to find you, Farah came up with a _plan_ and everything we just need you to..." He trails off, losing his line of thought entirely as he watches the pale, translucent projection of Todd glitch away entirely for a split second, a familiar look of impending horror crossing over his face that fills Dirk's stomach with ice.

"Todd?" he asks, small and scared, taking a hesitant step closer which is entirely useless when he can't _touch_ him but he can't _not_ when Todd is right there and clearly about to have an attack he can't possibly have any way of dealing with when Dirk can still see his pills on the table behind him. _Through_ him. Todd coming back to haunt them as a ghost seems less of a joke right now, only he can't be a ghost because ghosts don't glitch like a bad signal or sound like their mouths are filled with static. They don't stand frozen in the middle of the room somehow growing paler by the second. And it turns out the ghost of Todd wouldn't actually be very shouty at all as Dirk had predicted, because the only sound Todd makes before he completely disappears, is the scream of someone in _unimaginable_ pain that Dirk has heard too many times to misplace.

"Todd!" Dirk shouts, desperate and panicked as the lights return to normal around them, everything rushing back in warm and reassuring like nothing had happened. "He's not- he was _right there_ he was-" he spins around to find Farah watching, eyes shining with unshed tears and fingers pressed to her mouth in a way that lets Dirk know that this really _is_ as worrying as he feels it is. "He- You saw him, didn't you? You _had_ to see him, but how was he-"

"I saw him," she nods, reassuring him before Dirk can start thinking he's _actually_ lost his mind. "Or- I don't know _what_ I saw but... it was- that was _Todd_, somehow. Do you think he's... _here_?"

"I..." Dirk turns back to look at the space he'd disappeared from. The thought that Todd could still be right here tears him in two. On the one hand he wants to run and find him, pull him out of wherever he is and back here where it's _safe_, or at least saf_er._ But then if he's here Dirk doesn't know how he's supposed to _leave_. What if he comes back like that, glitches back into reality to find them gone? What if this is the last connection he has to Todd? What if leaving means they break that connection and they never see him again? Farah is thinking the same thing, he _knows_ she is, and it feels like all of their certainty has evaporated with him.

Dirk looks around at where Todd had been, all of his things strewn about the room, reminders of the fact that he'd been here, an impression of his presence all on their own. The bottle of pills sits innocently on the nightstand, and Dirk wanders over to pick it up, holding it tightly in his hand like a lifeline.

"It doesn't matter." He decides eventually, turning back to Farah more determined than he had been before. "Even if he's stuck between here and wherever he is, he's still not _here_. He's just... trapped somewhere. Alone and..." his grip on the bottle tightens so much he fears he might break it if he's not careful. "We have to find him. I'm _going_ to find him."

It's an impossible task, but Dirk has laughed in the face of the impossible far too many times not to rise to the challenge now. He doesn't think that the universe could have given him a better reason to prove it wrong, and even if that was the point of taking Todd in the first place, Dirk will be damned if this is the time he lets it win.

It would seem Farah feels the same way. She stands a little, tugging her jacket down to straighten it out and wipes the tears that didn't quite make it out from her eyes. The smile she gives him is grim, but it's also determined.

"Lets go," she says decisively, jerking her head towards the door. "I really hope your guy is as useful as you think he is. We need all the help we can get right now."

Dirk casts a last glance towards the room, closing the door gently behind him as he tucks Todd's pills into his jacket pocket and follows Farah out.

"At least we know he's still alive," he offers, more relieved than he could ever express for that fact.

Farah smiles, meeting his determination with her own. "So lets make sure he stays that way."

It would be inaccurate for Dirk to say he has a _good_ feeling about this, but he certainly has a hopeful one. A spark of something that suggests that their odds of pulling this off are more than zero. With everything they're about to walk into looming on the horizon he holds onto that hope as tightly as he can, and promises himself that it will be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3


	6. Six.

Dirk and Farah drive for just over an hour before they pull up in the parking lot of a rundown motel. Dirk immediately goes to hop out of the door, eager to get things started as soon as possible when it's the only way to get Todd back, but Farah puts a hand out to stop him before he can.

"Are you _sure_ about this?" She asks, voice soft and eyebrows furrowed with concern. It's enough to make him smile, reaching out to set his hand over hers reassuringly.

"Of course I am. Besides, if I do turn out to be wrong, I have you!" Dirk understands, to a point, why Farah is worried, but he knows there's no way there's a real threat here. Not only can he _feel_ that it's the right thing to do, but he's been talking to him for some time now on and off, and of all the people from Blackwing he _could_ have ended up dealing with, Dirk can't honestly think of a better one.

Still, Farah sighs heavily as she checks her gun is loaded, gesturing to the door as she climbs out herself, leaving Dirk to follow behind. Dirk hadn't warned him they were coming at Farah's insistence, just in case he was going to tip someone off about their arrival. The only reason they'd found him in the first place is because Farah had tracked his phone signal, and Dirk can't help thinking how lucky he is to have her with him. He loves Todd more than he can say, but if it had been them left and Farah taken, he highly doubts they would have managed to get here quite so efficiently.

Dirk knocks on the door rather cheerily, as Farah readies her gun in a way Dirk considers a bit over dramatic. She's not in the mood to be pushed though, and _he's_ not in the mood for an argument over it, so instead he just waits, bouncing nervously on his toes, until he hears the sound of a bolt being slid out of place, and the door opens as slowly as is possible as Michael sticks his head nervously around the edge of the door, eyes wide as he takes in the sight of them.

"Hello?" At first, Dirk thinks he doesn't recognise him, but then he seems to catch himself in his mistake, mouth pulling into a confused kind of frown as he pulls the door open further. "I mean... you- you _found_ me? That's- what are you _doing_ here?!" He looks around as if to make sure they haven't brought anyone with them, which is exactly when Farah decides she's going to raise her gun.

Even Dirk can admit the way he immediately throws both of his hands into the air like she's going to shoot him right there and then if he doesn't is rather hilarious. Particularly because he's only half dressed, and looks more like a frightened rabbit than anyone who could successfully help them break into a government facility.

"Lieutenant Assistent?" She asks, all business despite the way she'd rolled her eyes at the name (a sentiment Dirk wholeheartedly agreed with), and the man in question swallows before answering.

"I- Yes? Technically? I don't know if- I think they might actually take the rank away from me which _sucks_ because the pay was _really_ good. You wouldn't even-" he seems to catch on that Farah isn't impressed by this, cutting himself off before she can. "I mean, yes. That's me. Unless... unless you're going to shoot me? If you are then I don't know who that is. Please don't."

"_This_ guy worked for _Blackwing_?" She asks, looking at Dirk with what could only be described as _profound_ bewilderment.

"I _know_!" He laughs, gesturing towards him to state his own disbelief. "I _told_ you he wasn't a threat."

"Hey! I could be a threat!" The effect of his protest is lessened somewhat by the fact that his hands are still being held in the air, and when he side-eyes Farah's gun again he seems to realise what he just said. "Or- or not? Probably not. Definitely not. I- Actually do you think we could do this inside? It's just I have... I'm pretty sure I have people looking for me and I don't want to take any chances."

Farah raises her eyebrow as she looks around the room inside, all the windows are covered, curtains drawn somewhat conspicuously in her opinion. "I can see that."

Dirk takes the invitation for what it is, pushing past them both and into the room, looking around at the maps and newspaper printouts strewn about the place. He's not sure how much of it is actually any help to him but it looks like Michael had been trying to stay ahead of Blackwing and considering he's still alive it's either that he's actually managed it, or that they don't consider him enough of a threat to bother with. Dirk picks up a cooling half eaten pot noodle off the side, and helps himself to the contents, shovelling noodles into his mouth as Farah follows him inside and double locks the door behind them.

"You can put your arms down," she says, half exasperated but mostly amused considering she'd already put her gun away and he hadn't made any move to do so.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Right," he agrees, nodding as he wraps his arms around himself and watches them both with wide eyes. "So um, is this like, a _thing_?"

"A thing?" Dirk asks around his mouthful of noodles. "It's certainly _a_ thing, whether it's the sort of thing you're thinking of... well. I doubt it."

"So you've not... come to kill me?"

"_What_?" he appears somewhat scandalised by the question. "No, of _course_ not. I don't know what to do with a body!"

"Right. Cool. I mean, that's... good? But, um. Why are you here then? You didn't say anything and I don't... really have any idea why you'd be here."

He looks more than a little lost, and Dirk takes pity on him, setting his mostly finished pot noodle aside. Michael looks at it forlornly for a moment like he's mourning the fact he never got to eat it himself.

"We need your help. I _really_ don't think you're going to like it, but that's okay because _nobody_ likes it and, well, I don't really think you'll say no. You _do_ keep saying you want to help."

It doesn't seem to reassure him any, but he tries to play it cool anyway. "Oh. Uh, sure I guess? I don't know what I can do but uh, what do you want my help with?"

Dirk looks guiltily at Farah, it's an expression that makes Michael's heart jump to his throat as he gets the feeling that Dirk wasn't lying when he said he wouldn't like it.

"Well you see Michael-"

"It's uh, Mike?" he interrupts, shifting on his feet. "Sorry, I just don't- _nobody,_ only my parents call me Michael."

"Right," Dirk nods, pleased to have something to soften the blow. "The thing is, _Mike_, that we kind of... we need your help with Blackwing related... _things_."

Mike's eyes narrow suspiciously, "What _things_?"

Farah steps forward, finally satisfied with her sweep of the small room, and growing impatient with Dirk's ramblings. "We're going to break in."

It seems to be just enough to finally break him out of his uncertainty and tip him over into manic disbelief.

"Are you _insane_?! You can't _break in_! It's a secure government facility! They'll _kill_ you! Why do you think I'm hiding here?"

"Well to be fair you're not doing a very good _job_ of hiding here. I mean, we found you in no time at all, if they _really_ wanted you dead then they probably would have done it by now!" If Dirk intends it to be reassuring, it doesn't work.

"_Why_ do you want to go back there? I was only there for like, six months and it _sucked_. Do you have _any_ idea how disorganised the filing room was? And my boss was an _idiot._ Not to mention the whole... _human torture_ thing they had going on! You know, when someone offers you a job in a top secret base you'd _think_ it was going to be something _cool_. Not... whatever the hell _that_ was. And then, _then_, if you try and _leave_ they'll probably just _kill_ you because it's all _top secret_ and they can't just let you walk away with all those secrets. You know three of the people I worked with disappeared? It's a _conspiracy_, and it's not even a _good_ one! And then apparently the new guy is just like, ten times worse so I _really_ don't know why the _hell_ you want to go back there unless you have an actual _deathwish_!"

Both Dirk and Farah look on in mild surprise at his outburst, clearly not having expected anything of the sort, watching as Mike pulls up a chair and drops down in it, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face into his hands.

"Look," Dirk says after a moment, Mike peeks out from behind his fingers to look at him warily. "I know better than _anyone_ why it seems _insane_ to go back there, but we don't really have a _choice_. The universe is- something is going _wrong_, and I can't explain it, but I think that... _maybe_ with the right help I could _fix_ it. And if I don't then we're all probably going to die anyway so there's no real harm in trying! It's just that... we have everything we need to get in there except someone who knows how it works, or even just where things _are_, and without that we're guaranteed to fail. We- _I_ need your help, and I _know_ you didn't mean to get caught up in this but, well, you are now. And I suppose, since you keep _saying_ you want to try and make up for it, helping us save the universe might be a good place to start."

There's a long moment where Mike just looks at him, conflict written all over his face in the form of guilt, hope, and a million questions, but eventually he just finds himself sighing heavily, dragging his hands down his face to look between Dirk and Farah.

"Something is wrong with _the universe_?" he asks, like it's something he'd like very much to not be true but isn't holding out too much hope.

"Yes. Or, well, we think so. It keeps... _stealing_ people. And an entire street, actually, but most importantly it stole my _boyfriend_ and I would very much like him back so..." he thinks he already knows the answer, but it's worth asking anyway. "Will you help us?"

"I mean, yeah. Of course I'll help you that's... I don't think I really have a choice? Not that you're making me! Just, you know, _circumstances_. If we're going to die if we don't then that's... reasonable. Man, I _hate_ this."

"We all do," Dirk assures him, grinning sunnily as he claps him on the shoulder. "Now, Farah needs to know _everything_ you can tell her. Technical things and... organising-y things? She'll ask the questions! But we _do_ need to get a move on so if we _could_ get going it would be much appreciated!"

Mike smiles back, a little nervously, especially when his eyes dart over to Farah who seems to have given up on trying to intimidate him and instead is sifting through his papers looking for something useful.

"Okay, I don't have much anyway so it’s… whatever. But like, uh- are we gonna like, stop for food or something? Because you kinda... ate my pot noodle?"

"Ah," Dirk's eyes flicker over to said abandoned pot noodle where it sits sadly on the desk. "Yes. I believe that could be arranged," Dirk smiles tightly, patting him on the shoulder in a way that indicates apology even if Mike doesn't know that.

"So..." he swallows, working his way around his words as he sets about gathering his things, trying to keep his hands busy and his head preoccupied so he doesn't work himself into a blind panic. "When you say _everything_ what do you mean because I know... I know a _lot_ of stuff. My boss thought I was... well. He kinda gave me access to a lot of stuff I shouldn't have seen? But I uh, kinda just... looked into it anyway because he couldn't run anything if he tried. I think... I have _no_ idea how he got that job. But I have no idea how _I_ got that job so it's... you know. That place is a _mess_."

"Anything that could be helpful," Farah clarifies, setting aside the papers she wants to keep. "Where the control room is, guard rotatations, general layout and exits of the building. Codes, passwords, where keys are kept, where we're likely to run into trouble, where the safest ways through are. Anything else we can think of. We need to be _prepared_ and we don't have any other way of _doing_ that so... as much as I don't like it, when it comes to getting in and out safely, you're our only hope."

"I'm your Obi-Wan?" he asks, startled but delighted in a way that goes right over Dirk's head and makes Farah roll her eyes.

"Just- make sure you're telling me as much as you can. It's a long drive, we have time."

He nods frantically, shoving the last of his things into a bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "I can do that. Anything you need. I'll be... trapped in the car with you so. You'll know where to find me."

Farah gives him a long look before pointing to the door, regretting the fact that she's going to be stuck with Dirk and Mike this whole time in one confined space already. Mike just follows her lead though, which she has to admit is _refreshing_ when she's used to dealing with Dirk which is like trying to keep track of multiple children all at once, and Todd which is more like dealing with an over-argumentative angry chihuahua. Even so she takes a moment to herself before going out to join them.

Dirk is already settled in the driver’s seat, something that makes her stomach flip nauseously before she's even in the car but even she can begrudgingly admit it's the most practical option right now, and she grits her teeth as she climbs into the passenger seat, watching Mike hug his bag to his chest anxiously as he sits back and watches the motel room out of the window.

"Everybody ready?" Dirk asks, starting up the engine with a smile that Farah _knows_ comes solely from the fact that he's being allowed to drive, for better or worse.

It doesn't matter either way, because it would seem that the universe has other ideas for them when a second before Dirk can take his foot off the brake, someone crashes into them with enough force to shake the car. 

Everyone sits in stunned silence for a moment, Dirk’s hands clenched white knuckled around the wheel as he tries to work out what happened, when somehow, _miraculously_, the human-shaped lump lying on the floor _speaks_.

“Hey! Watch where you’re putting your car!”

Farah frowns, turning to Dirk with a puzzled expression as Dirk stares back at her, wide eyed and helpless in the face of this new development that he should have seen coming, but was somehow holding out hope that because it hadn’t happened by now it wouldn’t at all. 

“_Shit_.”

It would appear his luck on that particular front had worn off, just in time for the road trip of a lifetime. At least the universe wasn’t broken enough to have lost its sense of humour.

In the end, when she sits up from the road to stare blearily at them, Dirk isn’t able to find himself comforted by that at all.

***

"Ya look scared," she grins across the back seat at Mike who has crowded himself into the corner to put as much distance between them as possible.

"I'm- I'm not, I'm just-"

"No offence Bart, but you _are_ some kind of... _murder machine_." Dirk pipes up in his defence, hands gripped far too tightly around the steering wheel as his eyes flick to the rearview mirror for the fifth time this minute. The nerves are practically _radiating_ off of him, it's not doing his driving any favours. "What are you even _doing_ here?"

Bart shrugs, scratching at her head. "I wasn' goin' anywhere, I just... got a feelin', ya know? Everythin's been real weird lately. I haven't killed nobody or nothin! Just... real quiet. An' so they were tryin' to keep me but I said I gotta go, an' I got all the way out here before you showed up and hit me!"

"I didn't hit you! _You_ hit_ us_!" Dirk protests, only just keeping the car on track with the way it makes him jerk the steering wheel in indignation. "What do you mean they were trying to keep you? _Who_ were..." Dirk trails off when the realisation hits him, and this time his glancing is somewhat more sympathetic.

"You were in Blackwing?" Farah asks, frown forming on her face. "And you just... walked out?"

"Yeah. Ken's no fun anymore, an' everyone there's real _boring_. They used to play games, now they jus' wanna sit in the dark an' ask questions. I got the feelin' though, reckon you know the one," she nudges the back of the driver’s seat with her foot and Dirk shoots her a warning glare. "An' then there was all these... _numbers_ in my head all… _loud_ and stuff? Made me _real_ tired, and after that I jus' came here."

"Well of _course_ you did," Dirk complains. "It's got everyone else involved, why _not_ you! And it could have had the courtesy to have you turn up when we could have sent you with the bloody Rowdy Three, but that would have been too _convenient_ wouldn't it? It's bad _enough_ that I have to go back to bloody _Blackwing_ of all places but now I have to do it while hoping _you_ don't kill me too!"

Bart rolls her eyes, clearly over the conversation. "_Dirk_, I have not killed you. You've seen me _so_ many times an' not _once_ have I killed you! _She's_ the one doing _stabby_ things!” She protests, pointing an accusatory finger at Farah. “I haven't even _felt_ like killin' lately. I don't do it if I don't have to."

Dirk scoffs, but doesn't comment. Farah thinks somewhere he knows she means it. Even so, none of them are particularly comfortable with having her here, so she's just going to have to assume there's a good reason for it. Even so, she doesn’t bother trying to explain the notion of self defense to her, not while they’re trapped in a small space together for the foreseeable future. 

"I uh," Mike pipes up, clearing his throat as he looks at Bart. "Sorry... ma'am? It's just... you said you _weren't_ killing anyone? Which is, you know, good for you! It's just... isn't that kind of what you... _do_?"

"I mean, _kinda_," she agrees, rolling her head to watch him sideways along the back of the seat. "But only if it _wants_ me to. If I don't got instructions, I don't got a job." She watches him for a moment before her eyes narrow and she moves to lean in curiously. "How'd you know that anyways? I ain't never seen you before."

"Oh! Um, I-" Mike glances nervously between her and the others, trying to find the best way to word it. "I read your file?"

There's a moment of silence before Bart barks out a laugh, throwing her head back with delight and grinning wide enough that all of her teeth are on show when she looks back to him. "Oh yeah? What'd it say?"

"It... it said that you were dangerous? And that- your body count was _incredibly_ high and honestly I don't think I should even _know_ that but my boss? He didn't read _anything_ so he had no idea what he was doing and I just... he told me to read them." He swallows, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights. "Sorry."

After a minute of consideration Bart tilts her head at him. "You know Ken?"

"Um, not really? I wasn't- I mean, he was there when I was there. But, you know, I didn't really talk to him. Anyone. The structure was kind of a mess so I just... tried to stay out of a lot of it? But... he seemed to uh, know what he was doing?"

"He's real serious now," Bart sighs, flopping back in her seat. "S'always been boring there. Thought maybe he'd make it fun."

"Nothing about _Blackwing_ is fun," Dirk tells her. "But I suppose... it could help, if you know him? He might listen to you."

Bart smirks, leaning forward to peer over his shoulder. "Ain't nobody listenin' to the likes of us in there."

Dirk swallows, keeping his eyes as fixed to the road as possible even when it's more like he's looking through it than at it.

"It's a good job that we don't _want_ them to then." Farah breaks the tension, opening her laptop and resting it on her knees. "We need to plan our way in so we're least likely to be seen or heard. So..." she watches Bart until she leans back, no longer hovering over Dirk's shoulder. He visibly relaxes at the distance, and Bart turns her attention back to Mike, following Farah’s gaze to meet his. "Start from the top and tell me everything you can think of."

"You know that won't stop you dyin', right?" She asks him as he moves to look at the notes Farah already has. "S'just a matter of time."

The weight of her gaze is almost too heavy but Mike can't bring himself to look away, there's something there that's too much to handle, even if he has no idea what it could possibly mean. He’s used to that though, not understanding things but trying his best to deal with them anyway. He doesn’t always _manage_ the dealing part, but he thinks he can handle something like this.

"Well," he starts, the word sounding unfairly nervous. "I'll last a lot longer if you're not killing people. Right?"

Bart cackles, clearly delighted as she smacks him on the shoulder harder than necessary, making him wince with the force of it.

“Oh boy, I hope I don’t gotta get you. That’d be a real shame.”

Mike seems almost pleased to have made her laugh, but it doesn’t quite offset the strangeness of what he can only assume is meant to be a compliment. He tries to find it reassuring though, doing his best to think about ways to _not_ die when he turns back to Farah and starts to hesitantly make suggestions on her notes. 

Dirk tries his best to focus on the road, but he does risk a nervous glance over at where Mike is pointing animatedly at Farah’s screen. When he looks back to the rearview mirror he finds Bart watching him, a meaningful smile set on her face in a way that only makes the sinking feeling in his stomach grow stronger. He forces himself to look away, gluing his eyes to the road instead, and trying to promise himself that no matter what happens, if they can just get to Todd it will be worth it. 

***

Dirk has never seen Blackwing from the outside before, at least not past stolen glances as he ran away. He'd been holding out hope that the coordinates were leading them somewhere else, trying his best to believe that they'd gotten it wrong despite all signs to the contrary. And even then he'd almost expected it to feel like a relief when they'd gotten here, knowing that it meant they were closer to finding Todd than ever. He'd wanted that to feel like a good thing.

Instead there's a familiar sense of dread that dawns upon him when Farah finally pulls over, shaking him out of his nap with a soft warning to keep quiet. The realisation that it's so close makes every cell in his body want to drag him as far as he can possibly get in the opposite direction, but that may also be down to the splitting headache.

"You can hear it too, huh?" Bart asks, her attempt at a whisper seeming even louder than her speaking voice and grating on his ears. "’S worse up here."

Dirk blinks at her, shaking his head as if to clear it but being unable to rid himself of the screeching white noise he'd last heard when Todd had reappeared for a split second in their bedroom. It sounds far off, nowhere near as loud but just as grating, and despite the way it turns his stomach he knows without a doubt that it means they're in the right place.

"Can you?" Farah asks, tilting her head. "Hear something, I mean. Because I- _we_ can't hear anything."

Mike nods his agreement, concern written all over his face as he looks Dirk over worriedly. He looks tired, he notes, and wonders if he managed to get any sleep at all sat next to Bart. She looks a little discomforted but mostly unaffected by the noise, and Dirk wonders if it's quieter for her or if how much it's bothering her just doesn’t show.

"I can hear it," he agrees. "I don't know what it _is_, but... it sounds like the phones so we must be in the right place." Dirk yawns, stretching out his arms and trying to shake some life back into them. "What now?"

"We need to wait for Amanda." Farah sighs, and Dirk presumes that's who she's texting. "They got here before us but we're still a way out and we'll have to walk from here if we don't want to get caught. They're round the other side so they're coming to meet us."

Dirk nods, grimacing as he tries his best to peel himself off the seat. "And we're just going to _walk in_?"

"No," Mike says, smiling apologetically as he hands over a bottle of water that Dirk takes to with enthusiasm. "Well. Kind of? There's a gate, we need to wait until the guard leaves and... Friedkin gave me all the codes, so as long as they haven't changed them I should be able to get us in through there. If we're lucky."

"Ain't no such thing as luck," Bart tells him helpfully around her granola bar.

"Your plan is to wait for the guard to leave?" Dirk scoffs, rolling his eyes. "I _hardly_ think Blackwing is so incompetent as to leave their main gate unguarded. Won't someone else just... come and take over?"

Mike's eyes dart to Farah for a second, before he looks anywhere _but_ at Dirk. "Murphy works the gate on Tuesdays, hardly anyone comes in or out so... when _Casey_ comes to do his perimeter check they um... take a break. Together."

"Well surely they won't be so distracted that they-"

"They're having an affair!" There's a blush rising on Mike's cheeks that he resolutely decides to ignore for the sake of his own sanity.

"Oh." Dirk says, and then after a moment, "_Oh!_ I see. Well that's... _why_ do you know that exactly?"

"Um," he swallows heavily, shrugging one of his shoulders. "I... there are cameras _everywhere,_ man! It's hard _not_ to know! I mean... I wish I _didn't_ but it's- sometimes I had to monitor security and it just... it's not like I could tell them to _stop!_"

"You _watched_?" It's hard to tell if Dirk sounds offended or delighted, and they all choose not to read into it too deeply.

"No! Not... on purpose?" He sighs, sitting back in his seat. "Look it was... there was a _lot_ going on and you just kind of... pick up on things when people don't notice you're there. They can't have _not_ known that the camera was there so... I tried to ignore it."

"You've gone a real funny colour," Bart laughs, poking at his cheek where the blush has risen to his face. Farah is biting her lip against a smile, and Dirk is just about managing to hide his own. It's enough to make Mike roll his eyes.

"Look, it's coming in useful now isn't it? So we can just... forget about it.” He sounds a little desperate, running his fingers through his hair. “I wish I could."

"Oh it's _incredibly_ useful Michael," Dirk teases. "I'm sure you did a very _admirable_ job."

Mike huffs, but finds himself smiling too when the tension has broken. It's almost _nice,_ if none of them think about why they're here.

"Could always just kill 'em." Bart offers.

"No!" Everyone shouts simultaneously, turning towards her with various degrees of concern. "Absolutely _not_!"

"Was just an offer, jeez." She holds her hands up, smirking to herself. "Locks don't work on me anyways, bet I could walk right in."

"And get yourself captured, most likely," Dirk chastises. "We're here to _save_ people, not kill them. Or at least... not unless it's _absolutely_ necessary and even then I'd rather you didn't. Just..." he shakes his head like he's already going to regret his words. "As much as I hate to admit it, we do actually _need_ you. So... please just _try_ to not kill anyone?"

Bart eyes him carefully, and Dirk doesn't want to say there's something like hope in her eyes but there's certainly a connection there. The same one he'd felt when they first met, the same one he'd been trying to ignore ever since.

"Guess we're friends now, huh?" She smiles, slouching down happily in her seat. "I'll kill 'em if I have to, if I don't I won't. You know."

He does know, better than anyone, and sometimes he wonders if they'd met on better terms they'd have talked about it by now. Dirk wants to think they could understand each other, but he fears understanding as much as he craves it, and the thought of the only person to ever _truly_ understand him, to experience the universe in the same way as him, being a person who defined themselves as a Holistic _Assassin?_ He isn't sure he can handle that.

"Just... _try_." It's hypocritical for him to say, but he says it anyway. He knows it's not that simple, it never _is_, but he doesn't want to go into this thinking that there will be a _need_ to kill people, even if he knows she's right.

He doesn't have to dwell on it anyway in the end, because just as he's starting to worry about what they're walking into the familiar rumbling of the Rowdy Three approaching sounds through the trees around them. By the time it pulls to a stop, all Dirk can think about is that if Blackwing _is_ going to try and take them down, they might actually be able to put up a fight. He can hope.

***

Todd stopped walking a while ago.

It's not that he's tired, not really. He can feel somewhere that he _is,_ but wherever that exhaustion is it doesn't reach his body the same way it usually would. It's enough to make him wonder if he even _has_ a body here, but that's just another thing he really doesn't want to think about. The mental exhaustion is present though. He'd walked and walked and never gotten _anywhere_. The vast expanse of nothing is just that, _nothing_. Completely empty, completely alone, and Todd doesn't know how much more of it he can _take_.

There had been a moment, a split second, where he'd seen Dirk and everything had been okay. He didn't understand how, but he hadn't _cared_, not until he'd truly _felt_ every atom of himself being stretched across multiple dimensions, and then all he'd been able to do was _scream_. For the briefest amount of time it was like he'd existed everywhere, all at once, and the pain of it had been far more than any attack he'd ever had before right up until he'd snapped back to _here_ and it had all disappeared to somewhere else. The same place his hunger and ability to sleep had gone he imagines. Not with him. It feels so strange in a way he can't justify to himself. He knows he has to stop thinking about it before it drives him crazy, but he's starting to wonder if there's any point trying to delay the inevitable when it's starting to look like he's never getting out of here.

Todd has no idea how long it's been since he'd managed to break through to where Dirk was. It feels like it had only just happened, like if he closes his eyes he'll see the look on his face from mere seconds ago. But at the same time it feels like years, like he's forgetting the sound of Dirk's voice, like he's forgetting everything that isn't just here and this and _nothing_. It's impossible to keep track of time here. All he knows is it's been too long, that it's going to be longer, and there's every chance he can't even _die_ here. And so he'd stopped.

Instead, Todd lies on what he's calling the floor, staring up into the swirling white and blue of the universe laid out above him, and wondering at what it all could mean. Even when he squeezes his eyes closed he can see it, the matter that somehow makes up everything dancing on the back of his eyelids, even when he turns away he can feel it in the back of his mind. So mostly he just stares, flat out on his back, trying to work out how anything could possibly be significant in the face of all _this._ He lets himself wonder if this is what Dirk sees, thinks about the possibility that he could understand it. It seems impossible that anyone could, that there could be someone out there who could point to each individual speck of light and tell him what it was, what part of the world it represented. He wonders if it would be possible to find himself up there, and thinks that even if it _were_ it would hardly be worth it. His point of light would be a dull, insignificant thing, likely doused out entirely by the brightness of the people around him. He doesn't think he'd mind.

There's a lot of time to think, a lot of things to think about, and as much as his hope of being rescued or finding a way out grows weaker by the second there's only one thing he can cling to with absolute certainty. That if any of them could have ended up here, condemned to wander an eternity in some kind of universal purgatory, he'd want it to be him over the people he loves any day.

It's the only thing he has left to hold onto, the knowledge that at least if this is it for him, then at least it _is_ him and not them. But it seems a small comfort when he doesn't know where they are, if they're safe or if they've been taken too. Dirk had told him that Farah had a plan, he'd _asked_ him to hold on, and Todd didn't have a way to promise him that he would, but after everything he's lost faith in recently the one thing Todd can believe in above all else is Dirk Gently. He _can't_ lose sight of that now.

In the end he supposes there's nothing he can do but wait, he just wishes there was a way to do that without staring down his own insignificance in the workings of the universe laid out above him. He hopes there's more to all of this than the scene itself would suggest, but the only way to know if anything matters at all, is to see what comes of this. Todd closes his eyes against the lights, reaching his hand out next to him like it will stretch across time and space to find Dirk’s to hold onto.

No matter how far he reaches, there’s nothing but cold lonely emptiness around him. 

He screws his eyes shut as tight as he can, curling his fingers closed around nothing, and swallows back his tears.

Dirk is looking for him. He _has_ to be. He just has to make sure he’s not lost his mind when he gets here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3


	7. Seven.

"This is insane," Dirk mutters to himself as they make their way closer to the gate. "This is _insane_. What am I _doing_? There's no _way_-" he's cut off when Farah turns to glare at him, pressing her finger to her lips emphatically before turning away. Dirk glares back, but it's half hearted at best, he's mostly trying to stop himself from turning tail and running, heart beating a mile a minute in his chest as his hands shake treacherously with fear.

Martin claps a steadying hand on his shoulder and it almost makes him scream. He seems to have a strange knack for keeping quiet when he wants to, and Dirk wonders if there would be any way to get him to use that ability more often.

"They ain't gonna take you," he tells him, voice kept low and quiet as he keeps his eyes focused somewhere ahead of them. Dirk smiles, still shaky and afraid, but there nonetheless. He wonders how he could explain to him that being taken is only the tip of a very large iceberg when it comes to what he's afraid of. If he's honest, Dirk doesn't think he could explain it to _himself_, he just knows that with every step they take the feeling of _wrong_ grows stronger, almost enough to override the tug of the the universe that keeps pulling him onwards. It makes him feel sick and scared, like a frightened child readying himself to peer under the bed to see the monster hiding underneath.

He wants Todd.

The thought is nearly enough to make him cry, because Todd isn't _here._ Not that Dirk wants Todd _anywhere_ near Blackwing, but that doesn't mean he's not the first thing on his mind when he's afraid like this. He wants to hold his hand, wants the way he always squeezes reassuringly when he can tell he's getting agitated, the way he absently rubs his thumb over the back of Dirk's when he's trying to think of a way out of something. He wants to be able to look over and see him, likely complaining about the fact that they're traipsing through a forest but still smiling when Dirk catches his gaze. Dirk wants Todd here to _say_ things to him, to tell him he can do this when Dirk feels like he can't, to remind him that he _needs_ to do this when all he wants to do is run and hide, to promise that he'll be right there with him, a solid, stubborn, beacon of hope in the face of Dirk's unrelenting uncertainty. It's not like he didn't know how much he relied on Todd, but somehow it makes him feel even more afraid when he isn't.

Todd isn't here, and that's Dirk's fault. Only he can put it right, and even then he doesn't truly know if he even _can_. But he has to _try_, he has to do everything he can, because a world without Todd in it isn't a world Dirk wants to live in, and he hasn't had chance to tell him that often enough. He hasn't had the chance to do _anything_ often enough, and Dirk decides then and there that no matter what, as soon as he finds Todd he is _never_ going to let him go again. He'll handcuff them together if he has to, he can stand the complaints if it means that he's there. He feels his absence like a hole has been punched right through him where his heart should be, and he has absolutely no intention of letting anything like this happen again.

Still, when Farah puts her hand out to stop them in their tracks his heart jumps back into his throat, palms sweating when he curls his fingers around the edges of his sleeves and peers out over her shoulder to look at the gates in front of them.

"How long have we got?" She asks Mike, who looks at his watch and chews nervously on his lip.

"About five minutes?" he estimates, watching the perimeter for signs of life. "We'll have to wait for them to leave, and they'll be gone for ten after that. I'll go in and open the gate, see if I can redirect the cameras while I'm there."

"Are you sure you know the codes?"

"As long as they haven't changed them," he points when the person he'd been waiting for approaches. "Casey. I wish everything else had run this efficiently."

Farah rolls her eyes, checking her gun and crouching a little lower. "Everyone else know what they're doing?"

"We'll take the west wing," Amanda grins, swinging her baseball bat over her shoulder. "Create a distraction, while you guys go and kick some ass."

"We'll be trying _not_ to have to do that." Farah looks over at the Rowdies, who look more excited than anything about the prospect of being let loose on the facility with the sole instruction to cause as much chaos as is possible. Looking at the way Vogel is all but vibrating with excitement as he holds himself back, she can't see that being an issue. "Try and get in as far as possible before you do that, okay? We need as much time as we can before they know we're here, and then we need you to draw as many of them as you can away from us. Dirk, did you say you know where we're going?"

"I- In _theory_. I only went there once and even then it was... not completely ideal situations for remembering things. I know what to do when we get there but-"

"I know." Mike interjects, "or at least... I think I do? If it's what you described I mean, it's kinda closed off, nobody goes down there anymore, but I know where it is. We'll manage."

Dirk nods his agreement, happy that it doesn't all rest on his shoulders when he has other things to panic over, namely what he has to do once they get there.

"I'm lookin' after you," Bart grins, nudging Dirk almost hard enough to send him toppling over. "Gotta make sure ya don't die."

"Yes, _thank you_ for that," he grumbles, dusting imaginary dirt off his jacket and pretending that he isn't at least somewhat relieved to know he'll have people looking out for him. It's the slamming of a door that pulls all of their attention back to the gate, watching as the two guards disappear into an outhouse and leave the operating station unguarded.

"I guess I should..." Mike trails off, swallowing as he checks his own gun with wide eyes. "I'll see you there?"

"Yes, go," Farah urges, aware of the limited time they have to pull this off. Dirk just manages to call after him as he takes a steadying breath and sets out to let them in.

"Good luck!" It's whispered, but he hopes he hears it anyway, because the only other thing he can do is watch, wide-eyed, and hope nothing goes wrong.

Farah taps her fingers against her thigh as they wait, the seconds tick by _excruciatingly_ slowly, and it feels like _everyone_ is holding their breath. Amanda reaches out to take Dirk's hand, smiling reassuringly when he turns to look at her, and he does his best to mirror the expression on his own face, squeezing her hand in thanks, and almost wishing he never had to let go.

She drops it herself when the gate _finally_ slides open, the grating it makes is unpleasant but seemingly not loud enough to alert the guards, which is enough for Farah to nod to herself before waving them all over.

Martin goes first, Gripps and Cross following him, Amanda taking Vogel's hand as they trail after them. Bart takes one look at Dirk and forcibly drags him with her, which despite his protests he can recognise as a good thing when his body had all but seized up and remained frozen to the spot. Farah brings up the rear, gun ready and eyes peeled as she keeps an eye out for any possible disruptions to their plan, but it hardly feels like any time at all before they're crossing over, gate sliding shut behind them, and Mike is holding a set of keys out to her like he can't believe his luck.

"They're for security," he tells her. "You can lock down the whole building from there. I don't know the systems but... it seems like a useful thing to have?"

Farah's eyebrows are raised in a way that indicates that she's impressed, even if Mike doesn't know her well enough to know that. "Yeah, yes, that's... incredibly useful. Thank you?"

"Guys?" Amanda sounds worried, and when Farah turns to her it's obvious why. The rest of their party has stopped, Dirk, Bart, and the Rowdies are all staring over at the building with increasingly worried looks on their faces, and even though Farah _knows_ that they have... _something_ in common, she's never seen something _quite_ so concrete before. It's eerie, and she doesn't like it at all.

"Dirk?" She asks gently, placing a hand on his shoulder that makes him jump. When he looks at her he looks more terrified than she thinks she's ever seen him.

"Something is wrong," he tells her, voice hushed. "It's like before but... I can _feel_ it here, like... everything is unravelling. It's... a _million_ things all at once. The whole thing is..."

"Givin' me the heebie-jeebies," Gripps agrees, nodding his head.

"It sure don't feel right." Martin tightens his grip on the crowbar he's holding, eyes flickering over the space like he can work out what's wrong that way.

"Ain't felt nothin' like this before." Bart seems uneasy herself, and even though Mike can't feel it he finds himself staring at the spot he knows Blackwing is buried, wringing his hands together with his nerves.

"Isn't that what we came to fix?" Amanda asks, trying to act like she's more okay with the situation than she is. "Like, the universe is all fucked up? I thought we were _going_ to the worst of it, right? It has to be like, super weird here if it's weird everywhere else, right?"

"Drummer's got a point," Martin drawls, seemingly coming back to himself and turning sharp eyes on Farah. Dirk wrings his hands together, nodding to himself because they can't stay here for much longer and they certainly can't go back, he's just not looking forward to the idea of having to contend with Blackwing _and_ the epicentre of whatever it is that's messing the universe up so badly.

"We should go." It's decisive, and Dirk finds himself glad for the fact that Farah has a seemingly unwavering ability to get into the right headspace for what needs to be done. He'll have to tell her sometime, if they all make it out of this, just how much of a difference she makes in their lives.

They all trail after her, following her lead as she seems to be the only one determined enough to march into their uncertain fate, and when she slides the keycard Mike had picked up through the lock on the door, it opens immediately.

They all file inside, pressing to the walls of the narrow corridor they've found themselves in, he'd all but forgotten how claustrophobic the facility felt and they're not even underground yet. Farah looks to Amanda, tilting her head to indicate which direction she should be going. She and the Rowdies all ready their weapons, preparing themselves to do what they do best.

"Be careful," Dirk urges in a hushed whisper as Farah checks the next corridor is clear.

"Remember, not until you have to. Alright?"

"You got it," Martin nods, a chorus of agreement mumbled by the others. Dirk thinks for once he's actually glad to have them here. It's a small wonder what potential-death situations can do for fraught relationships. He hardly has much more time to muse on it, before Farah gives them the go ahead and they file off down the stairs and into the west wing. The realisation that they're actually _doing_ this is almost too much for a second, watching them go with an ache in his chest and the feeling he should have said a better goodbye.

"Hey," he looks up to find Mike watching him. "It's uh, going to be okay man. I mean, maybe not. But... the panicking thing? I get it. You've just got to, um... hold it together for now? And then once it's over you can freak out and cry about it. That's... what I did. Do. It kinda works?"

The look Farah gives him at that is judgemental at best, and Dirk thinks he should freak out at the fact that their guide is apparently _also_ a neurotic mess but he finds it oddly reassuring in the end.

"Well. We did alright last time I suppose. Even if you _are_ a fugitive now, and I got shot, and Friedkin died, and... well okay maybe we don't want a _perfect_ repeat of that but I suppose what I'm saying is... we'll _definitely_ be around to cry about it later. Farah's here, she's great."

"I'm here too," Bart raises her hand. "'Cept I'm not supposed t'kill anybody."

Dirk gives her a strained smile, and pats her hesitantly on the shoulder. "And we're very glad to have you."

She looks from his hand to his face in confusion and he withdraws it carefully. In a way he's relieved because if she'd reciprocated in any way he thinks he may have screamed and blown their cover entirely.

Eventually Farah moves down the stairs, beckoning them out to follow her, and despite the fact that none of them really _want_ to, they all find themselves trailing after her.

Dirk is descending back into a place he swore he'd never go to again, but if it's the only way to get Todd back then not even Blackwing is enough to stop him, or at least he has to hope that's true because if it's not it's fair to say that everyone on the planet is completely and utterly screwed.

***

The longer they go on without issue, the more nervous Dirk gets.

He understands in theory that the universe _wants_ him to be here, wants him to fix whatever mess it is that it's gotten itself into, but seeing as things _never_ run smoothly for him it's not making him feel any better. Every step makes him feel less and less able to breathe, the fact that they have to keep quiet means every sound makes him jump, and Michael was right when he said that the part of the facility he could find the equipment he needed was relatively disused, but even if there's nobody here now the memories of what had been here haunt him, along with the constant ache of something being _terribly_ wrong that even has Bart on edge. It's safe to say he's not feeling his best.

Then, because clearly the universe needs to make it known that it's having a _very_ rough time of it, the world around them shifts ever so slightly to the right. They find themselves tumbling to the floor when the wall they were pressed against jumps through physical space to a new location, and it barely takes a second of glancing around in bleary-eyed confusion for the alarms to start blaring, flashing red lights along the wall.

"What the _hell_ was that?" Farah hisses, readying her gun as she pulls herself back to her feet. "That's not- that's not _possible_ why would it..."

Dirk places his hands flat against the wall, leaning against it as if he can push it back. "Nope, not moving, _completely_ stuck. Either that was a very bad practical joke or we can _assume_ that we're heading in the right direction."

"How..." Mike looks at him, panic written all over his face as he backs away from the wall like it might grow teeth and eat him. He seems to remember that he has a gun a second later, and pulls it out to point it at the concrete. "How are you _okay_ with this?! The _wall_ just... _moved!"_

Dirk, heedless of the gun if only for the fact that he doesn't think he's _actually_ going to shoot him, grabs Mike by the shoulders and shakes him a little. "The last time I was here you were chased by knights from another dimension, we opened a portal to another world, and I stole the boy who made it who was for all intents and purposes a _god_. You worked here! You read the files! Things are _weird_, and maybe I _don't_ have any aliens for you, but what I _do_ have is a _very_ sick universe that _will_ kill us all if we don't do something about it so _please_, just show us where we're going before we all _die!_"

It's just like last time, where it had turned out that meeting Mike with the same kind of panic he was feeling himself helped to screw his head on enough to get him moving. Dirk is more than grateful that he too is quite a panicky person by nature, or god only knows how long they would have been stuck there. As it is Michael finds himself nodding, putting his gun away as he tries to centre himself, and eyeing the wall suspiciously as he takes a step away from it.

"We uh, need to take a left down here. If it's still there, I guess. This is the stupidest- I should've just stayed at McDonalds." They start walking again, with a little more urgency this time, and Dirk is still suspicious of the lack of guards but he'll take what he can get.

"Mcwhatsit?" Bart asks, falling into step with Mike and eyeing him like he's a curiosity she just picked up off the street.

"McDonalds?" he frowns. "The burger place? I got a job there when I was sixteen and... you'd _think_ that's about as bad as it can get and then next thing you know you've _somehow_ ended up in a secure government facility that's in _no_ way ethical which... honestly I maybe should have seen coming, but I _didn't_ and now I'm gonna _die_ if they find out I'm still alive because they _do_ that you know? The government? If you run off with secrets they just... _kill_ you. Although I suppose being _dead_ would be _way_ less stressful."

Bart laughs, entertained by his rambling and it seems to be working to calm him down some. "I know _loadsa_ dead people," she tells him. "Guess it is pretty quiet after. For some of 'em anyway."

"How-" he casts her a worried look. "How do you know that?"

"I don't," she shrugs. "Or sorta like... after? When I kill them? They go _real_ quiet. Never had anyone not. But if they're real loud before they might be after. Depends I guess."

"On what?"

"I dunno," she side eyes him. "Stuff."

Dirk has been listening to their conversation with a growing sense of dread, putting one foot in front of the other and forcing himself to keep going because it's the only way he can keep himself upright.

"Can we _please_ stop talking about _death_?" He asks, rubbing at his temples. "How much longer is this going to _take?_ And why won't they turn the _bloody_ sirens off!"

"I'm guessing they encountered our decoys," Farah tells him, stopping when they finally reach a set of stairs leading down to a heavy metal door. "Is this it?"

Dirk pauses in his glaring at the warning lights to turn to Farah in surprise. They _had_ been walking for quite a while he supposes, digging themselves deeper and deeper into the ground as they'd wound their way through maze like corridors and deserted rooms. It's enough to make Dirk wonder if the universe had been stealing people here too, with how _wrong_ this place feels he wouldn't be surprised, it seems that it had started here anyway and it would certainly account for the lack of personnel. Dirk finds himself glued to the spot, unable to take the couple of steps forward to look at the door he already _knows_ has to be the right one. Getting in here had only been the first step, and as much as it had terrified him, what lies beyond that door terrifies him even more. He finds himself childishly thinking that it's not _fair._

"Dirk," Farah pushes, urgency flooding her voice as she watches the corridor behind them. "Is this the right place?"

"I..." there's no point denying it, no point not facing his fears. If he doesn't do this then the universe is guaranteed to keep folding in on itself, he hasn't come this far to turn away now, and he doesn't think the universe would actually _let_ him if he tried. "Yes. Yes, that's- that's it."

It's all the go ahead Farah needs to press the handle, cursing when she finds it locked. "I don't suppose you know where the keys are?" She asks Mike, who shrugs and turns his palms up in apology.

"Nobody has been down here in _years_. It's supposed to stay locked, they didn't have any use for it after..." he trails off, eyes going to Dirk for the briefest of moments. "Sorry."

Farah slams her hand against the door, stepping away to pace in front of it, wracking her brains for a way through. "We could just _shoot_ the lock out, but it's metal and this is a small space, the chance of ricochet is _far_ too high. I suppose we could try and force it open, but it looks reinforced and- _what are you doing?_"

Bart smiles at her as she pushes down the handle, the door sticking for a moment before it swings open with an ungodly creaking sound, the room inside pitch black and stale.

"Told ya, locks don't work on me." Farah stares at her, wide eyed with disbelief at the sight of the now opened door. No matter how many times she sees the strangeness of the universe laid out in front of her it never stops being, well, _strange_.

Mike has a similarly disbelieving look on his face, if also completely amazed at what he'd just seen. Bart grins when she catches sight of it, tilting her head towards the open door. "Watcha all just standin' there for?"

It’s enough to bring them back to their senses, and Farah makes her way inside, reaching for the lightswitch and turning it on. The room inside is dusty, covered in a thick layer of the stuff that makes them all cough when it’s disturbed. There’s a number of desks in the room, chairs tucked neatly underneath them, all facing toward a large screen that takes up most of the wall. A trail of wires leads out from underneath it, snaking their way down the wall and along the floor until finally they connect up to a huge machine that takes up the entire back section of the room. 

It’s looming and obtrusive, covered in switches and cables and gauges, needles all left pointing at zero, something clearly costly and time consuming to build. There’s a chair that sits facing it, solid wood and metal, worn leather straps hanging loose and open that Dirk can hardly bring himself to look at. Resting atop the seat is a helmet of sorts, wires leading up and out the back to connect to the machine, looking like some post-industrial jellyfish. Dirk knows from experience that the sting of it would hurt just as much. 

“What _is_ this?” Farah asks, reaching out to wipe some of the dust from one of the panels. 

“The only chance we have of getting Todd back.” Dirk doesn’t sound thrilled at the concept, but it doesn’t make it any less true. “I suppose the question now is if it still works.”

There’s a million questions Farah wants to ask, everything from what the machine even _does_, to if it’s really worth doing when Dirk looks so haunted just from looking at the damn thing. Farah is nothing but practical though. She knows what’s at risk, and she knows how limited they are for time. It’s going to have to be enough that she trusts Dirk to make his own decisions, and makes sure she’s there in case it all falls apart. 

She picks up the end of a disconnected cable, frowning as she tries to match it to a port. There’s a lot of them, it’s not going to be an easy job, but between them she thinks they might just make it work. 

“Right.” She nods, plugging the first cable into the top of the machine. “Let’s find out.”

***

"_Why_," Dirk complains, holding what feels like the millionth cable he's picked up today, "did they feel the need to unplug _everything?_"

Farah has taken the most strategic approach, but as efficient as it is at actually matching the cables to their ports it's still almost _unbearably_ slow. Dirk is aware they can't just take a haphazard approach to this, he's pretty sure it's possible that the machine could fry his brain if they get it wrong, but he's getting antsy enough that he's seriously considering trying. Mike seems to be the only one of them with the sense to read the schematics he'd found in one of the drawers, but it's little use when he doesn't seem to be able to make much _sense_ of them, and instead he's looking between the papers and the machine with an increasingly worried look on his face.

"Because it's dangerous," he says, in answer to Dirk's question. He's fairly sure it was meant to be rhetorical but he can't help it. The anxiety that's building up in the room is enough to force it out of him. "You _know_ it's dangerous."

"Yes, _thank you_ for that." Dirk glares at him, halfhearted from under a pile of cables. "It's just that unless you have any other _stellar_ ideas for fixing this _mess,_ I'm afraid this is what we're stuck with. And of course it had to lead us all the way here just to make it even _more_ difficult, because at this point I'm starting to wonder if it even _wants_ my help."

Bart looks up from where she's sat on the table, turning the gun Farah had set down there over and over in her hands, laughing to herself at Dirk's complaining. Mike glances over at her, unsure what to do with that response.

"What's it do anyways?"

It's the question they'd all been avoiding asking, but it's obvious from the way that Farah looks over at Dirk that she wants to know. Dirk tenses up at the question, pausing in his rush to plug things in for a moment, before he resumes with renewed dedication, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the board in front of him.

"It's a bridge," he says, voice carefully neutral. "To the other side. Or, ooh that sounds _bad,_ sorry!" he throws an apologetic glance at Farah, grimacing at the worry on her face. "Not the _other_ other side. Not the death thing! Just... it sort of... lets me see things. Amplifies my... _abilities_. I suppose."

"What do you mean it lets you see things?" Farah asks, voice as tense as her shoulders. "_What_ things?"

"Well... I suppose it's more like an out of body experience... _machine_. Wherever my... _intuition_ comes from," he glances over at Bart, "wherever _all_ of it comes from it's... there. In my head, in all of our heads most likely. Like a door to... well. _Everything_. Thing is we can't really get through it, or at least I can't anyway, and there's very little point having a compass with no map. So Blackwing built this to... let me see the map."

"Right. So... by the map you mean?" Farah has stopped completely, staring at him with what can only be described as disapproving disbelief, growing more concerned by the second.

"Oh. Well it's... everything. The inner workings of the universe. The backstage of reality. It doesn't really... or I suppose it _must_ exist, somewhere. Just not here. I think that's where they are. Where the problem is. A bug in the code, so to speak. The only solution we really have is to get in there and... take a look." He smiles, close mouthed and attempting to be reassuring, but it doesn't seem to assuage any of her worries.

"And you think _Todd_, and... the others. You think that the universe took them and, what? Stored them in a pocket dimension?"

"I suppose so, yes!" Dirk grins, handing her a cable to plug in as he does the same with one of his own. "Or at least I _hope_ so. If they're not I have no idea where they are, or how to fix it. It's just that..." he swallows, dropping the fake cheer just enough for his fear to show through the cracks. "They did hundreds of tests, _thousands_, maybe even _millions_ and- in the end, this is the only thing that _worked_."

Farah stares at the machine, looking it over for a long moment, trying to work out if what Dirk is saying could even be possible.

"If it worked then... why did they only do it once?"

Dirk bites down on his lip, trying to work out a way to answer the question that won't have Farah trying to talk him out of it. It's nice, _wonderful_ even that he's surrounded by people who care for him these days, but when the entire universe could be at risk, when _Todd_ could be at risk, he doesn't want to have her trying to stop him from doing the only thing he can think to do.

He's saved from having to answer when a noise sounds at the end of the corridor, the sound of footsteps, heavy and _familiar_, and the panic swells in his chest so quickly his head almost spins with it.

"Close the door."

Nobody moves, all of them watching in frozen horror as the footsteps come closer. They're lazy, almost casual, even though Dirk knows without a doubt that he wouldn't be down here at all if he didn't know what he was coming for.

"Close. The. Door." He reiterates, hissing through his teeth as his palms grow damp with sweat, curling into fists at his sides and turning back to the machine with frantic urgency. They need to get this sorted and they need to do it _now_.

Mike moves to close the door, eyes wide when he realises there's no way to lock it from the inside. Either way, a reinforced steel door should buy them some time, especially if someone were to start shooting. If there's one thing Mike can safely say he knows about the type of guards they have here, it's that they're the shoot first, ask questions later type.

"What do we do?" He asks, a rushed whisper as he watches Bart stand up from the table, watching the door with a slow kind of curiosity.

"Just... keep watch. We need to finish this." Farah starts working with a sense of urgency now, Dirk himself is shoving wires in haphazardly wherever they fit, and hoping that if the universe really wants them to do this it will at least have the good grace to make it work.

"We don't have _time_," he says, not daring to glance back at the door. He can't lose his nerve, not now, but he's sure that the person coming down the hall is scarier than the prospect of universal collapse. Dirk hasn't had any nightmares involving that before. "We don't-"

"I'll... I'll cover the door." Mike's voice is high pitched and anxious, wrought with worry as his fingers shake and reach for his gun.

Farah eyes the movement, glancing at her own gun currently in Bart's hand before turning back to Mike. "Do you know how to use that?"

"Yeah," he tells her, grimacing a little with the word. "I just uh, don't _like_ to? But yeah I... I know how to use it. I'm kind of... or at least for the exams I was _good_ with it just... not in high stress situations?" He laughs nervously, but he seems sure enough so Farah nods her approval anyway. Nothing about this situation is ideal and making the best of what they have is the only way they're going to get through it.

"Right," Dirk says, trying to get ahead of himself as he hands Farah more cables. "When we've got this all set up I'm going to need your help." His fingers are shaking, the footsteps growing closer, and when he starts whistling it's enough to make him feel sick to his stomach.

"Dirk are you-"

"There's no _time_, Farah!" He's aware he sounds at least a little hysterical, but the only thing he can do is keep going. He's dealt with worse than this before, far _far_ worse, whatever comes after this is something for future him to deal with, and he sends an apology his way for that, because there's no telling how bad it could be. "There's a switch, on the wall, do you see it? When I'm all... _set up_ I need you to hold it down. You have to keep holding it, it won't stay on it's own. It will give me ten minutes, at _most_ before it cuts itself off and frankly I'm going to need all the time you can give me so-" he turns to her, eyes wide and heart racing with the realisation that the footsteps in the hall have come to a stop. "No matter _what_ happens, I _need_ you to keep holding it down."

She meets his eyes, and Dirk can see the fear in hers, the worry, the need to tell him no. But for once he's relieved that Farah is the most sensible of them all, because she knows when something is important, when something _needs_ to be done, and from the sheer amount of terror in Dirk's own expression she knows he wouldn't ask her to do something like that unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Okay," she nods, offering him a strained, watery smile. "Okay but- you have to promise me that you'll stay safe. Or- as safe as you can. I don't- don't you _dare_ bring everyone else back if you're not coming back yourself."

For a split second, all Dirk can feel is an overwhelming rush of affection in his chest. Farah's eyes are watery, he's sure his own match hers, and he wants to reach out and hug her even though he knows she doesn't tend to do that sort of thing. It feels like now could be an exception.

Before he can move, there's a knock on the door.

Silence falls over the room, and for a moment the only thing Dirk can hear is the rush of blood in his own ears.

"Hello? Anybody home?" The words echo through the door in a chilling sing-song lilt. It's a voice that Dirk had hoped he'd never have to hear again. But he's here now, just beyond the door, and Dirk is scared enough of him that if the only way out of this situation is to link himself up with the workings of the universe and force his way behind the scenes then he'll take it.

Mike doesn't take his eyes off the door, even if his nerves are obvious in the set of his shoulders, but Dirk just keeps plugging in every cable he can find, until _finally_ the whirring, beeping sounds of an old disused machine starting up fill the room around them. It's not by any means quiet, and Farah swears under her breath as she moves to check the schematics for what to do next. Any cover they were pretending they had has officially been blown, and Dirk keeps casting worried glances at the door as he starts untangling wires from the headset, making sure it's up and running too.

"No?" The pause is just enough time for Bart to make her way over to stand next to Mike. Farah doesn't feel too confident about the fact she feels the need to ready herself, even if she can't blame her. "Well, I hope y'all don't mind if I let myself in."

Somehow, somewhere, Dirk had been hoping that as he'd been doing everything the universe had wanted to do up to this point, it would at least see fit to do him the favour of locking the door behind them. The sound of the door handle being pushed down ever so slowly extinguishes that hope without so much as an apology, and the ominous creaking of it swinging open on disused hinges makes his heart freeze up in his chest.

"Well well well, what _do_ we have here?" He laughs, dragging his tongue across his lower lip as he takes in the sight before him. "I didn't know you an' Marzanna were _friends_, Icarus. Just like you to drag people into trouble, hm? She was always so well behaved, weren't you darlin'?"

"I jus' do what I gotta do, Mister Priest," she shrugs. He eyes the gun in her hand, and attempts a smile.

"That you do. Not like this one," he tilts his head, turning his attention to Mike. If he hadn't been scared before he is now, but he holds his gun as steady as he can and tries his hardest to look him in the eye. "Last I heard, you were M.I.A. Now tell me, why would someone like yourself show up here? We didn't even come after you."

Mike swallows, summoning his courage and trying not to let himself be distracted by the way Dirk is still moving, however slowly, to set up what he needs to.

"It's the right thing to do." His voice shakes, but there's conviction in it, and it's enough to make Priest laugh.

"Guilty conscience? Saw that comin' a mile off." He takes a step closer, leering into his space. "You shoulda stayed home, this ain't no place for people like you."

He wants to run, he can feel it pulling at every cell in his body, but there's nothing he can do to make that happen. He made a promise, made the only move that felt right since he first ended up in Blackwing, and despite the fear, despite knowing without a doubt that this man will kill him without thinking twice, Mike knows that if this is the only chance they've got to save the universe he won't let it be lost because of him.

Priest must see it in his eyes the moment he's made his decision, because he adjusts his grip on his gun and raises it as he steps back, the smile melting off his face like it couldn't get away fast enough.

“I would suggest you stand aside, ain’t no need for anyone to get hurt here.”

Priest doesn’t lower his gun though, and Michael doesn’t either, readjusting his grip when he feels his fingers start to shake. There’s no point pretending he isn’t afraid, he’s fairly sure Priest can smell it, but he’s been afraid plenty of times before and this time he thinks it will be worth it.

“You have to let him finish,” he says instead, voice trembling as he stands his ground and watching the way Priest eyes Bart warily, like he’d already have shot the whole place up if she wasn’t there. He knows, somewhere, that if he has to kill Dirk to stop him then he will, and if they want any chance of fixing any of this he can’t let that happen. “You don’t understand, this is _important_.”

“What’s important is puttin’ a stop to all this. You think he knows what he’s doin’ with that machine? Hell, one wrong move and he could send us all back down where we came from. There’s a _reason_ that thing was never used after the first time, they had the whole team that _built_ it then, you think he’s gonna manage on his own?” He shakes his head, mouth quirking up into an empty smile in the split second it takes Mike to glance over at Dirk. “Stand _aside_, Lieutenant.”

Mike swallows, faltering as he looks between them. Dirk is still working, fuelled by desperation into ignoring the fear he can see racing through him as he frantically plugs in wires, the only thing that seems to have overcome his fear of death is knowing he might die anyway but he at least has the option to try. Priest shoulders his weapon properly, smile now gone and watching Mike coldly as he awaits his response, glancing every so often at Bart standing just behind his shoulder. If the universe does in fact have a plan, Mike knows somewhere deep down what his part in it is.

He squares his shoulders as best he can, steading his hands and planting his feet, not quite able to meet his eyes but unwilling to back down all the same.

“I’ve stood aside too many times.”

He barely finishes getting his words out before the gun goes off, and a bullet to the chest is more than enough to kill him, but not as quickly as one between the eyes.

They both fall, Priest is dead before he hits the floor, and despite the way he’s clutching at his own bullet wound he stares uncomprehendingly at his gun like he can’t work out what just happened, knowing for a fact that he hadn’t pulled the trigger. He doesn’t have to wonder for long though, the last thing he sees is Bart dropping her own weapon, and vaguely, somewhere, hears the sound of his name being called.

The last thing he remembers thinking, is she may just have saved them all.

Dirk yells, something he thinks might be Mike’s name but he’s not sure, heart in his throat as he lunges towards him, only to be held back by Farah. 

“We don’t have time!” She reminds him, eyes wild as she holds him by the shoulders. “If he doesn’t come back with us soon they’re going to send down more people. He’s- he’s _gone_, Dirk. They both are. We- we _can’t_ let everyone else go too. Okay?” She shakes him just a little, not unkindly, but enough to snap him back to himself. “Tell me you’re with me, Dirk.”

He keeps his eyes focused on hers, torn between crying in relief that Priest is gone, he’s dead, oh _god_ he’s _dead-_ and the flurry of guilt that comes when he realises that Michael is dead too. If Dirk hadn’t invited him here would he still be alive? Did he really believe in this enough that he was willing to _die_ for it. Dirk is fairly sure it hadn’t been his intention, but when the time came he’d done it anyway hadn’t he? And Farah was right, they _don’t_ have time. The whole _universe_ is running out of time and if Mike had considered that extra time worth _dying_ for Dirk can’t stand there doing _nothing_ with it. It comes down to this, to the knowledge that the universe is broken, is _breaking_ apart around them, is happy to kidnap and _kill_ on the chance that Dirk might try and fix it, for him to summon the courage to nod his head and wipe his tears away. 

“Yes. Yes you’re right- of course you’re-” he can’t force a smile to his face, glances over at where Bart has sat down next to Mike and seems to be _talking_ to him about god knows what, useless when he can’t hear it, and sits down in the seat with renewed determination. He holds the headpiece in his hands, looks over the wires and switches to make sure they’re all where they need to be, and holds his breath as he reaches up with trembling hands to put it on his head. 

It’s a little small, smaller than he remembers, but he’d been smaller too at the time and the damn thing had been near falling off him. He secures the straps down to hold it in place, wincing as the metal digs in around his head, like it’s trying to burrow into his brain of its own accord, and looks over to where Farah is holding her hand over the switch. 

Dirk swallows heavily, curling his fingers around the arm rests in preparation for what comes next, knowing that this is their last chance and still there’s every chance this could go wrong. It’s _going_ to work, he tells himself. It _has_ to work. The universe wouldn’t lead them all the way here only to fail at the last hurdle. 

“I- I’m ready.” He tells her, nodding his head as if to reassure himself of the same. 

“Alright. Okay. Just… be careful.” She’s tearing up, and making Farah cry is at times easier than one might expect but it’s still something that makes Dirk want to reach out to her. He’ll just have to save it for when he gets back. 

“I’ll do my best,” he promises weakly. “Now, come on. We haven’t got all day.”

Farah nods, short and decisive, offering him a smile that’s more upset than reassuring. “Good luck.”

She hesitates for the briefest second, hovering over the switch like it’s the last thing she wants to do, before she steels herself against the fear and doubt, and presses down on the button. 

There’s a moment where Dirk’s world explodes into static, colours and confusion and the sharp, _excruciating_ pain of forcing his entire existence through the eye of a proverbial needle, before he’s swallowed up and spat out the other side into the pitch black of a dark, empty, _nothing_.

There are a million threads tied around his fingers, leading out and away in all directions, whispering their stories when they rub against each other. He can feel more here, _see_ more here, everything is clearer and it feels almost like he can begin to understand, like he’s finally been given a dictionary for the language the universe uses to speak to him, tied into and around him like ivy around a house, grown into each other in a way that can’t be separated. And then, shot through the core of him, right from his heart, is the long line of a golden thread that stretches on and on into the infinite darkness, strong and glowing and tugging at him like nothing else he’s ever felt before, urging him forwards to follow where it leads, knowing without seeing what it is that lies at the other end. 

When he opens his eyes they’re as black as the space around him, filled with stars that mirror the map of creation above. It’s in him as much as he is in it, and there’s nothing he can do here but trust the force that’s guided him all of his life, one stumbling foot in front of the other, until he can find his way back to the one thing he had been anchored to long before he’d even existed.

The paths of Dirk Gently and Todd Brotzman have been slowly travelling together since the beginning of time. Everything falling into place from the smallest drop of water to the largest combusting star to bring it to right here and now, their convergence, their totality. To have one without the other is impossible, everything is connected and they've been connected from the start, even before they ever met Todd and Dirk were connected to each other, and that, Dirk reflects, means they were never truly alone. They always have and always have had each other. It’s too much for one person to understand, but when he sees it laid out like this in the very fabric of reality there's nothing else to call it. Fate, destiny, soulmates. A bond not even the universe can break, and now it might just save them all. 

Love saving the day. It seems fitting somehow. Todd will hate it. Dirk, smiling in a way he truly _means_ since this whole thing started, thinks it’s nothing less than perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3


	8. Eight.

It's safe to say that in the last year or so, Michael Assistent's life had spiralled rather rapidly out of his control. Not that it had ever really been _in_ his control in the first place; despite his best attempts at keeping things organised, life had been quite content to sweep him along without so much as giving him a say in the matter of the who, what, where, when, why, and hows of it. Which is why in the grand scheme of things he supposes that it really shouldn't be that surprising that he dies by being shot in the chest in a disused storage room in an underground covert government facility housing atrocious human rights violations and some of the stupidest people he's ever met. And then, if he _really_ thinks about it, with how even the weirdest parts of his life had only gotten weirder it should be even _less_ of a surprise when he wakes up gasping for air under what looks like an entire universe's worth of stars not a moment later.

His hands go to his chest, feeling for blood or at least a wound but there's nothing there. He frowns, screwing his eyes shut again as he tries to make sense of what the _hell_ this could possibly _be_ when he realises quite abruptly that he's not the only one here. The feeling of another person makes him panic, having no idea where he is, who it could possibly be, and no way to defend himself, he resigns himself to the idea of just _lying_ there until they eventually go away, or do whatever it is that unknown creatures lurking in the dark beyond the mortal plane _do_. He can't imagine it will be nice.

"Hey," when the voice comes it's not at all what he'd expected. It sounds _normal_ for one thing, a little irritated perhaps but not the deep growling roar of some primordial beast. Still, he contents himself with lying there a little longer, because if this is death it's almost peaceful. Or at least it is until whoever the voice belongs to nudges his leg with his foot. "I _know_ you're awake. You're the first person I've seen here in- at all. Which is kinda weird when I _know_ other people went missing too so I'm _assuming_ there's a reason I can see you and not them so could you just... _stop doing that_?"

Okay, maybe pretending to be asleep wasn't the best way to deal with this situation but in all fairness he had been dead not that long ago, he thinks it's acceptable to want a little time to himself. Either way, he opens one eye uncertainly, followed by the other when he sees a small, grumpy looking man who somehow still manages to look relieved to see him. Not as much of a threat as he could have been then.

"Um," Mike starts, pushing himself into a sitting position and looking down at his body like he can't quite believe it's still there. "Are- are you dead too then?"

The man's eyebrows do _quite_ an impressive move that Mike couldn't hope to replicate himself, before he settles on a look of complete confusion. "_What_? Of course I'm not dead I- wait, are... are _you_ dead?"

"I..." and Mike doesn't have the first idea how to answer that question, not when he seems all present and accounted for, especially when his companion seems bewildered at the thought of it. "Well I mean, I was shot. In the chest. Quite... _unpleasantly_ and then," he frowns, trying to recall the last moments before here. "Someone... said my name and- oh _god_." He scrambles to his feet in a move that seems to startle the other man, looking around frantically. "Did- was there anyone else here with me? Like, when I turned up was it just me?"

"Woah, okay dude just... chill. It's just you, there wasn't anyone else and you seem.... reasonably okay? For someone who just... _died_, I guess? Are you sure you-"

"_Yes_. I'm sure I was shot. Right through the chest. In that _stupid_ place but I guess... if it's just me that's a good thing? We might still be able to get out of here." Mike seems to relax at that, running a hand through his hair and still poking at the space where a bullet hole should be.

"Wait, you know a way out of here?" The other man's eyes go _incredibly_ wide, and there's a moment where Mike gets lost in wondering how they _do_ that, before he remembers he was asked a question and clears his throat.

"Not _personally_? But uh, just before I... _died,_ Dirk had managed to-"

He's cut off rather abruptly by a loud cry of; "You know Dirk?!"

"I... was helping him. He needed to get to this machine? He said it would help him get to... oh. Wait are you... _Todd_?" It's Mike's turn to be wide-eyed now, and Todd just stares at him for the _longest_ time before he starts laughing. It turns a little more hysterical than Mike would like it to be when he's the only person trapped in here with him, but by the time it wears off Todd looks closer to crying than anything else, and Mike can't help but feel a little sorry for him.

"I- Yeah, _yeah_ I'm- _shit_. I can't believe he's _actually_\- wait, if you're dead then... is he in danger?" Todd tips straight into concern at a rate that's surprisingly hard to keep up with.

"I mean, not immediately? He's with Bart and Farah, and Bart shot the guy who shot _me_ so... I guess at some point but... he's pretty determined to find you, man. I don't know how it works exactly but uh, he's on his way I guess."

"Right," Todd nods distractedly, mouth settling into a hard, uncomfortable line. "Right, yeah that's- _god_ he's an idiot." Todd can't help the affection that pours into the words, the fresh hope that comes with knowing Dirk hasn't forgotten him, isn't giving up on him, and as guilty as he feels for putting him in a position of danger, the relief the news brings with it is nothing short of staggering. "Fuck, sorry, I- what's your name?"

"Oh! It's uh, Michael. Mike. I um, guess I still have a name if I'm dead?" He frowns, staring at the blackness stretching on below his feet and trying not to feel sick.

"Well you don't _look_ dead," Todd offers, half smiling in his direction. "I haven't seen anyone for a while though."

"How long have you been here?" He doesn't know if it's an insensitive question or not, but Todd looks tired. Or rather, he has the _air_ of someone who's exhausted. It's beautiful here, but Mike can see how easy it would be to lose yourself if you were here for any length of time.

"I don't know. It's not like... it was Tuesday when I- but time isn't really a thing here? Nothing changes, it just kinda... is." He shrugs, swallowing down whatever it is he's feeling that he doesn't want to share.

"I guess... at least they're trying, right?" Mike doesn't know how to comfort someone he's never met, and seems kind of standoffish to begin with, but he reaches out to pat Todd on the shoulder anyway. Todd looks from his hand back to Mike's face quizzically.

"I guess so. Thanks?" He looks a little bemused when Mike pulls his hand away, tucking it into his pocket for lack of anything else to do.

There's a moment where they just stand in awkward silence, staring out into the nothingness like they might see something else out there. Something catches Mike's eye though, and he turns back to Todd, frowning as he looks at his chest.

"What's that?"

Todd's eyebrows furrow, looking down at himself with no small amount of concern to see what looks like a fine, shimmering, golden thread making its way out of where he imagines his heart to be. It looks like it's struggling to hold any consistent form, like he can only see it if he catches it from the right angle, and a part of him thinks he should be scared but the sight of it makes his heart beat faster for reasons he can't quite explain but have nothing to do with fear.

"I don't know," he frowns, looking down the length of it to where it stretches out into the endless night. "Maybe... maybe we should follow it?"

Mike looks around like he's checking for some kind of trap, or at least some kind of explanation for what's happening. When he doesn't find evidence of either all he can do is turn back to Todd with a little uncertain shrug.

"It doesn't look like we have much else to do."

Todd nods his agreement, knowing somewhere deep down that this is a good thing, the first _truly_ good thing to happen to him since he got here. He sets his jaw decisively, determination renewed now he has something to direct it at.

"Come on," his tone offers no room for argument, but having _something_ is enough to make him smile. "Let's find out where it goes."

***

Dirk tries his best not to look at the stars.

They're beautiful, all mapped out in blue and white and silver, darting around above his head, but he knows better than most would that they're not really stars at all. He'd discovered last time he was here that the longer he looked at them the worse it got, the more he could see, the more he could _understand_. Things he could only catch the barest glimpse of back in reality were laid out here as plain as anything, with every single barrier that makes it so hard for him to understand his intuitions torn down, looking at it here is like a direct download of every single possible choice and decision, action and reaction, from the beginning of time to the end, directly into his head. He tries not to look because he knows if he does he'll get caught in it, all the things that need fixing, all the things he was designed to pick up on and nudge back into place. There's a part of him that wants the understanding, wants to know that there _is_ something he _can_ understand about the whole thing, wants the reassurance that he's not just crazy, but more than that it's _terrifying_. Staring into the workings of reality and having it stare back into him. It's already worming its way into his head just by having him here, he can hear the whispers of it, feel the weight of it, like it's calling out to him, and something inside of him is reaching back.

He doesn't want to belong here.

Because last time, when he was a child and they'd first built the machine and he was forced here despite the resistance from both sides, it had almost driven him mad. Or, well, not _mad_ mad, despite everything Dirk is _fairly_ well intact mentally as far as complete division from reality goes (or at least he hopes so). But the flooding of all that knowledge, the feeling of understanding without _understanding_ on any level that was helpful, all the things that were never meant to be seen with human eyes, let alone by someone who was more finely attuned to it than anyone else, he'd never felt anything like it. It had scared him then and it scares him now, knowing that in some way, in many ways he was _made_ for this. He's felt it inside of him all his life, the sickening, swirling, tilting pull of the universe, _that_ had started long before he'd even heard of Blackwing, but the _fear_...

Other people had feared his abilities, his parents _certainly_ had, but to Dirk it had felt as natural as breathing, comforting even in a strange sort of way. It still does most of the time, as much a part of him as anything else, that although sometimes he thinks of it, he doesn't think he'd trade it for the world. He'd be lost without it. But there are times when it's not so simple, when the feeling that something is wrong is like a glaring warning light above his head that just grows more urgent with every step he takes. When he tries to ignore it, or find a way around it, when he makes his mind up _not_ to walk directly into danger no matter what the universe wants, and that's when he _feels_ it.

It's in here somewhere, he knows that much, but it seems content to leave him alone as long as he keeps doing what he's meant to be doing. It's when he doesn't that he feels it drawing close, a hand just hovering off the back of his neck where he can feel it but also _not._ When it finds him it means he doesn't have a choice, it will push and twist and turn him around until he goes where it wants, sees what it wants, _does_ what it wants and Dirk... he doesn't know if it's the universe itself or just a thing created to keep them in check, or perhaps if in a way it _is_ them, the original source of their powers. He'd asked Mona once if she'd ever felt it. She said it had felt like hands molding clay, picking her up and making her what it wanted, what it _needed_ and it had been enough to make Dirk wonder what it feels like to the others, not that he'd dared to ask. It had been comforting then to know that he wasn't the only one, but even if he doesn't feel it right now, just knowing he could any minute is enough to bring a familiar wash of fear over him.

He keeps his eyes on the thread instead, following along because at least with that he can't go wrong. He doesn't want to think about Todd alone in here, not when it's so empty and cold and vast. Ever since he'd disappeared it had been a thought he'd kept coming back to, and he'd hated it more and more every time. He'd thought sometimes, when he was drifting off, that he could hear Todd in the spaces between waking and sleeping. Just enough to let him know he was here, not enough to do anything about it. But now he's here he can't help but wonder if it was just his imagination, trying to comfort himself when it had felt like Todd had taken all the hope with him when he'd gone.

He has to be at the end of this thread. There's no other explanation, not one Dirk will accept anyway, not one that would make _any_ sense at all. He'd known when he'd met him that they were always meant to meet, that there was something _more_ to this one, that there was no way anything about Dirk and Todd could be explained by something as mundane as coincidence. It's that thought that keeps him going, that determination that forces him on, and it's the fact that he's thinking so hard about Todd in the first place that makes him think it's just his imagination when he finally hears his voice.

"Dirk?"

It sounds distant, enough that he smiles at the thought of it but doesn't register it as being _here_ with him until the thread he's been following shimmers and solidifies right before his eyes, and he realises that even with his imagination having hours upon hours of memories of Todd's voice to call upon, he couldn't have made it sound that perfect.

The realisation makes him look up, frantic as he searches the space in front of him, heart beating a mile a minute just in case- just at the _slightest_ possibility that this is some cruel, universal joke. But- no, _no_ because he _sees_ him. Distant, despite the fact that _distance_ is barely a concept here, but he _sees him,_ and with the entirety of creation spread out above them somehow Dirk finds it's the only thing that matters.

"_Oh my_\- Todd!" He laughs, a little hysterical as he's torn between disbelief and delight at the sight of him. It barely takes a minute for him to come to his senses and start running. Everything works differently here, time, direction, distance, but it hardly matters when the only thing between them is the vast expanse of _nothing_ and the determination to get there.

It's only for the fact that wherever they are seems to eschew the concept of gravity that they don't fall down when they finally run into each other. It's not the first time Todd has launched himself at Dirk, whether in relief or frustration of one sort or another, but it is without a doubt the _best_.

As soon as he manages to wrap his arms around him Dirk thinks he could easily be convinced to never let go of him again.

"I- _Todd!"_ He laughs, giddy with the feeling of having him back, even if the situation is less than ideal. "I _knew_ it!"

"Fuck, _shit_ Dirk you- you're _here_ what are you-" Todd shakes his head, taking a moment to tighten his hold to a point Dirk might find uncomfortable if it wasn't so damn reassuring. "I can't- you _found_ me." The disbelief is clear in his voice and Dirk pulls back just enough to look at him. It's no surprise Todd looks close to tears, especially when Dirk is crying himself, but he still smiles back at him like he can't believe what he's seeing.

"Well," he sniffs, trying to act like he's not as overcome with emotion as he is. "I _am_ a rather good detective."

Todd laughs, wet and happy as he hits Dirk in the arm. "_Asshole_."

It's fond, _relieved_, and Dirk doesn't waste another second in pulling him into a kiss.

Up until right now Dirk had thought that kissing and crying at the same time was a concept only found in the romantic comedies he often forced Todd to watch. He can't stop though, the kissing _or_ the crying, but it doesn't seem to matter much when Todd is clearly facing the same issue and while he's sure it's nowhere near as pretty or soft or _lovely_ as those movies made it out to be he can't bring himself to care when Todd is here and safe and _with him_ like he's _supposed_ to be.

They have to break apart eventually, and though they're both so obviously caught up in each other, it doesn't take long for Todd to ask a question Dirk isn't quite sure how to answer.

"So uh," he glances down at the space between them, what little of it there is, eyes resting on the glowing thread resting between them before he looks up at Dirk. "I don't suppose you know anything about that?"

Dirk flushes, he can feel the way it creeps up his neck as he watches Todd with wide eyes and stumbles over his words. "I, ah- yes. That. It would... _well_, you see this whole place is um... so to my understanding these are... _important_ things? I have-" he holds his hands up to show Todd, whose eyes grow wide as his perception shifts enough to register just how many of the strings Dirk _has_.

"What the _hell?_ How- what _are_ they?"

"To be honest I'm not _entirely_ sure, but as far as I can... _understand_ it they appear to be, well. Timelines. Events, lives, major decisions, that sort of thing. So when something goes _wrong_ well... that's where I come in. Only I can't do much about it other than... I suppose what I _really_ do is try and find the matching _thing_ and tie them together so they can continue on their merry way. It's all a bit _basic_ really, as far as a way to run the universe goes but," he shrugs, fidgeting a little. "I'm not sure how it works for the others."

"You... what? Like-" Todd's eyebrows furrow in confusion, a look Dirk has missed _so_ much. "You... fix _timelines_?"

"Well I suppose it's just... making sure things are in the right place and tied together properly. In theory! I _should_ point out that this is all _very_ much speculation. And even if that is _how_ it works on a level involving strings I don't have the _faintest_ idea how that would translate to the real world or in fact _why_ it would even be necessary, _or_ why on _earth_ if the base concept is so simple it has to make things so _complicated_ for me but... well. Here we are." He holds his hands up, shrugging helplessly. Todd just stares at him with the expression he always wears when Dirk tells him something he doesn't really understand and doesn't really _want_ to.

"O..._kay_." He drags the word out, clearly still competing with the concept on some level. Dirk can understand that at least. "But... that doesn't explain," he gestures to their thread, which Dirk can't help but smile at.

"Ah. Well Todd, the thing _is_ that... it would appear that we've been sort of... tied together? Or, well I suppose we've _always_ been tied together. And really I suppose that means us ending up together was always kind of... _destined_, in one way or another." It's beautiful, he thinks. It gives him a rush of something so strong it threatens to knock him over. The thought of Todd being there all that time, universally linked across both of their lives, always heading towards each other because there was nothing else they could do when the universe had intertwined their lives so tightly it had no choice but to connect them to one another... it's enough to make Dirk cry if he thinks about it too hard.

"So..." Todd tilts his head, regarding Dirk carefully. "You're saying that this whole time we've been, what? _Space married_?"

"I think _most_ people would find the concept of being _unbreakably bonded by the universe_ at least a _little_ romantic, Todd!" Dirk rolls his eyes, but despite his scoffing he can't keep the fond smile off his face because of _course_ Todd took objection to that. It seems to catch up with him though, and this time Todd is the one blushing, flushing a lovely shade of pink all the way to his ears.

"I- no, I mean I guess that's-" he swallows, eyes flickering everywhere but Dirk. "Cool? I don't... I don't _mind_ being- whatever this is. With you. I mean we always have right? So it's not like it _changes_ anything really so..."

It's hard for Dirk _not_ to gaze adoringly at him while he flusters around what he's trying to say, but Todd is saved from his own ramblings by the simple fact that they'd been so caught up in each other, when Mike _finally_ speaks up it makes them jump apart guiltily like they'd been caught in a compromising position.

"Um, hi. Sorry. I don't want to... interrupt? I'm like _super_ happy for you and everything but-"

"Michael!" Dirk declares delightedly, cutting him off in his surprise. "You were- well. Let's not worry about that right now. What are you _doing_ here?!"

"He uh, showed up a while ago," Todd shrugs guiltily, running his hand over the back of his neck when he realises he'd all but forgotten he was there. "We came looking for you."

"Oh! How lovely," Dirk grins, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "You know, I thought it was _very_ heroic what you did. We really couldn't have done it without you!"

Mike nods, anxious in a way that strikes Dirk as being more than part of his general disposition. "Cool, uh thanks, I guess? That's... great and everything and I'm really glad it worked but do you think we should maybe do something about _that_?"

Dirk's smile falters, slipping from his face as he turns with some confusion to where Mike is pointing to what was previously a patch of empty nothingness. He feels it before he sees it, the tugging in his stomach has never been stronger, the white noise growing in his ears, and if he'd forgotten before that he was meant to be here to fix things, it all comes rushing back to him when he lays eyes on what appears to be a giant multi coloured tangle of threads strangely pulsating on the floor.

Todd turns to Dirk with an expression that can only mean one thing, and Dirk, clearly on his wavelength, appears to think the same.

"_Shit_."

***

Dirk is standing in the backstage of reality, looking at what can only be defined as an absolute cosmic _mess_, and the only thing he can find it in himself to feel is annoyance.

"I cannot _believe_ it caused all that trouble for _this,"_ Dirk gestures at the mass in front of them. "I mean _look_ at it! It's a _mess_, how did this even _happen_?"

Todd isn't daring to venture too close, frowning at the tangle like it might suddenly spring to life and bite him if he's not careful. "Are you- are you _seriously_ telling me it took _all_ those people to get you to untangle some string?"

He doesn't sound amused, and rightly so Dirk thinks, reaching out to poke at it just to make sure it's not alive in some way.

"It's entirely possible it took them _because_ of this," he muses, doing his best to follow one of the strings back into the tangled lump. "If it can't tell where any of these things are meant to go it could have just, well, _guessed_. It wouldn't be the first time. And then if it _really_ couldn't work it out it might have just removed them until it knew what it was doing."

"What-" Mike swallows, eyeing the bundle nervously. "Are these like, _people_?"

"People, places, _things_. I've no doubt taking _Todd_ was in order to get my attention, but the rest of it... they all just got caught up in this mess." He wrinkles his nose, plucking on a blue string where it's pulled tight between its origin point somewhere too far off to see, and the place it's found itself caught. "Which I suppose means if we want to _fix_ this, it's our job to-"

"Untangle the cosmic string?" Todd asks, crossing his arms over his chest and kicking at one close to the ground. "I hate this."

"Yes, well, maybe we _shouldn't_ kick the timelines, hm?" Dirk chastises, moving over to steer Todd away.

"Can't we just like, cut them?" Mike suggests. "I mean, if we cut out all the messy part we could tie them back together, right?"

Todd tilts his head in Mike's direction, "that's not a bad idea."

"No you're right, it's a _terrible_ idea. We can't just cut out an _entire section of reality,_ who knows what would happen! Besides, something tells me that's more _Bart's_ area of expertise than mine, not to mention that we don't have any scissors."

Todd is only comforted by the fact that Dirk doesn't sound any happier than them at the prospect. He's accused the universe of playing cosmic jokes a million times, but he's never truly wished it was one before. Still, when he looks over at Dirk poking and prodding at the mess with a thoughtful frown on his face it's hard to call it a _complete_ loss.

"This is going to take _days_," he complains, moving to pick up a thread anyway because if it's the only way out then the quicker they start the faster they can go.

"It's a good thing we're somewhere time doesn't exist then!" Dirk beams at him as he hands Mike a bunch of threads. "Come on Todd, it could be _much_ worse."

Todd looks back the heaving mass of string and concedes that he might have a point. Only to himself of course, he's not telling Dirk that. He barely has chance to anyway, because Dirk seems to have decided the best course of action is to climb _inside_ the damn thing in pursuit of a thread.

"_Dirk-"_ Todd protests, panicking for a moment before Dirk reappears, two lengths of bright pink thread clutched in his hand.

"Got one!" He declares triumphantly, pulling himself out to tie the two ends together and watching as the binding is cemented in place. As soon as Dirk lets go it pings back into place like a rubber band being released, and he smiles up at his progress. "See! There's only... a hundred _million_ more."

Todd locks eyes with Mike who's looking rather lost at this point, and he thinks about how nice it is to have someone else who doesn't understand what's happening but is stuck here anyway. He shrugs, giving in to the fact that this is what they're doing now, and Mike sighs his own agreement before picking at the strings himself.

Todd picks up the end of a green rope, glowing faintly in his hand, and has never wished more in his life that he had something to drink.

***

By the time they have it down to a manageable pile, Todd is fairly sure he's been here half his life.

Dirk is the most focused he's ever seen him, possibly because there's a puzzle at hand and there's nothing he seems to like more, possibly because whatever it is he seems to actually understand what he's doing here more than he ever does outside, either way even he is slowing down out of his whirlwind, struggling with the more difficult ones they have left. Mike has stopped asking for his approval of every damn connection though, working away quietly and handing matching ends to Dirk when he finds them. Todd is doing the same, only he's a little more grumpy about it, attitude soothed by an occasional bright spot when Dirk presses a kiss to his cheek in thanks and he finds himself willing to go on a little longer. He'd accuse Dirk of strategically planning them if it wasn't obvious that he's distracted himself, eyes flashing to empty darkness peppered with stars whenever he looks up at the scene above. Todd hasn't asked, he doesn't know if Dirk has noticed, and frankly he's had enough mind-blowing things explained to him today. He can't handle any more when he so desperately wants to go home, curl up in bed with Dirk and pretend this never happened.

It's the only thing that keeps him sifting through this stupid pile of threads.

"Why can't the universe fix it's own mess?" He asks nobody in particular, handing a pair of yellow threads to Dirk and trying not to focus too much on the gold thread between them. He's not sure he's going to get over that any time soon.

Dirk snorts, "I've asked that enough times to know wanting an answer is _pointless_. But, I suppose it _is_ rather beautiful here."

Todd can't argue with that, it's a thought he'd had plenty of times when he'd been stuck here, but it hadn't made it much easier to cope.

"Do you-" Mike pipes up from his own little pile of string, looking a little anxious. "Do you think I'll just... stay here then?"

It's a big question, and not one Todd is equipped to answer. Dirk's eyebrows pull in tightly, opening his mouth as if he's actually got an answer before sighing heavily and shrugging in his direction. "Sorry. I have _no_ idea. I shouldn't _think_ so, in fact I'm not _entirely_ sure why you ended up here in the first place when... well. Nobody else did, which come to think of it we should probably be thankful for." He's not sure Priest _could_ hurt them here but he's glad he doesn't have to find out.

"What happened?" Todd asks, because he realises he hadn't really. Dirk had implied his death had been a result of helping him out but further than that Mike hasn't really talked about it.

"Oh. I uh, got shot. There's this guy who's like, _insane?_ And y'know. The whole universe thing was kind of important so..." he shrugs, and Dirk rolls his eyes.

"He made a _very_ brave stand against a _terrible_ man and basically _died_ just so I could get here. Which, _honestly_ Michael I know you feel bad but it _does_ seem a _little_ extreme." The smile he gives him is genuine though, and Todd snorts at that.

"I think he means thanks." He tells him, nudging his shoulder to Dirk's as he passes him some purple threads.

Mike smiles to himself for a moment, before clearing his throat. "I didn't shoot him, you know? It was Bart, in the end. She- I _suspect_ she was trying to save me but... it was a little too late for that."

"_Bart_ was with you?" Todd asks, eyes wide. "Jesus, you must have been desperate."

"Yes, well, the universe just kind of threw her in our direction. We had the others as well, Farah, the Rowdy Three, Amanda."

"Amanda?" Todd's face flashes with the same guilt it always does at the sound of her name, but it's nowhere near the crushing weight it used to be.

"She wanted to fight the universe so we could get you back, and I don't think we could have stopped her if we _tried_."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Todd smiles at that, soft and to himself but still enough to make Dirk smile too.

He's been distracted long enough, caught up in sorting through and tying off ropes as they come to him, that he doesn't even realise at first that they've gotten down to the last loose end.

Dirk frowns, the string in his hand is seemingly the only one left, and he looks around for the other end, confusion written all over his face. It can't be the only one, not if there's nothing to tie it to, and Dirk feels a swell of panic bubbling up in his chest at the thought that they may have wasted all this time for nothing, because if he can't get them all then it's not _fixed_ and if it's not fixed then Todd can't get back. Granted he had no guarantee that would even work anyway, but now he feels even the smallest chance of it slipping right through his fingers as he looks helplessly at the end of the rope in his hands.

"Has anyone seen..." he trails off, looking across at Mike with a soft, "_oh_."

"What?" The worry sounds in his voice, written in the way his eyes go wide as he looks at the rope in Dirk's hands. "Is- Did I do something wrong?"

"No, _no_ it's just," Dirk holds the frayed end out to him carefully. "I think perhaps... this might belong to you."

"To _me_?" Mike's voice pitches up, holding his hands out defensively like he's afraid to take it. "I- what do you mean? How can it- _why_ would it-"

"Well you said it yourself! Bart tried to save you, she was just a second too late. But... the universe being broken it messed up _all_ of our... _things_. I think maybe, there's just the _slightest_ possible chance that you weren't supposed to, you know. _Die_."

Mike swallows heavily, looking between Dirk and Todd like either of them might know what to do. "But- I _am_ dead. I did- I _definitely_ died. That's-"

"Which means there's no harm in trying! If you're dead anyway you can't get any _more_ dead. And honestly I can't see _anywhere_ else this would go so..." he holds it out again, trying his best to look reassuring. "Just _try_ it."

For a dead man, Mike manages to look paler than ever as he stares at Dirks hand, seemingly weighing up the options. He must come to the conclusion that Dirk is right though, because eventually he nods, throwing them a scared smile.

"Um, good luck I guess?" He offers, reaching out to take the end of the rope. His shaking fingers close around it and for a second it seems like nothing is going to happen, before there's a sharp snapping sound as the thread connects, and Mike is gone.

"Well," Dirk breaks the shocked silence, staring at the space where he'd _just_ been standing. "That was conclusive."

Todd is about to agree with him, about to ask him what they do now when they don't have any threads other than the one binding them together, when whatever plane of reality they're in starts to blur out of focus around them.

Todd calls Dirk's name in a panic, but all he can hear is piercing white noise ringing through his head as everything seems to twist on its axis, and his entire world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3


	9. Epilogue.

What happens next is a blur that Todd can only recall in fragments.

The feeling of being forced back into the real world had him stumbling, not having realised how much time, space, and gravity had been affecting him all of his life until he'd gone without it, and having it all crash down on him at once had left him more unbalanced than he'd ever been in his life. He remembers, vaguely, Amanda's cry of his name, the achingly familiar relief of her arms around him for a moment as she'd laughed her relief, before turning to Dirk to do the same. It had filled him with a swell of emotion he lacked the capacity to deal with at the time to know she was pleased to have him back. A reassurance that things _were_ getting better.

Farah had helped Dirk up to his feet before wrapping her arms around him, teary eyed and brief but full of love nonetheless. When she'd gotten to Todd she had to hold him up, hugging him tightly before setting her hands on his shoulders to make sure he didn't fall in his newfound unsteadiness. Over her shoulder he saw Bart punch Mike in the arm, if the way he had winced was anything to go by it had been far harder than necessary, but it had been reassuring enough that when he'd _finally_ been able to get to Dirk he'd been quite content to forget everything else existed.

He remembered the rest in scattered bits and pieces in bouts of semi-consciousness. The flash of the lights, stumbling down the corridor, alarms ringing in his ears. The stamping of footsteps after them, the cursing when someone had decided that picking him up would be easier than trying to drag him along with them. Being bundled into the back of a car, Dirk stroking fingers through his hair in a motion meant to soothe them both, the roar of the engine as Farah had sped out of there as fast as she could, the reassurance that everyone had gotten out when he'd blearily asked where Amanda was. The moment fighting the exhaustion had become too much, and he'd given in to the forgiving pull of sleep.

Dirk would tell him later that he slept for three whole days, and somehow he'd still felt tired when he woke up.

When he finally _does_ come back to consciousness, there's a puppy licking his face. It startles him out of sleep for a second, before Todd, having grown used to living with Dirk, doesn't do anything but sigh heavily and try to collect himself.

"Did you adopt a puppy while I was asleep?"

His voice is rough and he winces at the sound of it, giving in and opening his eyes to locate the offending animal. It's tiny, a small, fluffy white thing that barks as soon as he moves, and not a moment later Dirk comes rushing into the room, wide-eyed with worry before his gaze lands on Todd and his face lights up like a christmas tree.

"Todd! Oh, don't mind Mona, I think she's just a bit restless after the whole getting stuck as an inanimate object fiasco. She was a rabbit when I left her but she promised to let me know when you were awake and rabbits don't make much noise I suppose and- oh! Would you like coffee? I can make coffee! It's _so_ good to see you I thought-"

"_Dirk_." He cuts him off with a groan, fond but long suffering as he drops his head back to the pillow, reaching out to pet between Mona's _very_ fluffy ears and pointedly not thinking about how strange that is. "Get over here."

"Oh. Oh, right, yes of course I'll just-" there's a moment where Dirk awkwardly hovers next to the bed before he scrambles onto it like a turtle seeing the sea for the first time. Suddenly they're nose to nose and Todd is hyper-aware of the fact that he hasn't brushed his teeth in god only knows how long, but for whatever reason Dirk doesn't seem to mind, merely grinning at the sight of him where his head rests on the pillow. "It's good to have you back."

It's soft, sincere, and Todd smiles as he finds himself moving in closer to wrap his arms around him and bury his face into Dirk's chest.

"_Oh_," Dirk exclaims, more breath than word as he shuffles around enough to hold him close, resting his cheek atop Todd's head.

"I missed you." Todd admits, muffled against the fabric of Dirk's shirt. Todd had thought, somewhere deep down, that he'd still manage to be on his own if all of this ever went wrong. And maybe he would in other circumstances, but the sheer empty loneliness of the place he'd disappeared to had left him feeling desperately empty himself. So _maybe_ he wouldn't snuggle into Dirk like he was the only heat source for miles around on a regular basis, but right now he doesn't care enough to feel self conscious about it.

"I missed you too," he promises. The tears in his eyes show through in his voice and while Todd rolls his eyes to himself if he's being honest he's not doing much better. "And Farah, and Mona. We all... I was so worried we wouldn't get you back."

Todd sighs, turning his head to rest on Dirk's chest rather than hide in it. "You did though. You like, saved the whole _universe_, and I'm _pretty_ sure you brought a guy back to life so... you know. Not bad all things considered."

Dirk laughs, nuzzling his nose into Todd's hair to press a kiss to the top of his head. "Michael said it was nice to meet you, by the way. I'm not _entirely_ sure what he's doing now, he slept on the sofa when we got back but there was something about Bart and aliens? He said he'd be in touch."

Todd hums, not wanting to put in the mental effort to unpack that right now. He'll ask Dirk where he found him later, maybe after at least three showers and the biggest breakfast he's ever eaten. It feels like whatever suspended animation he'd been in for those few days had decided to crash down on him all at once.

"What about Amanda?" Not that he'd blame her if she'd left on whatever whirlwind had picked her up this time, but he can't help but hope she hadn't.

"She said she'd drop by when you woke up. The Rowdy Three don't seem to be fond of staying put, but they haven't gone far. I know she and Farah had coffee yesterday, and I believe her companions vandalised a local police station while they were unsupervised.

"Amanda would have joined in anyway," he snorts, something warm and pleasant settling into his chest at the knowledge that she'd hung around to see him. "So... the universe is okay?"

Dirk hums, and Todd can picture the smile he's wearing just at the sound of it. Maybe he _is_ in too deep.

"As much as it ever is." He teases, and Todd rolls his eyes. "Farah went to check on Primrose Avenue and everything looked okay there. Sarah dropped a cheque through our door yesterday, her letter said she'd made deductions because we lost her _and_ her house which seems pedantic when we managed to retrieve them all _and_ save all of reality, but it's still more than our going rate so I can hardly complain I suppose."

He can't help the laugh it pulls from him. "And yet you just did," he teases, sitting up to press a quick kiss to Dirk's mouth, pulling away when he leans in for more. "I need to shower. Or like, drown myself in the ocean, I feel _gross_."

"You can do that _and_ kiss me," Dirk argues, making no move to let go of him. It's partly just the way Dirk is, he loves cuddles and hates getting out of bed, but even having woken up from what seems like a mini-coma Todd understands enough to know that he's worried about leaving him alone. It softens him a little, and he leans in to press their foreheads together.

"I'm not gonna go anywhere," he promises. "You fixed it, remember?"

"Well, _yes_, but-"

"No. After all the shit we went through for it the universe can cut us a fucking break for at _least_ a day." Todd thinks he might _physically_ fight it if it tries anything right now. "So, call Farah and Amanda, get them to bring breakfast and coffee because god knows the last thing we need right now is to burn the damn apartment down." Dirk makes a sound of protest, but Todd cuts him off before he can get anywhere. "And _then_, if you're _still_ worried I'm going to disappear when I'm in the shower, you can come and join me."

Dirk's eyes go wide for a moment, and Todd feels _ridiculously_ pleased to have tripped him up so easily. "I- yes. That sounds... just to be safe, of course. In case you fall over or... vanish down the plughole?"

Todd snorts, ducking his head to hide his smile because his boyfriend is _ridiculous_ and Todd can't believe just how much he'd missed him. He pulls him into another kiss, brief and soft because he's _really_ not up for anything more until he's drunk a whole bottle of mouthwash, grinning as he pulls away.

"I'll see you in there."

"Oh absolutely!" Dirk agrees as Todd drags himself out of bed. "We really should make sure you're all present and accounted for after all."

"Oh my _god_," Todd shakes his head, throwing Dirk a weak glare he can't bring himself to mean. "Shut up and order breakfast before I change my mind."

Dirk catches him just before he opens the door, pressing a kiss to his cheek and holding onto him a little longer than necessary. "I love you," he tells him, easy as anything, always close to the surface, spilling out of him whenever he feels it too strongly.

Todd almost hates how easy Dirk finds it, hates how easy he _doesn't_ find it, but it's the kind of thing he'd come to realise, when left alone with just his own thoughts for company, _could_ be that easy when it's something he feels right through the very core of him. And besides, whatever else had gone on in that cold, empty place Todd is pretty sure they'd managed to confirm that the universe had tied them together with some magic spiritual rope right through the heart. When he knows that it's hard to imagine worrying about saying something Dirk already knows he means.

He squeezes Dirk's hand where he's laced their fingers together, thinks about how he'd been the only thing he could think about when the entire universe was at risk, and wonders if there's any better way to solve his relationship hang-ups than by forcing him into another plane of existence with nothing to do but address them.

"I love you too," he promises, wondering at how it feels like proof that the universe is fixed after all, when the smile that lights up Dirk's face is immediately mirrored on his own.

Soulmates is a far heavier word than boyfriend, but somehow after all of this, now the universe has finally righted itself and whatever lurks in the darkness waiting to strike has sunk into a sleep of its own for the time being, Todd doesn't think he minds it all that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! There we go. Did it!
> 
> Honestly this was _so_ much work, I'd love it if you left a comment to let me know what you think! It's about the only way I get any payment for this!
> 
> My life has been such a mess while writing this I sincerely didn't think I'd get it done and there were definitely times where it felt more like a chore than a joy. If you made it this far then I hope you think it was worth it. As for me I'm both relieved and proud to have it over with and will be back to updating my much neglected WIP's and oneshots soon.
> 
> You're all wonderful!
> 
> Thank you <3


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